GRATEFUL BECAUSE I FORGIVE MYSELF

I am grateful to the Almighty because I practiced yoga yesterday and the instructor spoke of forgiving yourself.

That is something that I have not been able to put into words but I have so many questions.  Why didn't I fight with my mother when she said those awful things to me?  Why didn't I tell a family member what she said?  Why didn't I leave him?

The questions torture me BUT in the end I forgive myself.  It's true that I was a respectful Jewish child.  It was a crazy home.  I didn't like to fight.  No one was on my side.  I wanted love and I thought that I would receive it from him.  

In the end I achieved much more in life than I ever thought I would.

I forgive myself.  I was a child that had been broken emotionally by two very disturbed people.

I survived.

I hope that the Almighty gives me a long and healthy life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE OVERCOME CHALLENGES

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a strong and capable woman.

I'm a woman who has overcome challenges and moved on successfully with her life because the Almighty walks by my side.

It was hard looking at the graphic of the cemetery stone that I chose for him because it was like seeing a replay of my life.  However life is a time line and I intend to move forward.

Last night I ate dinner out.  I had a marvelous dessert.  I have to stop doing that or nothing will fit.  I came home to watch The Hot Zone.

Today I will practice yoga.  I have to go to the dentist to get my new night guard.  I was able to walk.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL THAT MY LIFE IS FLUID AND FLEXIBLE

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to practice yoga yesterday and it was there that I learned that life is fluid and that there are always changes.  One must be flexible to accept change and move on.

This was a wonderful thing to hear because it summed up my new life.  I am fluid.  I am making important changes in my life and I'm proud of me.

Yesterday I had lunch with two new friends and I will do it again!!!!  Freddy came yesterday but it rained so the outdoor jobs could not be worked on.  Today he will clean the carpets.

Today is a busy day.  I'm practicing yoga.  I'm going to meditation.  I'm going to therapy.  I'm ordering the cemetery stone for my abuser and practicing yoga after that and going out to dinner.  

I'm still getting what I call robo calls from my brother but I haven't responded.  I've put together the puzzles of my life and moved on.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR A PEACEFUL HEART

I am grateful to the Almighty because my heart is peaceful......my life is peaceful.

Yesterday I meditated.  I have made it to Level 3 and I am very proud of myself.  Afterwards I went to Athletica and cashed in some of my gift cards.  I went to the Walt Whitman Mall and to Lord and Taylors to cash in other gift cards.  Then I went to Fairway to do a bit of shopping and bought the most beautiful flowers to fill up the purple vase that Seth and Dana filled with flowers and sent me n Mother's Day.   I read, walked, had dinner and watched Chernobol.  It was a perfect end to a perfect weekend that I planned for me!!!

Today I will practice yoga.  I will meditate too.  I'm having lunch with a girlfriend.  I've got chores to do.

Life is peaceful.  Life is quiet.  

It's beautiful.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR THE CALM AND QUIET

I am grateful to the Almighty because my life is calm and quiet.

This is Memorial Day Weekend.  I know now that it was a horror going to the condo/co-op.  He found people like himself.  I was alone as he satiated himself at the pool with Tony at the condo and Chris at the co-op.  Until he became ill, I cooked or we went to restaurants west of Westhampton Beach.  I was alone most of the time.  He loved The Hampton Synagogue because you got a free lunch but refused to give a contribution at the end of the summer or go to the end of summer festivities.  I was paying for it but I never got to attend.  He would be upset if I gave a donation.

I am grateful now because my life is calm and quiet.  I breathe.  I notice the world as I walk.  I love Meditation.  Yesterday I practiced in Margaret's class.  Today the studio is closed so I will extend my meditation and my walk.

I am loving the peacefulness of my new life.  I'm also deciding about shopping for food and yoga clothes because I have points from American Express.

No longer do I have to walk early in the morning.  I call read my paper and drink coffee in calm and quiet!!

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR BEING PEACEFUL

I am grateful to the Almighty for the peaceful feelings inside me.

Yesterday I had a wonderful peaceful experience at Plainview Jewish Center at services.  I sat with my friends and enjoyed the service.   I came home to have lunch and finish my book for the Plainview Book discussion.   I googled up the summary of the next two books for the Yoga Book Club and Sisterhood Book Club.

I was able to take a lovely walk.  I actually walked for two hours and five minutes.  The day was like a vacation.........so peaceful.

I cleaned the house too!!!!

I had dinner......tofu and vegetables and started the book for the Yoga Book Club.

Today I'm practicing yoga with Doreen.  I'm getting a manicure/pedicure and changing the color to blue this time.  I hope to get to Weight Watchers and I have an afternoon Meditation Appointment.


I will read too.  I will relax.  I will walk.

What a beautiful day.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR BEING CREATED WITH HERO QUALITIES

I am grateful to the Almighty for many reasons on this Memorial Day weekend.

I am grateful because the Almighty gave me the qualities of a hero.  I am strong and determined.  I love myself and believe in myself.  I am a survivor of abuse.

I am grateful that Freddy was here yesterday to work on my deck.  Then we had a glass of wine together.

I am grateful because I was able to Meditate, practice yoga and walk.

I am grate that I was able to figure out how to attach a new chain to Matzah so I could sit in the front.

Today I will attend services at PJC.  I will walk and enjoy the holiday weekend. No more will I have the work of bringing everything to the condo/co-op just to be abused there.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.