We went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. He refused to order any more than a salad and then told me that he had chest pains, went to the bathroom to throw up, came back to tell me that this was how congestive heart failure began with him. Yesterday, he screamed at me because he had gout. He wouldn't be able to drive me to the periodontist for the appointment. I said fine and of course he did. After the barfing episode, I told him to go home and I would walk home. He didn't. Anything he can do to upset me, he will. But, I behave in a non-judgement, unemotional way. I used to get upset. Now, he's like a television show that I watch.
While I'm grateful that I didn't answer in an emotional way, how much more of this can I take? It's about trying to break me. What to do? A vacation is coming up and he is trying as hard as he can to upset me. If I'm around long enough, he might. As I say this, I know he won't upset me. I just have to realize that this is his game plan and move on. If I mistakenly say anything, this gives him the opportunity to carry on. I don't care enough to speak to him.
I've got Saturday figured out. Possibly Sunday too. I know about the dinner game, so even if he pulls it again, he's screwed. Maybe that's the way to go.....just silence and watchful waiting and moving forward afterwards.
I can do this. I will live in the present. One day at a time. Today, I told him that I won't be in the office. Then, there is the party after work. Then Shabbos which has its own procedure.
I can make this work for me.
Thank you for the gift of intelligence. I'm good with this.
No comments:
Post a Comment