I am so grateful to the Almighty because yesterday, the Sabbath, I experienced a really calm day.
Services were wonderful and when I came home I read the newspaper. I walked and came home to play with Matzah on the deck and drink a glass of wine. I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY OF THIS ON A SABBATH!!!! I am so grateful to the Almighty for giving me this feeling of calmness and serenity.
I went to the service in the evening because it was the beginning of the Shavouth holiday. There was a speaker, a dinner and a service. It was absolutely wonderful.
Today I didn't go to services. I slept late because I was tired. I realized that I had never allowed myself the luxury of sleeping late. As a child, the abusive mother would be furious if I slept late and I trained myself not to ever. The abusive husband would love to carry on with me so I walked early to avoid him.
It's going to be hard because I'm older but I'm going to have to re-train myself.
Today will be a day of peace and calm. Tomorrow I will attend services.
Thank you Almighty.
I am grateful.
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