GRATEFUL FOR NEW BEGINNINGS

I am grateful to the Almighty for His hand in helping me to create new beginnings in my life.

I have old friends and new friends and closer friends now that my abuser is gone.  I have old activities and new ones.

We are up to closing on the co-op.

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the good that he has given me.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for giving me this wonderful calm new life.

It is balanced with chores and fun.

I have friends and activities.

I am accepted and talked to and smiled at wherever I go.

I am so grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR HELPING FRIENDS

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am now in a position to help friends.

My girlfriend Karen and her husband Bob have been amazing during my struggle with PTSD.

I was able to help them yesterday.

They have a borderline daughter who attacked Bob and bit him.  They had to flee the house.  I was able to invite them to mine, sit in the living room and we calmed each other down and shared stories.

My nature is to help friends.

I was grateful to the Almighty that I was able to do this for my friend.

Thank you Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR A SNOWY DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is a snowy day.  We had a storm last night.

There would be fear in the past as I had to create strategies in order to be safe. Now I can just "be."

That is absolutely wonderful.

I did my food shopping yesterday before the storm.  Dana and Seth came to Plainview to hang out and have dinner in a Mexican restaurant.  I did do one thing that I will never do again.  I asked Dana if there was anything that I did while she was growing up that had a diverse affect on her personality.  She mentioned the crazy "fights" if you can call them that that I had with him on Saturdays while she was growing up and how scared she felt.  She said that I should have made sure that it didn't happen.  I wish I could have done that but I lived in fear too.  She also mentioned how she knew that I ate non-kosher food on the outside from him.  These were not terrible things but I had no idea how disloyal he was until years later.

Today will be a day of peace and quiet.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR LAUGHTER

I am grateful to the Almighty for the laughter in my life.

I start the morning laughing at Matzah or with Matzah.  I give him Reiki.  I brush him.  I watch what he does.  I don't have to leave the house because I'm no longer living in fear.

I laugh at the program on my new television.  I laugh with friends.

Last night I had Thai food with my girlfriend Margie and her daughter.  We all laughed.  Lara, her daughter met Matzah.  It was beautiful.

I laugh with my boyfriend Jay.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the laughter in my life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR FINDING MY TRUE SELF

I am grateful to the Almighty because He is helping me to find my true self.

I had to hide who I was for so many years because I was never safe around my abusers.  It only got worse through the years.  There was no time to explore myself.  All my time was spent creating strategies for survival.

There was an outside me and an inside me.  Now I'm in the process of combining them because I am safe in my own home.

I am enjoying my days and my nights.  I feel safe inside.

I am enjoying making friends and speaking my mind.

I am exposing my feelings and emotions most of which are foreign to me.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR THE DISAPPEARANCE OF AVOIDANCE AND FEAR

I am grateful to the Almighty because I no longer have to avoid being home and living in fear.

Gone are the strategies for survival and the feeling that every time I was home I had to be careful around my abuser.

I'm free!!!!!

Yesterday I did so many things and they were all enjoyable.  I went to therapy, got my hair colored and cut too.  I talked on the phone, texted, read, went to the bank, went to The Home Depot, watched television and spoke to my boyfriend too.

All was peaceful and there was no avoidance and fear.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.