GRATEFUL FOR THE JOY OF LIVING

I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy of living.

Last night, I had a wonderful private yoga lesson with Leslie.  

Then I went home, changed and went to Governor's to watch a friend of mine perform comedy on open-mike night.   I drank and ate and had a wonderful time.  My girlfriend and her husband came also.   It was wonderful.

I brought him along so that I could drink.  I did not evaluate whether he had fun or not.  I thought about me.  I celebrated me.  I was happy for me.

I am thankful to the Almighty for celebrating the joy of living.

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING OF THE ALMIGHTY'S CONSEQUENCES

I am grateful to the Almighty for my day yesterday.

If you remember, I was emotional about the fact that the night before, he went to sleep before I returned home from my class in Spirituality.  It had iced over and he didn't even stay awake to see if I returned home.

But, it was another step in taking care of myself.  I think that this is the Almighty's intention.  It was to teach me that I am resourceful and can take care of myself!!!  Even when the younger one called, she was shocked that I had gone out in bad weather.

Last night we attended a film and Q&A on the Beatles.  There was supposed to be a reception.  I had planned to have dinner at home and not eat later.  He of course, planned to eat everything that wasn't nailed down.  But, it was a misprint and there was no reception.

I was delighted because I didn't want to come up withe a reason as to why I wasn't eating.  He was miserable because there was no food.  I saw this as his punishment for treating me the way he did last night. 

However, he didn't succeed at all.  I never reacted and I'm sure that bothered him.  Last night, I did not take his hand to walk in, I just walked slowly.  I'm proud of myself.

He had seen something about Valentine's Day at Cinema Arts and asked me if we should attend. I just mentioned the possible bad weather forecast in a non-emotional, factual way and it was forgotten.

Th Almighty has taught me to be thoughtful and quiet before I speak.  This is hard for me because I like to chat.  However, I am getting so much better at this.  I am grateful to the Almighty for teaching me and watching over me.  I know that the Almighty will always be a part  of me.

GRATEFUL FOR OVERCOMING CHALLENGES

I am grateful to the Almighty for helping me to overcome challenges.

I took my Spirituality course last night.  Although I had invited him, I realized when I came home that I didn't want him there.  He didn't want to go anyway. It became very easy to un-invite him.  One has to remember that anything that I want to do, he doesn't, so it becomes easy to un-invite.

When I got to the class, I saw that the entire sidewalk had iced over.  What to do???  I waited for the Rabbi and he poured sand over the area and even gave me his hand to take.  He said that this was all right in times of emergency.

I called him when I got inside to tell him what happened.  He listened, but since he didn't know where Chabad was, he could be of no assistance.

I asked a couple to walk me to the car at the end of the course which they did.

When I returned home, I expected him to be up, concerned and waiting for me.  There was no such luck.  He was sound asleep.  I woke him to be able to put my sweater away and that was that.

I was hurt.   I was angry at myself for this feeling, but, I'm only human.   I didn't say anything about it this morning because I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.  I was also annoyed at myself. I realized that I should not be feeling like this and  imagine that it will take time to get over.

I moved on. 

Nothing has really changed.  I didn't expect that it would. 

The challenge was that I did get myself to my course and I am very independent.

Thank you Almighty,  for giving me challenges to overcome and the ability to do so.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATITUDE FOR MY DAY

Thank you, Almighty, for my wonderful day................so far!!!!

It didn't snow and it's going to get warmer!!!

I could drive myself to work!!!!   

Work is good!!

The proctoring wasn't bad at all!!!  I got to read my newspapers and my book.

I'm making tuna for dinner on the George Forman grill.

I have my class tonight!!!  

GRATEFUL FOR A RELAXING SUNDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for a relaxing Sunday!!!!

I was able to walk even though it was cold, in HOME DEPOT.  I took my yoga class which was wonderful.  I put gas in the truck. I read the newspapers, eating breakfast with Dunkin' Donuts coffee.  I went on the computer and read my book.

In the evening, I went to see a film with him and then out to dinner.

I know what to say to him and what not to say.

I am grateful for a wonderful day.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR NEW ADVENTURES

I am grateful to the Almighty for the new adventures in my life.

