I woke up early this morning re-living that unveiling yesterday. I am so proud of myself and so grateful to the Almighty for sending me the right therapist who helped me bring my work personality home so that I am able to cope with challenges.
At the house yesterday, I saw myself as a 20 something and 30 something person, so anxious to fit in with this group and so sad when I didn't. What control I gave him!!! He knew all the stories that I wanted to know so badly so that I could fit in. It didn't matter that I was teaching in the best district in the city or, later on, running a group home school. That personality stayed at work. At home, I wanted to fit in with this group.
Yesterday, I just watched and spoke when necessary. I realized that I wasn't at all like these people and had no need to fit in. His control evaporated.
I did however note, how dressed up he was to attend this. The disgusting clothing that he wears is just for me. I vowed to stop commenting on it, but was glad to see it, because the appropriate outfit that he wore for others was done for me years ago, to trap me.
I'm thrilled that I'm one person and grateful that it happened with enough years to live to Gd willing, enjoy it.
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