GRATEFUL FOR THE DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because the cold that I had is under control.  

Yesterday was an amazing day.  I enjoyed the yoga, the dinner and the book discussion.  All the librarian did was review a summary of the book and I knew when it was time to leave.

I was delighted that he wasn't home.  I completed all my chores, walked the doggie and read.  I was asleep before he returned.  I never worried.

Today, I'm having my hair colored for the High Holidays which I will truly enjoy without anyone upsetting me.

I have joy!!!  I have energy!!!!   I will have a good day!!!!

I am so grateful to the Almighty for watching over me.

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

My mantra is:  I HAVE JOY!!!!   I HAVE ENERGY!!!!  I WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!

I am so grateful to tell you that I got my new night guard.  My bonding was also fixed.  I knew how to handle dinner conversation.

Today is going to be wonderful.   I have yoga. Then, I'm going for sushi.  I have a book discussion at my library.

As long as I disengage and don't say a lot, life is good.   Let the triad annoy each other.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING

I am grateful that I now understand people.  It makes it so much easier to live and to enjoy life.  There is a calmness to it.  I have no hopes that the triad will get better. I know who they are, what they do and I am grateful for the understanding.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this understanding.

GRATEFUL FOR SUNDAY NIGHT/MONDAY

I am grateful to the almighty because I am definitely learning how to handle the toxic people around me.

I went to the condo with him again because there had been a fire and someone had broken our condo lock.  He was in an exceptionally fine mood, but I was not fooled.  This is just one of his many moods to play, "gotcha."  

I will continue with my quiet voice, always being aware of who is is and what needs to be said and what is left unsaid.

I did realize this morning that it is time to retire.  I am 65.  I will be 65 1/2 when I finally retire.  God willing, I will be healthy.  I will have 31 years and 3 months in the system.  It's time.  I know how to deal with the triad and I will be fine.

GRATEFUL FOR THE WEEKEND

Thanks to the Almighty, this new strategy of a quiet little voice has given me a wonderful weekend.

I was able to finish The Picture of Dorian Grey and begin to read, Unbroken.  On Saturday, I went to services in the morning and then was able to walk.  I spoke to Hilary and finally explained what my life has been like.   I also was able to go to the Selichot services at the synagogue.  For the first time, I went by myself and met up with friends.  I got home at midnight and read for a bit.

This morning, I walked, went to PJC, did yoga, went to Weight Watchers, read the newspapers quietly and even was able to go to the bakery and get my challahs and cake for Rosh Hashana. Now I'm on the computer.

I am grateful to the Almighty for sending me the doctor who explained that my chat-strategy NEVER worked.   Quiet chat about what is right in front on me is the way to go.  It has given me so much more time to do the things that I love.

GRATEFUL FOR MY INSIGHT

I have finally figured him out.  It's about time.   In order to try and control me, every day there will be a new and different mood that he is in.  I'm supposed to react to it.

Initially, I thought up new strategy and the strategies were making me crazy.  Then today, I decided to have NO CHANGEABLE  STRATEGY.   My strategy is simple.  It's a quiet voice and less talking.  It's the enjoyment of the moment.  It's the relaxation of the moment.  It's the calmness that this brings.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new insight.

GRATITUDE FOR STRENGTH AND PRAYING FOR STRENGTH

It's the first weekend of the new school year.  He has been trying very hard to needle and upset me so that I will get angry.  Then his pattern will be to call 911, the girls and his sister-in-law to carry on about me.  He has already, thanks to one of them given me a diagnosis of BPD.  I will never forget, HI!!!!!!

I have to try very hard this weekend to maintain my "cute little voice" so that he doesn't get to me.

I am praying to the Almighty for the strength to do this.  I think that if I take a deep breathe and know this about him, I will succeed.  I also must remember not to speak when I'm tired and to say that I am tired.  If he makes a new rule, I'm to be quiet until it's clarified like the one about the necklace.  These rules are made to upset me and I have to be careful NOT to react or he's got me.

I'm brighter than he is.  I have him figured out.  

I pray to the Almighty that I will succeed.