I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me four happy years with Charles.
I got to see and do new things. My world opened up. I'm not the same person that I was four years ago.
That's over.......although married.......it's time to move on to couples therapy because I really don't trust this man.
Yesterday I cleaned the house of every remanent of him.
I did cry....thanks to Zoloft.
It's over because I will never trust him again.
Thank you Almighty for helping me.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a very strong woman.
I spent the weekend at the apartment with Charles. The glow is gone after what he did. Although he phoned therapists.....I don't believe that he is capable or wants to follow through with what it takes to make the changes to make a decent marriage. He wants to be single and married with me in the middle....we both know that won't work!
I hosted Mahjong at my house and really enjoyed it. I'm moving ahead with my life.
I am home today by choice and really enjoying my day.
I will move forward with my life.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a bright woman and I know that He will help me devise a plan to deal with Charles.
I will pray at home today and have quiet time.
I needed this after the trauma I have been through.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me the breathe of life.
I know what I must do with Charles.
It all made sense because of my history.
I learned that I can be an independent woman.
I made it through the rain.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to make it through the rain.
I was out in St. James yesterday at the apartment.
It's not the same with Charles.
I'm playing his game for the moment. He took me out to dinner. We sat outside and talked and it was like pulling teeth. Finally he admitted that when he is with Frank.....he wants to be like him.
Without writing everything to you....this is not the man I dated.
This morning before I left he said that he might have to ask me for money to help with his vehicle as it went for a checkup today. I told him all my financial troubles.
Had he been truthful and decent I would help him.
However that's not the case.
Thank you Almighty for opening my eyes.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to eliminate my anger.
I will never forgive Charles BUT I will move on. The apartment in St. James makes a great "vacation" when I choose to go there. I know who Charles is and have added "gaslighting" to his description in our conversation last night. I can be a very good actress and will do so when i see him. He makes a good "hired companion" and that is what I will think of him. He drives. I get to vacation. I get to see my family without car service.
I will use him as he used me.
My anger is gone and I'm smiling.
I will move forward.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has allowed me to move on.
It will take time to move away from Charles W. Gluck BUT I have the time. It might be difficult because of the LOVE BOMBING BUT IT WILL HAPPEN.
Yesterday he told me that the reason for what he did (Blackened FaceTime in Fort Lauderdale, Wedding Ring on right hand, Not being allowed to come and bring lunch Passover and late FaceTime) was that he wants to be Married and Single in front Dan and Frank. This is grandstanding.
I'm done and I'm moving on.
I need to perfect my act.
I'm not good at that BUT I will succeed with the Almighty's help.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me strength.
I was shocked with what Charles pulled on me..... the blackened FaceTime in Fort Lauderdale.....the wedding ring on the right hand.....the asking me to FaceTime at a certain time and then it was 45 minutes later and the uninvite to St. James during Pesach.
I was sad. My dream had been shattered.
However today I'm glad that I had this dream because I had it.
He's a player and now I know that.
I know what to do.
I'm grateful to the Almighty for this.
Thank you.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to grow and make changes in my life.
I'm not the same person that I was when I married Martin.
I've grown and changed.
I am grateful for the life that the Almighty has given me.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a strong woman.
This may be the end of Charles. Ignoring me all Passover week with excuses as to why we couldn't get together really disgusted me. Trying to be "Dan's manager" and working out with him how much to charge me for flowers was also what he did.
It hurts. I was used. But that's over!!!!
I'm on my way to services now to live my own live my own life.
Thank you Almighty for making me a strong woman.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a strong and capable woman.
There are issues going on with Charles that are not good ones........I don't know the where or why of them BUT I know that they are there. I have confronted him about this. I have talked about his going into therapy BUT to no avail.
I'm going about my life in a watchful waiting position.
One cannot fight fate.
We will see what happens.
I've grown up since the Creature died and I'm proud of me!!
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a Capricorn and I'm a strong and resilient person.
Things are in the process of changing. I am a strong person and I will see it through.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to understand when change is in the works and I'm able to make the changes necessary to move forward.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has allowed me to make changes in my life.
I QUIT PLAYING MAHJONG and I had a wonderful night last night.
