I am grateful to the Almighty for being in charge of myself. It's not easy to do this as it requires a lot of strength and fortitude not to respond to him. Thanks to the Almighty, I'm doing very well. I enjoy my weekends and when he tries to start, I shut him down by being quiet or leaving the room. Occasionally, I will answer, but in a very quiet voice.
I have studied him carefully, to be aware of what he tries to do. Here are his topics:
l. I'm sick- He will run the CHF forever as well as the cancer. I'm smiling as I write this. He has come up with the fact that pacemakers and defibulators move, that his hip hurts, that his bones hurt. It's meant to give me anxiety and when I open my eyes wide, to listen, but not to respond, he moves on.
2. Comments about the daughters- He will try to run negative comments about the daughters, the other parts of the Triad, to goad me. I don't respond.
3. Comments about how I can't cope- He will tell me that he worries about me. That is supposed to be emotional, but I respond by telling him that I'm capable and will learn.
4. Comments dealing with hating people or things- He will tell me that he hates Newsday, Jeff, the neighborhood, the lab, all in an attempt to get me to comment. I don't anymore.
I am grateful to the Almighty for understanding this so that I can proceed with my own life which is filled with friends, classes, yoga, book clubs, services, walking, work and life!!!
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