GRATEFUL FOR HAPPINESS

I am grateful to the Almighty for my mantra,"  I HAVE JOY.  I HAVE ENERGY.  I WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!

This mantra helps me to connect with myself each and every day.  Yesterday, I went back to my regular scheduled private yoga session.  I was grateful.  I'm reading a good book.  I am grateful. I know how to deal with my enemies.  I am grateful.

Tonight, I'm going out to dinner with friends.  I have learned when to speak and when not to speak.  I am comfortable with myself.

Thank you Almighty for my life.

I am happy.

GRATEFUL FOR MY OWN LIFE

They say that "youth is wasted on youth." In my case, it was so true!!!   I spent my entire life trying to have him understand my dreams and goals.  

In the end, I have come to realize that he has no positive dreams.  He had no positive goals.  His dream and his goal were to tear down yours.

Thanks to the Almighty because I have come to realize this.   I now have my own dreams and goals.  I really enjoyed the Sisterhood meeting last night.  One of my goals was to attend these meetings and I am achieving that.

He is now annoying me to sell the condo.  I had dreams for that little condo. His dream was to tear down mine.  Wouldn't it be better to sell it and move ahead with my own goals???  I'm beginning to think so.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my own life.

GRATEFUL THAT I MADE IT TO TODAY

With all that was going on this summer between him and me, it is amazing that the Almighty helped me to have the wonderful summer that I ALONE DID.  As I've said these past entries, ALL THE THINGS THAT I ENJOYED, I DID ALONE.

The "HI" has helped me to understand that I CAN RETIRE, THAT I KNOW WHAT TO DO IN ORDER TO SURVIVE.

I am grateful to the Almighty that he showed me the "HI" so that I can move forward with MY OWN LIFE.

I am hoping that this is my last year at work and that I stay healthy and can reap the benefits of what I have accomplished to be able to move on to an enjoyable life that I ALONE will create for myself.  It doesn't mean that I wish him harm.  It's just that I now know that in order to ENJOY, I must do it alone.

I can never forget that when he starts, I NEED TO WALK OUT OF A ROOM!!!!!!  

GRATEFUL FOR THIS SUMMER

I am grateful to the Almighty for the many things that I learned this summer.   I believe that the Almighty must have been so frustrated with me and that's how "HI" happened.  I learned a lot from that.   I learned to walk out of the room at the slightest showing of ranting or bantering. But, most of all, I became free of the 3 people who have held me down.  I can now be independent without thinking of others, the way that was brought up to do.  This morning, I told him that if there was an emergency, he could call the main office of my school.  My goal with him was to have him hold off  speaking to me on the phone, since he has perfected a phone voice, and to work on "face time," when I came home.  I am grateful that I did not extend an invitation for the High Holidays to the girls because they don't want to come anyway and just felt an obligation.  I freed up the holidays.

As a result of all this and the many fun activities that I have had all summer, I have decided to retire.  I think that "HI" was the Almighty's way of making this happen.

As I took my walk this morning and reviewed my summer, I was grateful for what I have learned and happy that independently, I will have a future, God willing.

GRATEFUL FOR THE LAST ACT

I didn't expect this.  I came home from walking to find him in a major hissy fit.  He thinks that he is having a heart attack and he's doing the act!!!!!!   I was going to go to yoga, but I realized that he wouldn't let me do it and would be a drama-queen and create an entire act.  What did I do???

For my last act, I cried, LOUDLY AND SCREAMED TOO!!!! Some of the crying was real because it had to do with pent up anger that I didn't want to keep inside.  

AND THEN A MIRACLE!!!!!  He felt better.  I told him that "MY DOCTOR" said that I shouldn't stay in a house filled with stress, so I went on errands.  I weighed myself at WEIGHT WATCHERS which I planned to do, bought goodies there and went to CVS and bought more interesting things.

Leaving the house is costly.

Anyway the act shut him up for a while.   Tuesday is work and I'm FREE!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE ABILITY TO MOVE ON

I am grateful to the Almighty for allowing me to understand that I must begin to move on with my own life if I am to survive.   I have buried the old dreams and have moved forward.  Sometimes that can be hard, but I am going to make it.  I'm going to do this quietly so that I can fully enjoy my life.

I wish I had known this sooner.  However, I did what I thought was best and do not feel guilty about my choices.  I had nothing to work with which made it all the more difficult.

However, I am successful and have built my own quality life despite the odds.  I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW INNER AND OUTER VOICE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the insights that I have had this summer. Although I do have to mourn the 3 people of the past and my relationship with them,  I am looking forward to the future and my new understanding of a relationship with them.

It won't be the same.  However, it will be real.  It won't be my dream.  It will be reality.  This will help ME to move forward to enjoy the person that I have worked so long and hard to become.

I did the best that I could with the 3 of them and now the time is MINE!!!!