I went to my first Reiki circle.  I really like it.  I enjoyed the spirituality of the activity.  I will definitely attend another session.

Reiki broke down the day in to principles.  For example:

FOR THIS DAY, I WILL NOT WORRY!

FOR THIS DAY, I WILL NOT GET ANGRY!

FOR THIS DAY, I WILL SHOW GRATITUDE!

FOR THIS DAY, I WILL BE KIND TO OTHERS!

FOR THIS DAY, I WILL BE KIND TO MYSELF!!!

I believe in all of this and that is why it is so amazing that Reiki has this as their principles!


In the evening, I walked at HOME DEPOT. Agin, it was wonderful!!!


Thank you Almighty, for all my new adventures.

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY'S SNOW!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for Shabbos today.  It was the Men's Club and Sisterhood Sabbath  and I really wanted to go.   Unfortunately, it began to snow last night.

I went to services in the snow!!!!  I managed!!!!  I got there and back!!!!  Wow!!  Then I came home to shovel the driveway.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THIS WEEK

I am grateful to the Almighty for the week that I have had.

As is my custom, before Shabbos, I look back on my week and reflect on it.  I look for how I could have made the week better and what I did wrong to encourage him to react.

This was an excellent week.  I know the role that I have to play and I'm doing an excellent job.

On Sunday, I enjoyed my yoga class.  I got a manicure/pedicure and chose a funky new color.  I enjoyed the NETFLIX movie Tin-Tin that I had rented.

On Monday, I enjoyed my Spirituality class at Chabad with Rabbi Lipshitz.  I was grateful that it didn't snow.   It was a holiday, MLK Day, so I got to take Leslie's Level I class. I did well.

On Tuesday, I enjoyed my Restorative Yoga class.

On Wednesday, Leslie cancelled my private lesson and so I asked him to see a film.  Caught off guard, since this had not happened before, he behaved.   I kept the conversation very light and was aware of what I said.

On Thursday, I went to a retirement meeting and to a new restaurant.

Today is Friday.   It's Shabbos.  I can be grateful to the Almighty for watching over me.  Snow is predicted for tomorrow, but I will still attend services.  I may have to ask him to drive me.  I will be fine.  I know how to handle this situation and any other that involves him.


Good Shabbos!!!!

GRATITUDE FOR LAST NIGHT

I am grateful to the Almighty for the very nice evening that I had last night.

I went to a retirement meeting and although I'm not retiring yet, I found out that I had done everything correctly.  I was so proud of myself because I had gotten no help from him through the years.  Any time that I wanted to rake insurance and pay for it by myself or through check-off, he objected and carried on.  I got it anyway.  And I did it right!!!!!!

Then I went out to dinner to a Mexican restaurant and had a wonderful time.

This morning I found that I had even lost weight!!!!!!

I am so grateful to the Almighty for a night like this!!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR PATIENCE TO COME

Unfortunately, there is snow in the forecast and I will need him t take me places over the weekend.


I will have to practice being non-emotional about this or it will lead to issues with him.  Since that is what he lives for, I can't let that happen.

I will need patience and with the help of the Almighty, that will happen.

GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE GOOD IN MY LIFE

Thank you Almighty for all the good that is now in my life!!!!

Yesterday, I threw him a bone, but it was a bone that I wanted.  What in the world does that mean???  I wanted to see ZERO DARK THIRTY and since Leslie cancelled my private yoga lesson, I invited him to go to see a film and have dinner yesterday.   I was very proud of myself because I didn't make more of it than it was.  It was a film and dinner.  I did not have regrets about what was not.  I did not look at clothing.  I did not look at the tip.  I focused on what I wanted to do. I have really changed!!!!!

Today, I am going to a retirement meeting to get information and dinner with a friend.

I am so grateful to have activities daily that I enjoy.

I am grateful for the quiet that I have in my life.

I am grateful that I know when to speak and when to be quiet.  This one is difficult because I have such issues with him, but it needs t be controlled because it will never be resolved.

I am grateful that although it is freezing outside, it has not snowed.  Therefore I am not connected to him more than I need to be by having him drive me anywhere.

