GRATEFUL FOR THE ALMIGHTY AND THERAPY AND MEDICATION

I am grateful to the Almighty for so many things.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I survived my abuser.  I will never refer to him by his human name again because he was a creature and a predator and I was his pray.   I chose him out of all the others because he had the qualities of my abusive parents.  I wanted them to love me and I wanted him to love me.

None of it ever happened.

I went through a horrific depression for many months because of how I was treated both by parents and him.  Neither daughter assisted me.  They learned a lot from him and became very much like him even to the point that they try to abuse me.  I'm not burning my bridges but I am very careful.   I am not working to have them love me.  I am treating myself with compassion.

I found 2 wonderful therapists and I am learning a great deal.. I am on 125mg of ZOLOFT and .5MG of ZANEX. I have been diagnosed with PTSD which lead to major depression.  I am slowly combining the person I was outside the house with the one I am inside.

I had no idea that he was a psychopath and a sociopath.  I thought that he just lacked social skills but that wasn't the case.  I am lucky that I survived after he had me locked up in NCMC and tried to kill me on the Jackie Robinson Parkway.   

I survived 70 years of abuse according to my therapists.  I have an index card from Kyra that says this.

I now have friends and activities.  I am so grateful.

I finally know that I am free and that each day is a vacation.

I will write more daily.

This is a beginning.

Thank you Almighty for caring about me.

I am grateful.