GRATEFUL FOR BEING ABLE TO BREATHE DEEPLY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am able to breathe deeply in my own home.

Today I will practice yoga in two classes.

I will clean house because it's a rainy day.

It's Halloween and I will enjoy giving out candy!!!

I will read too!!!

I am grateful for the calm that I feel in my house on this rainy day.

I am able to breathe deeply.

I thank the Almighty for this feeling.

May it always be so.

GRATEFUL FOR HEALING AND GROWING

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to practice yoga last night and it was there that Dawn spoke about healing and growing.

Slowly.....I am healing and growing into the person that I always was but wasn't allowed to show because I was psychologically abused.   

Yesterday was wonderful.  I loved the Guggenheim Museum and being with my friends.  We came back home and I ate a small dinner and went to practice yoga.  I came home to go to a Sisterhood Board meeting!!!!!  Wow!!!

Today Matzah is going for his checkup and I have therapy.

I will walk at The Home Depot because the weather is bad.  I will be able to go on my errands with Matzah in tow.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with Mahjong friends and then paying Mahjong!!!

Life is good.

Thank you Almighty!!

I am grateful!!

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING TO BE KIND TO MYSELF

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to learn to practice yoga and it was there that I learned to be kind to myself.

Yesterday was an amazing and wonderful day.  I practiced yoga.  I did my food shopping. I met with Rabbi Conn and planned Dana and Seth's wedding.  Then I called my friends to invite them to the wedding.

Today I will go on the fourth of the Art Tours.......to the Guggenheim Museum to see an exhibit of Frank Lloyd Wright.

I hope to practice yoga this evening and then go to a Sisterhood Board Meeting.

I am grateful to the Almighty for all that He has given me.

I am being kind to myself.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR SELF-CARE AND SELF-COMPASSION

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am learning about self-care and self-compassion.

I am learning to feel for myself and understand myself and acknowledge when I am in emotional pain.

Yesterday was a wonderful day with Dana and Seth.  It was quite a wonderful memory to buy the furniture for the baby and the Almighty has allowed me to live and enjoy this in good health.

Today I will meet with Rabbi Conn to plan the wedding and baby naming.  

I am grateful to the Almighty for teaching me to understand myself emotionally.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR GETTING STRONGER

I am grateful to the Almighty because I feel that I am getting stronger.

Yesterday was the Sabbath and I had a wonderful day filled with amazing activities......services....meditation........walking and I even made dinner!!!

Today I will practice yoga and will meditate.

I will be picking up Dana and Seth at the Hicksville Railroad Station at 1.  We will be having lunch and then shopping for baby furniture.

I have lived to see this day and I'm very excited.  It's also a tough day....BUT......the Almighty will help me to get stronger with each passing day.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR BEING ABLE TO CHANGE DIRECTIONS

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to practice yoga and it was there that I learned to change directions if something isn't working.

I have done this very often in my life, most recently with my daughters and I am healthier as a result of this.

Today is the Sabbath and I am getting ready for services.

I will walk today.

I will read.

I will practice meditation.

I am grateful to the Almighty for all that He has given me in life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR USING YOGA AND MEDITATION IN REAL LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to yoga and meditation and I have been using them  in real life.

Yesterday I practiced in Elyses class and she spoke of twists and how life twists you up and how you have to learn to get out of those twists.

I also meditated yesterday and thought about the false pictures that I take and believe in.  The saying that is very important is:  "Please make it disappear."

I've been having issues with those so called daughters of mine.  Inheriting psychopathology from a grandmother and having him as a step-father doesn't help.  I have been using yogic and meditation principles and it really helps.

Today I will practice yoga, get my hair blown out and have therapy with Kera.

My new book is good and another one comes today.

Tonight is erev Shabbat.

Thank you Almighty for watching over me.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR PEACE

I am grateful to the Almighty for the peace in my life.

Last night I came home from dinner with Rhonnie and a Sisterhood Book Club with a feeling of peace and quiet.   I was so grateful!!!!

This morning I will practice yoga and meditate.

H20 is coming to turn off the sprinkler.

I will clean the house too!!

I do these things with a feeling of peace and contentment.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR SELF-LOVE

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has taught me to love myself.

The Fall Holidays are over.  Each one was more joyous than the next.  I enjoyed them to the fullest.  I prayed for a healthy and happy year for myself and my family.  I hope that the Almighty has heard my prayers.

There was an altercation with Dana yesterday.  She was going to force me to host Thanksgiving in the same manner that It used to do.......Intimidation and that's not going to happen ever again!!!

Today I will practice mediation and yoga.  There are chores to do and Judith to see.

I'm having dinner with friends and going to the Sisterhood Book Club tonight.