I am so grateful to the Almighty for the good in my life!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR HAPPINESS

It is freezing outside.  I am so cold.  But, inside I am smiling.  I am so grateful to the Almighty for my happiness.

Last night, I went to a Restorative Yoga class.  It was warm in the room and the poses were wonderful.  I put my mat down next to a friend of mine and had an incredibly wonderful hour.

I came home to read my library book for my next book discussion in the library.  It's non-fiction and I'm finding it fascinating.

I watched the season finale of my favorite television show, PARENTHOOD.  It was excellent.


My private yoga lesson was cancelled and I made a plan with him to go to see a film and have dinner out.  I left the decision up to him as to what we do since it is bitter cold outside.  He tried to have me make the decision, but I'm wiser than that.  He realizes that he no longer can blame me for his mistakes because I do not react.

I feel calm and quiet inside myself.  My weight is gong back to normal because I am happy and in control.   I know that with him, it could change at any moment, but the joy of my happiness is that I am prepared for anything.

I am so grateful to the Almighty for feeling happy.

GRATEFUL FOR RESTORATIVE YOGA

Thank you Almighty, for RESTORATIVE YOGA!!!!

It's Tuesday!   It's my wonderful Restorative Yoga class.  It's freezing, but who cares??  

It's Yoga time!!!!!

Thank you Almighty for the abundance of wonderful things that make up my world!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR ABUNDANCE

Thank you Almighty for the abundance in my life. 

This is a different life, a life that I would not have visualized years ago.  In many ways, it is a better life.  I do things that I enjoy and I NEVER hear the word, "NO."

My course on Spirituality was wonderful last night.

I enjoyed the NETFLIX film that I rented.

I made a delicious dinner.

My book, for the next book club is interesting.

Today, I drove MYSELF to work, in the ice and walked in with someone.

I am grateful for my new life and the abundance in it.

GRATEFUL FOR PEACE

I am grateful to the Almighty for the peaceful day that he has given me.  It is my intention or New Year's Resolution to have peace every day in my life from this time forward.

I slept later this morning because it was MLK Day.  I don't know if I had a cold or not, but, I was blowing my nose a lot during the night.   I awoke later than usual.

I had decided to walk only an hour because that is what I do on Mondays.  So, off I went in the cold, all bundled up.  However, this was different!!!  It was peaceful!!!  It was quiet.  I had no other thoughts because I want to enjoy the moment.  I did.   It was silent outside.  It was cold. It was dreary, but, I found it to be beautiful because it was so still.   I had no strategies to plan.  I know what to do.  

I have opened my heart to all possibilities and because of this, I have changed my world.

Because of this, I could embrace the stillness.  I could see the formation of Canadian geese going by.  I could look at airplanes soaring above.  Instead of being envious as to where people were going, I could embrace the abundance of my life.  I stopped to listen to 2 squirrels arguing in a tree.


I then went to yoga.  I took a Level 1 class and embraced what I could do, not what I could not do.

I am grateful to the Almighty for teaching me how to experience peace !!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE ABUNDANCE IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for the abundance of wonderful things that I have in my life.

I did not realize this until yesterday when I attended the Restorative Yoga Workshop.  When I think of all the wonderful activities in my life I feel very blessed.

This morning I walked on a cold, windy January day for 2 hours.  The sky was so blue that it was amazing and very spiritual.   I was so grateful for this.  As I learned yesterday, gratitude nourishes the soul.

Perhaps, this is why I am so calm.   After walking I went to my yoga and made plans with Doreen, my yoga teacher to have dinner on Wednesday.

I am going to get a manicure/pedicure now.  I will be taking with my a book to read for one of my next book discussions.

I am free to follow my own path, and this has made me calm and cool.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the abundance in my life.  I know that this was a hard road that I traveled alone and I am so grateful to be on this path.

GRATEFUL FOR HAPPINESS

Thank you Almighty for a wonderful Shabbos!!!  I truly enjoyed going to services and connecting to my "synagogue buddies" at the kiddush.

Walking was awesome.  I looked up and saw a beautiful blue sky in January!!!

