GRATEFUL THAT I AM CRYING

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am finally crying.

All my life I held in my feelings and developed strategies to cope with all the trauma that I was living though.  I never even thought about these parents once I left the house to go to school.

I felt that I had no choice.

As a child there was no one there that gave a damn about me. I existed in order to be abused.  I wanted to succeed, to be able to move away from them,  to meet my true love,  to have a career and children and everything that everyone else had.

When my mother said, "YOU LOOK LIKE THEM AND ACT LIKE THEM AND I WILL BREAK YOU," I thought that she failed.

She didn't.

When I met the psychopath I tied myself up in knots in order to be loved by him.  I again created strategies to deal with him.

Now they are all dead.

I am able to cry in sorrow and in mourning for the trauma of my life.  Each time that I cry it feels like a cleansing and I am grateful to the Almighty that I am finally facing what the three of them did to me.

I accept the fact that I am suffering from trauma and that I will heal with the help of the Almighty.

Thank you.

I am grateful.