I'm going to appreciate each moment of my life.
Today I'm going to read, fruit and vegetable shop and enjoy my life.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am beyond grateful the Almighty because He has finally helped me to find myself.
The second Seder was better than the first in that I COULD BE MYSELF AND ENJOY IT.
I realized that ALTHOUGH I'M A CAPRICORN......I DON'T ACT IT........I give in to others and get hurt.
It's time to BE ME.
I dropped out of Mahjong. I don't need the people I play with MOCK all that I do and me.....being me.....accept it.
I'm done.
I'm me and very proud of it.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because the Almighty allowed the entire first Seder to be a success.
Hilary, Dana, Izzy, Remi, Charles and I attended the first Seder.
It was a HUGE SUCCESS!!
I am grateful to the Almighty for doing this for me.
Today I attend the second Seder by myself which is fine.
The Almighty is looking out for me.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has always remained in my life.
I will definitely try to be more positive even though my horoscope is Capricorn.
Today is the first Seder.
I am all ready to go to Plainview Jewish Center and enjoy it. And with me comes Charles and the entire family including my Remi.
Thank you Almighty for all the love and caring that you have shown me all my life.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a strong and resilient woman.
While it's true that I have PTSD and at times I am overwhelmed, the Almighty has sent me to yoga where I learned to back off and breathe.
Charles and I have made peace. We saw Barry Manilow this week. He was wonderful. I got the car inspected and I'm ready for Passover.
Today I'm getting my hair straightened and I'm bringing my new book to read.
I have strategies to deal with B.B. and I will treat her as I treated the Creature.....silence is golden.
Thank you Almighty for my strength and resilience.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to know what I need.
Do I need Mahjong in my life? Or has it run its course???
Perhaps I should add the Evening Minyan to what I do and eliminate Mahjong.
I will be grappling with this decision for a bit until I decide what needs to be done.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to remember what He has taught me.
I AM FREE!!!! I DO NOT have to be abused by anyone. I am here to have a purposeful life and to take care of myself. This means that I WILL NOT BE NEEDLED OR BANTERED WITH IN MAHJONG BY BASTARD BARBARA. It means that CHARLES CANNOT KICK ME AROUND WITH DIFFERENT TIMES TOO.
At my stage of life, the Almighty has put me here to enjoy life. I am grateful for this and I will NOT FORGET HOW ONCE I WAS A SLAVE AND I WON'T BE ONE AGAIN!
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful for your love.
I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy in my life.
Charles and I made peace....it was a foolish argument.
I am healthy.
I'm happy.
I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy in my life.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me dear friends.I
Just this morning Freddy came to fix my computer.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a strong woman.
Thank you.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has allowed me to live within the moment and appreciate it.
The Almighty has allowed different people to come into my life to help and assist me. I will not expect them to do more than they are supposed to do.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me aware of what is going on in the present.
I will NOT be fooled.
Charles really love bombed me yesterday.......flowers......paying for my necklace at Solomon's....and a beautiful dinner at Mario's.
He promised to investigate therapy BUT who knows if he will go. He said that I could come to a few sessions. We will see what happens. I am being very realistic now.
I do love the guy BUT not the way I did.
Circumstances change us and we move on.
I am grateful to the Almighty for this knowledge.
Thank you.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me a great deal of strength to be able to deal.
It was tough to write about this before BUT now I'm able to. Charles lied to me on his vacation to Florida. He went to Fort Lauderdale two weeks after the Wedding Celebration and proceeded to lie to me about going to a bar.......pretending in a FACETIME that he was at a restaurant and creating an elaborate deception which I figured out.
I am very very disillusioned with him and made changes in my life as a result of this because lying is not love. I'm not waiting years.....or trying to help....love has flown away.
He is coming over this afternoon having convinced me that he will go to therapy. This will not solve the problem as I am disillusioned in him.
I will have to act my way through this.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to therapy.
I learned so much! I learned who I am and what I need and want.
I had an argument with Charles and I was able to express myself and not back down.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to the Almighty for the new day that He has chosen to give to me.
I am happy.
I am healthy.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