The Restorative Yoga workshop was very spiritual.  I heard something that I will remember. When you truly love yourself, the road that you are going is the right one.

Thank you, Almighty for a wonderful day.   I am learning to look at the abundance of wonderful things that I do in my life and learning to love my life.  I am happy.

It does take time to give up the old dreams, but if this is an example of a new day,  then I am truly blessed.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR SHABBOS

I am grateful to the Almighty for Shabbos.

Candle lighting and my dinner were wonderful.

I have so learned to deal with nonsensical conversation by agreeing with it or contradicting what I say.

No one can upset me.

Good Shabbos!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR EVERYDAY CHORES

As I was driving to my Curriculum Committee meeting this morning I was looking at the cloud formations and thinking how amazing they were.   This is a form of meditation that I learned about in a class that I took.  I was so grateful that my mind could do this as it showed how really relaxed I am.

I realized that I was enjoying all of my little chores.   I was always creating strategies for how to deal with him.  That took time away from appreciating my own life.  Now that I have moved forward, I'm relaxed and can appreciate everything that I do.

I can even stay home, if I choose and read, because I have no fear of him.  Not responding to his anger has become second nature for me.

As I approach the MLK weekend, which I am delighted to say is 3 days long, I find myself looking forward to it.  I have planned activities for myself and should he try and destroy my happiness, he will fail because I so don't care.

Life has become a vacation and I thank the Almighty for this.

THANK YOU ALMIGHTY FOR A LOVELY EVENING

I had a lovely evening tonight and I wanted to thank the Almighty for it.   

I stayed at work to walk as usual and then went to do some errands.   I arrived home and did my chores there quietly.  I love the quiet of my house.   I made dinner.   Now I'm going to relax and read a chapter of my book.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the peace and quiet.

GRATEFUL FOR THIS MOMENT AND THOSE TO COME

I finally understand.  I am grateful to the Almighty for this moment, this moment of peace, quiet and joy.  I have joy, I have energy, I will have a good day.  This is my mantra.

I will not look back.  I am not going there.  I am here.  I am going towards the future, my future alone which no one can mess with.

I was unhappy yesterday.  Then I realized that I was looking back and I realized not only that I'm not going in that direction, but I don't want to go there.

Except for occasional days that I created for myself, there are no happy memories of parents, husband or children.  I have all these things because this is what the world said that you needed at that time.  I survived the abusive parents.  I survived the abusive husband.  I survived the rotten children.  I even survived July 31. July 31 was put there for a reason.  I believe that the Almighty was frustrated with my inability to "see."

I survived because of my faith in the Almighty and my own spirit.  I have accomplished a lot for me and I'm happy.

I will not look back again because I'm not going that way.

I will thank the Almighty for putting his arm around me and protecting me so that I could have a wonderful career, friends and fun things to do.

Thank you, Almighty for helping me to reach this moment in time.

I am moving forward from this moment.

GRATITUDE FOR YOGA AND A QUIET NIGHT

Thank you Almighty for a wonderful private lesson with Leslie and a quiet night filled with a wonderful book!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY ACTIVITIES

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the fun activities that I attend.

Last night, I went to a book club discussion at the library.  It was a wonderful discussion and what made it so good was that only myself and the librarian liked the book which was called, THE WIDOWERS TALE.

I am grateful to you Almighty for knowing how to be political.  I invited him to have dinner with me last night before the book club for a number of reasons.  The first one being that I wanted a glasses or two of wine.  I wanted him to pay for dinner.  I also wanted to do something with him so that he couldn't say that I do nothing with him.   I accomplished my goals.

You had to hear him call me, "sweetheart!!"  I guess he doesn't realize what I think of him.   Am I that good of an actress???   I don't think so.  He must think me a fool!!!   Truthfully, for the many years that I thought that he would change because he loved me, I probably was a fool.  But, I'm done with that.

Sometimes, in the early morning, my dreams come back to me and I get a bit sad.  However, I remember that looking at the past can only depress you while looking ahead can make one anxious.   I remind myself to stay grounded in the present.

I would have taken off today because it is the yoga book club.  However, it's a dreary day and I realized that I would be indoors a lot with him.  There are only so many hours that I can stand to be around him, so I opted for work.  Good decision!!!!!

