GRATEFUL FOR GIVING UP FALSE DREAMS

I am grateful to the Almighty for giving up dreams that will never happen.  Sometimes, I get a bit sad when I visualize these dreams, but then, I move forward.

This has allowed me to really enjoy the life that I have.   Last night, I enjoyed dinner out with book club friends and really found myself laughing.   I enjoyed the book club also.

I'm finding that more and more, I'm happy with my life and I'm not lamenting that this is a substitution for what I really wanted.   

Those dreams are rapidly receding. Sometimes they return, but not with the intensity that they once had.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING TO DECEIVE PEOPLE

I am grateful to the Almighty for finally learning to deceive people that I don't care about.  It's a skill that I never had, but, one that I will work on because it will help me to have a happy life.

One of the Triad texted me that she misses the dog. I'm sure that this means that she wants to be taken out to dinner again with her boyfriend.   This one has a boyfriend that he hates.   Initially, when I told him about this request, I thought that he would be annoyed that he would have to see the boyfriend again.  NOT EXACTLY!!!  He was willing to do it to see her and ready to blame me for not wanting to.

I changed my tune. I told the husband part of the Triad that I liked the boyfriend and couldn't wait to see him again as well as her.

I then texted her that I can't wait to go to Kripala.

I'm enjoying this deception as these people matter to me as I matter to them!!!!

I'll get a decent dinner out of this and I won't have to cook because I have no energy! After all, I'm older!!!!!!!

GRATITUDE FOR FUN

I am so thankful to the Almighty because he has shown me what fun is. 

After work yesterday,  I walked and after dinner I went to a wonderful Restorative Yoga class and then to a Silent Auction run by my Sisterhood as a fund raiser.  I bid on a pig because I wanted to give it to one of our secretaries. To my amazement, when I opened the package, I found a pig frying pan, spatula and wisk brush all in miniature size.

I was so happy this morning to give it to her.

Today, I have a private yoga lesson, dinner with friends and a book discussion. 

What could be better?????

GRATEFUL FOR LISTENING TO FRIENDS

I am grateful to the Almighty for having friends that I listen to.

Last night, I attended my class and had a good time chatting with my friends.

This morning I spoke to friends at work and really learned something.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR THE WEEKEND...TIL SUNDAY NIGHT!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for a wonderful weekend.   Friday night, I finished my book and began another.

 Saturday,  I enjoyed services and kiddish.  I liked walked and enjoyed the film, LINCOLN.   

Sunday, I enjoyed walking, yoga and my Restorative Yoga Workshop.   Then came Sunday night. I have to find a way to cut these discussions out with him.  They aren't good for my health. 

The way to do this is to finalize the conclusion that the dream is dead and move on.  I'm going to work on this and see where it will lead.

GRATEFUL FOR PASSING THE TEST

In school there are lots of tests that we must pass in order to become something in this world.  The same is true of life, I have discovered.  In order to have a simple and happy balanced life, there are many tests that one has to pass.

I am grateful to the Almighty for passing some tests.  Last night, we went to see a film.  On the way, in order to make conversation, I told him about the sad state of affairs of the Rabbis wife. His comment was to ask how an intelligent man could make such a poor decision in marrying  this woman.  My response was to say that sometimes very intelligent people are fooled and only after children come, does the spouse reveal themselves.  He questioned whether I was talking about him.  I CHANGED THE SUBJECT!  However, I got my point across.

This morning, he chose to discuss his hospital stay and how much he has learned from it.  I DID NOT SAY A WORD BUT CONTINUED TO BRUSH MY TEETH.

I showed him pictures of our older one on Facebook in front of a Christmas tree.  He chose to defend her.  I just asked where her boyfriend was.

I am learning that one can speak one's mind non-emotionally as long as one knows when to shut down.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this revalation.

And now it's off to RESTORATIVE YOGA.  I'm not staying home!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR CHANGING VISIONS

I was in synagogue this morning saying my prayers.   I  always read a poem in the back of the siddur that has special meaning for me.

Suddenly, I realized that one of the verses said that you could be grateful to the Almighty for changed visions.  I realized that this was ME!!!!!  I am grateful to the Almighty because I no longer am in mourning for my old life.  It was a life created by a fantasy in my mind.  It NEVER EXISTED!!!!

Instead, I am so grateful for the life, the friends and the activities that I have.  I am grateful for the career that I have.  I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful to the Almighty for making this life possible.   It s a changed vision that I love.