I am grateful to the Almighty fr my new life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR SELF-CARE

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am learning to take care of myself.

This morning I will be heading to services to enjoy the last Fall holiday......SIMCHAT TORAH.

I will be coming home to Matzah and a house that is CALM, QUIET and PEACEFUL.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my health and my happiness.  The holidays are over and they were wonderful.

I hope and pray that the Almighty grants me as well as my little family  a Healthy and Happy New Year.

Thank you!!

I am grateful!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY QUIET LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for the quiet and calm life that I now have.

Today and Tuesday are the final Fall Jewish holidays.

I was really tired today and I slept later.  I will pray at home.  It dawned on me that I COULD NEVER DO THAT BEFORE.

Later......

I did pray at home and t was so meaningful.  I even said the prayers that Rabbi Jay gave me and that was amazingly meaningful for Yizkor.

It meant so much to me to be allowed to sleep, to be at home in the calm and quiet.  I was never able to do this and I am so grateful for the peace and quiet.  I was able to walk, to read, to talk to friends and to prepare for the final Fall holiday......Simach Torah!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.....

GRATEFUL FOR A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I am grateful to the Almighty because I woke up with a positive attitude today.

I know who I really am!!!!

I practiced yoga in Doreen's class and then headed to the Collation that PJC was giving to Cantor Judith Berkson which had a reception afterwards.  It was extremely enjoyable. I sat with friends and discussed MahJong.  I purchased a mezuzah for my new little granddaughter who is due in January.  Then it was off to drop Matzah at Petco for a bath and grooming on onwards to Trader Joe's.

I went to Athleta too.  I was able to "purchase" three heavy yoga tops because of my points.

I picked up Matzah from Petco and he looked wonderful.

I called Karen too.

Tonight is the beginning of the last of the Fall Jewish holidays.

I'm  making chicken for dinner.

I lit candles, said my blessings and had dinner quietly and calmly.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my positive attitude and knowing who I am.

I am grateful for my quiet life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR SEEING WHO I REALLY AM

I am grateful to the Almighty because through His sending me to yoga I have begun to see who I am.

I'm a beautiful, strong, bright, independent and capable woman!!!!

Today I will attend services and participate in the Sukkah Hop.

Later:

The Sukkah Hop turned into a bust.  There was PJC's Sukkah and one other because of the bomb cyclone earlier in the weekend that knocked down my barbecue.

I came home to relax, read and walk.

Later........

It's a beautiful day.   And I took a 2 hour walk!!!

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for this beautiful new day.

All is quiet in my home and in my backyard.  Everything is in place.  Gone is that barbecue and its horrible memories.

Yesterday I had my hair colored and blown out.  I cleaned the house.  I did errands.  In the evening I went to dinner at Pasteria which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Today I will practice yoga.  I will speak with Judith and then go to Fairway.

Tonight is the Sabbath!!!  A day of rest and tomorrow is the Sukkah Hop!!!

Thank you Almighty for this beautiful day.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE JOY IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the joy in my life.

Last night we had a major nor'easter with tremendous wind and rain.  I heard a loud "boom" in the middle of the night and thought the power was off.  I wasn't worried as I have a generator BUT it turned out to be the old barbecue which flew down the deck stairs and crashed.  I immediately called Freddy and he knew exactly what to do.  The barbecue is gone along with any memories of "It" grilling and bringing in food raw.  I am so grateful not to have to see this again.  I believe that it is the will of the Almighty.

Today I will clean the house and have my hair colored and blown out.  More purple is coming.

Tonight I will take myself out for dinner.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy in my life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR NEW ADVENTURES IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the new adventures in my life.

Today is the third Art Tour.  I am excited because we are going to The Brooklyn Museum to see the PIERRE CARDIN: FUTURE FASHION exhibit as well as THE DINNER PARTY by JUDY CHICAGO.

Dana is meeting me there.  That too is very exciting!!!!


More to come later........................


The day was a wonderful day even though it was raining.  I was with all my friends.  Dana arrived and we had fun.  It gave me a chance to show off my pregnant daughter.  The exhibits were really good.....and very enjoyable.

I even got to do some food shopping on the day home.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my wonderful day.

Thank you!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful holiday of Sukkot that I am having.

I enjoy the prayers.  I enjoy the fact that I can feel the presence of the Almighty as I pray.
I don't have to worry about strategies to be safe.

I enjoy the Rabbi.  I enjoy his speeches and  enjoy speaking to him.

I enjoy the Sukkah.  I no longer have to hide from people in the Sukkah who judge me based on what the creature or my girls did.

I enjoy walking on a beautiful day.