I do have a private yoga lesson later.  I am wearing yoga clothes to work.  It's the best of all possible worlds!!!

Thank you, Almighty for my activities and for being there for me always!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW COURSE

Thank you Almighty for my new course at Chabad in Practicality and Spirituality.

I am enjoying the readings as well as the discussions.  Last night when we talked about how the Almighty should be a part of everything that you do and that is exactly how I feel as I pray to you almost hourly and thank you always for watching over me and protecting me.

GRATEFUL FOR KNOWING HOW TO DEAL

I am so grateful to the Almighty for knowing EXACTLY how to deal with him.  He tried to start an argument today and I didn't take the bait.

I used my quiet little voice not to respond.

You could see the hint of a smile as he kept trying.

But, he failed.

How sad!!!

I was delighted with this.  I told him that I choose not to answer, not to waste my time........but that I am not afraid!!!!

I was delighted with myself.

It's off to Chabad for my class!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR AVOIDING WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN AN ISSUE

I am grateful to the Almighty for handling what could have been an issue correctly.

I spoke to my younger daughter yesterday, inviting her to come to Great Books in June.  She told me that she was taking the day off as she had injured her back and wanted to know why I hadn't called.   She said that she told her father.

I explained that he doesn't give me information because he would like people to be angry with me.  He overheard and became enraged.  I never raised my voice.   He couldn't create an issue.

This morning he wanted an apology for the so called accusation.  I apologized.   Again this enraged him because he couldn't create an issue.

When I was downstairs, I said that I should get an apology because I should get privacy when I speak.  It took a while, but he apologized and I was off to work.   Again he couldn't create an issue.

I had asked him to mail 2 letters.  I did it myself.  Why start?

Again, there was no issue and off I went to work.

He's not done, but I'm aware of him.

How sad for him!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE RELAXED SUNDAY

I am so grateful to the Almighty for the relaxed day that I had on Sunday.

I walked for 2 hours and then went to my yoga class.  I made plans with my yoga instructor to go to dinner this coming Thursday night.

I came home and read the newspapers drinking my favorite, Dunkin' Donuts coffee.  I went on the computer.  I paid taxes and signed up for Great Books Long Island.  I'm going to read Dr. Zhivago!!!!  My older daughter wants to go with me.

Then I lit mood candles, put on yoga music and I read my new book for the Sisterhood Book Club.

I texted friends.

I made tofu and veggies for dinner.

It was a wonderful day!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A SUCCESSFUL DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for making this day a success. 

I am a lot calmer knowing that I don't have to speak.   I wanted to see if I could be home for an afternoon without planning anything and with minimal conversation.

I achieved all three.  I was calm.  I stayed home all afternoon.  There was minimal conversation.  I even made tofu for dinner.  I got to read, listen to yoga music and light my scented candles.

He complained and I listened.  I didn't speak.  He complained that he was bored.  I asked why he didn't make a plan.  He said, and this is very telling about the nature of our poor relationship, that I made the plan and he complained.  I listened.  

He said that next week we would go out east.  Didn't I hear that last week??  He said that he might call a broker.  I listened.

It is bothering him that other people will inherit his money.

I found this to be a most successful day.

The key is just not to answer his bantering and I've got it!!!!

GRATITUDE FOR UNDERSTANDING

I am grateful to the Almighty for allowing me to be quiet and observe so that I can make informed decisions.

He had said that he wanted to go out east to look for a condo.  As I observed the week, I noticed that no plans were made and no broker was called.

I went ahead quietly with my regular plans for the day.  I wanted a quiet day because I wanted to read.

Surprise!!!  That is exactly what I got.  

I run around all week.  I enjoy this quiet time filled with computer, reading and yoga music.

Namaste!!!!

GRATITUDE FOR LETTING GO WHAT DOESN'T SERVE YOU

I am grateful to the Almighty that I re-acquainted myself with the yoga concept of getting rid of what doesn't serve you.

I had almost forgotten this idea.  I woke up in a really bad mood because my older one has told me that she wants us to meet her boyfriends parents.  I pushed it until after Passover, but, it's still coming.  I thought of all the work that I had done with her and what a waste it was.  I thought of him and how he demeaned all that I did and consequently these girls took after him.

