GRATEFUL FOR KEEPING MY COOL

I am grateful to the Almighty for keeping my cool in the face of adversity.

 By this I mean that I don't raise my voice no matter what is said to me.  I must tell you that this is very difficult for me to do.  It's probably the reason that I am not getting quality sleep as my sub-conscious plays tricks on me.  But, I imagine that if I keep up the good work, my conscious will get used to it.

He got his money yesterday and proceeded to tell me that he wanted to sell our house and buy a huge condo.   I listened quietly.  Gone was the dream of the condo on the East End.   I was sad.  I didn't let on, but cried quietly at night.

This morning I started to build a new dream for me because it seems that when I include him in my dreams, the dream fails and he feels control over me.   My dream is simple.  I will vacation at Montauk Manor and I will join the pool this coming summer, if the Almighty lets me be healthy.

He was upset that I didn't want to go out with the "children" for my birthday.  I didn't let on the reason, but you and I both know what happened in the summer.  I don't need gifts from them.  I've had my fill of mat cleaner, post-its, websites and Amazon books.  Quiet is the best gift that I can give myself.  

We are very different.  I have given up trying to fit a round peg into a square whole.  I tried and I tried for years and it didn't work.  I'm moving on.

He's upset that he couldn't create an issue and do what he did in the summer.  

I have kept my cool and I'm proud of myself.

Thank you, Almighty!!!