I enjoy my home.   I enjoy a glass of wine with Matzah on the deck even though the summer season is over and Freddy has put the furniture away.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful for all that you have given me.

GRATEFUL FOR A PEACEFUL SUKKOT

I am grateful to the Almighty for the PEACE and QUIET that I'm feeling on Sukkot.

The holidays are flying by because it is peaceful, calm and quiet in my home.

I find it so wonderful to get up and stretch and actually be tired in the morning because I can.  There ain't nothing to keep me wired.

Today is the first day of the Sukkot holiday and  will be at services.

I will return home to read....to relax and just maybe if the weather is better.......to walk.

Thank you Almighty for my PEACE and QUIET.

I am grateful.

PS.  I walked for 2 hours at different times because I could.

GRATEFUL FOR THE PEACE IN MY LIFE

I am grateful for the peace and calm in my life.

I sat outside with a glass of wine and endgame looking at my Zen Garden and the squirrels and birds.  I sat outside with Matzah right before lighting candles.  I have NEVER known such peace and contentment.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR THE BREATHE

I am grateful to the Almighty for the calm and quiet way that I feel.

It is reflected in my deep, calm, quiet breathes.

Yesterday was quite a nice day.  Matzah went for a re-check and has to return again in 2 weeks. Freddy came and we still have not determined where the squeaky nose is coming from.  I did get to walk.  I finished THE HANDMAID'S TALE and will begin the sequel THE TESTAMENTS  today.  It was a beautiful evening and I did get to sit outside with a glass of wine.

Today my new washing machine will be arriving.  This afternoon Freddy will be back to begin the Fall chores.

Tonight SUKKOT will begin.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am calm and happy with a smile on my face.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF

I am grateful to the Almighty because I practiced yoga in Leslie's class yesterday and she spoke of learning to love yourself.

This is a wonderful concept because it says that you put yourself first.   I've never done that because I was psychologically abused and always looking for someone's love.  It's time to love myself first.

And I did that yesterday.  All of the discussion was done by texting.  It seems that the week that was chosen for Seth's parents to come in in the Spring is May 27-29.....SHAVOUT!!!  That ONLY leaves them one day to pay a wedding in a Rabbi's study.  THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM.  Hilary suggested a local Rabbi.  Dana said they knew one on the Upper East Side. I AGREED WITH EVERYTHING!!!  IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM!!!  The end result is that I will ask my Rabbi and my friend Jay if they can perform this.  If they can't IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM!!!!

Today Matzah is going to the vet for a re-check and Freddy is coming.

I hope to walk although I'm not sure but I will finish my book.

Thank you Almighty for teaching me to love myself.

I am grateful!!!

GRATEFUL FOR SLOWING DOWN

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to yoga yesterday and Margaret taught us to slow down and appreciate the moment.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this because the list of things that I do in one day is huge.

Today, however, I will practice yoga, have my hair blown out and and finish my Fairway shopping.

Tonight is the beginning of the Sabbath.  I'm making chicken for dinner.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my life, my health, my happiness.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for a new day.  

I am healthy.  I am happy.  I am proud of myself because Yom Kippur was a huge success.

Today I'm up early to practice yoga and walk at The Home Depot.  The weather is horrible......lots of rain.

I have many chores to do too.  I'm going to clean the house and drop clothes at the laundromat.

I am treating myself to a manicure and dinner out too.

I am grateful to the Almighty for everything tat He has done for me.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR AN AMAZING YOM KIPPUR

I am grateful to the Almighty for standing by me all my life.

I prayed really hard this Yom Kippur.  Last year I was in the process of imploding.  This year I'm me!!!!  The weather was awful!!  I arrived at PJC and prayed my heart out!  I allowed myself to drive and be conservative turning on lights so I don't break my neck.

I came home after shower blowing and had "breakfast" and the two cups of DD decaf that I brought home.  Tomorrow it's back to regular coffee for me.

I was a beautiful holiday filled with friends who sat near me.  The Rabbi said that the inspiration for his sermon was "ME."  Wow!!!!

Thank you Almighty for always being with me.  I hope that I will be SEALED IN THE BOOK OF LIFE!

Thank you!!!

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING ABOUT FALSE DREAMS

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent me to therapy and I finally understand that my sorrow comes from false dreams about the past.

Ridding myself of these false dreams  is a process and I will have to be patient to rid myself of these dreams.

Today I hope to practice yoga, walk and have my hair blown out.

Tonight is Kol Nidre and tomorrow is Yom Kippur.  I hope that the Almighty seals me in the Book of Life for a Healthy and Happy New Year.

I thank you Almighty for being there for me.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR THE SHANTI IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for the "Shanti" in my life.

My life is peaceful, calm and quiet.

Today my kitchen chair is coming between 8AM and 10AM.  Remember one had been broken?

I hope to be able to walk and practice yoga.  I will be going to the bank and post office too.

I will be seeing Judith today.

Later I will have dinner with friends at Pasteria and play MahJong at my home.

Life is peaceful.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING ABOUT MY OWN NEEDS

I am grateful to the Almighty because through yoga I am finally understanding to care about my own needs.

My older daughter, husband and baby rented a car to visit the creature's grave.  Did I have to take them to dinner?  Absolutely not!!!!!  They NEVER came out to the house and saw what I've done with it. They weren't coming now. She doesn't like the baby to see the dog because she said he's crazy.  I created a story and moved forward!!!  I'm proud of me!!

Would you believe that she texted me later telling me that the stone is beautiful and that I did a wonderful job!  What a psychopath that has narcissistic tendencies.

As the saying goes, if you don't create WELLNESS you'll get ILLNESS.

Today I slept later.  It's amazing how restful my sleep is now that I'm not being psychologically abused. I still do get crazy nightmares but this too shall pass.  My anxiety in the morning is the result of how I lived all my life.  I still practiced yoga and because the weather was inclement, I walked at The Home Depot.  I dropped off my bag of donations for the homeless at PJC and went to DD to buy coffee.  I read both newspapers and am now on the computer.

I have bills to pay too.

I want to go to Atleta later to cash in my bonus cards from credit cards.  And I did and I had beyond fun.  I called American Express and another gift card is on its way. 

I made a wonderful salad and tofu and veggies as my main dish with wine. Melon for desert.

Life is good.

Life is fun.

I'm grateful to the Almighty for helping me to learn that I too have needs.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is the Sabbath.

It has been a busy week although very enjoyable.

I will go to services in the morning.

I will read, walk and breathe.

Thank you Almighty for this special day.

I am grateful.

P.S.   I walked for over 2 hours!! Wow!!

GRATEFUL FOR SAVORING EVERY MOMENT

I am grateful to the Almighty because I practiced yoga in Elyse's class yesterday and she spoke of savoring each moment and making it extra ordinary.

That's a wonderful idea!!!

She also spoke of knowing who you are and that's something that I'm working on also.

Today in lieu of yoga I have a meeting at PJC.  We are planning a brunch to honor people, like myself, who have been members of the synagogue for 20 or more years.  Louis will blow out my hair.  I will do some food shopping.  I will walk too.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my extra ordinary life.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR SPEAKING MY TRUTH

I am grateful to the Almighty because He created me as a person who speaks their own truth.

However what I have learned is that when it comes to people with mental illness like my mother, the creature and my daughter one cannot speak the truth because that can only be used by them to upset me and satiate themselves.  Therefore it is important to learn to be quiet or to speak non-speak as in 1984 by George well, meaning that one speaks but it makes no sense.

I am doing that and enjoying it greatly.

Meanwhile, on a positive note, I went to P.C. Richards with Karen and ordered a washing machine to be delivered on October 13th.  I did however eat many cookies and must now return to my A1C program.  Today I will take laundry to the laundromat as well as walk and practice yoga and read.

I am grateful to the Almighty for all that I have learned.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR THE BREATHE

I am grateful to the Almighty because I can breathe deeply.

I can breathe in the joy of Rosh Hashanah.

I can breathe in the joys of days and holidays to follow.

I can breathe in new life.

I can breathe in good health.

This is the way Rosh Hashanah should have been.  I'm thrilled that the Almighty allowed me to be healthy, live and breathe in the awe of the holiday.

Thank you Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL ROSH HASHANAH

I am beyond grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful Rosh Hashanah holiday that I had.

It was beautiful.  It was spiritual.  It was everything that I hoped it would be.

Gone was the needling and bantering.  Gone were the beady eyes and angry looks and starring. Gone were the disrespect for the Holy Days as there was no more sleeping in bed instead of going to services or walking around PJC without praying.  Gone was the bending of thumbs.  Gone was saying "FUCK YOU" to me as it left.  Gone was the criticism of my food or of food I ordered in.  Gone was the disrespect and using technology during the Holy Days.  Gone was leaving early.

Instead there was peace and quiet.  I was able to pray and listen to a speech.  My friends could sit next to me.  I was able to smile.  I was able to listen to the new Cantor. I was able to listen to the Rabbi's speeches.  I was able to walk, read and eat a quiet dinner.  I was able to visit friends and walk with them. I was able to breathe in the joy of these Holy Days.

Thank you Almighty for this wonderful Rosh Hashanah.  I hope that all my prayers are answered.

I am grateful.