I was really in a funk this morning.  I couldn't get it out of my mind even while I was walking. However, then I went to yoga. 

Does this serve me?  The answer is, "No."  Can I do anymore than I have done?  Again the answer was, "No!"  

Therefore, the time has come for me to get rid of what doesn't serve me.   I am not responsible for the choices that they made and the way they turned out.  It is my time now and I am enjoying it. 

I have gotten rid of what doesn't serve me.

Thank you Almighty for allowing me to go to yoga to hear this!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR SABBATH SERVICES

Sabbath morning services were wonderful today.  I especially enjoy how spiritual they are and how wonderful they make me feel.

Where is my beautiful Spring-like day?????

Be that as it may, I took a wonderful walk.   It was so quiet outside that I would have to say that it was spiritual in nature.   And no, the sun never came out, but is was warm.  In the end, the walk was wonderful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR INSIGHT

Thank you Almighty for my developing insight.

Last night, he and I went to Cinema Arts to see a film entitled, Let My People Go!!!  The director was there for a Q & A and there was a reception afterwards.   It was a wonderful foreign film and I laughed my head off.   I haven't laughed in a long time.

I was so happy that I ate and drank the cheese, crackers, cookies and wine and gained weight this morning, although I still weigh less than I should, but only by 2 pounds.

He wasn't very happy at the reception.  He blamed my comment about having to do the bathroom again because he hadn't cleaned it well the day before.  He did not get a response from me because there was no need for one.  Remember, this is the new me.  I could see that he wasn't very happy.

I remember how he told me that his goal in life was to make me unhappy.  These are his words.  He said that he isn't a happy person and it would make him happy to upset me.

I had written a shopping list and I wanted to know if we were going out to dinner/movie on Saturday.  He is not happy making these decisions because then he only has himself to blame.  He has verbalized this to me.  I already knew the answer and didn't care.  That's why I could eat all those things at the reception.

He said that we should eat at home because he didn't want to be rushed.  I agreed. I told you that I knew this already.    This also didn't sit well with him.

He is a keeper of money.  He has no joy in its spending.  I like to enjoy and spend.  With this in mind, I asked if, with the Spring like weather, we were going out east to look for another condo since he hates the one we have.

I already knew the answer and had made plans for myself.   He said that he didn't think so because he hadn't gotten the check yet.  Again, I disappointed him by agreeing.  This wasn't what he wanted to do.  However, I had already realized, a few days ago,  that he never called a broker to set anything up.  I was gong to walk, do yoga, possibly go to Weight Watchers and relax.  I never told him this, but, since I knew his decision beforehand, I had another plan.

It is my quiet insight that has allowed me to study him and respond quietly in an appropriate manner.   Even when he criticizes me, I let it fall flat.  It's not worth it.   He's not worth it.


Thank you, Almighty for this insight.  It took a long while, but, better late than never.

GRATEFUL FOR TEXTING

I am grateful to the Almighty that I learned how to text.

I used it against the older one last night.  I had, in order to cover myself, when the younger one barged in on my birthday, invited the older one to a yoga workshop.

Last night, I discovered that the date of this workshop was SUPER BOWL SUNDAY. 

I who never watch the SUPER BOWL had to cancel.

Oh well!!!  Did I get to sleep over at her apartment?  Did we go to the Museum of Moving Images?  That's how we got to the yoga workshop.  We are though left with the ability to send websites.

Thank you Almighty for texting!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW VOICE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new voice.  

It appears that he is trying to test me again.

He did a really poor job cleaning yesterday.  I cleaned what he didn't do when I came home from the book club.

Yet, here was my concern.  I needed to mention it to him or it would appear that I either didn't care or that I was afraid of him.  I knew that he was looking for a confrontation.  

What to do????

I slept on it and this morning I told him in a little quiet voice that I had completed the cleaning job.  I said that I understood that he was very busy yesterday watching our trees being cut down due to HURRICANE SANDY.   

He was ready for a confrontation and I was ready NOT to let that happen.

He failed and I succeeded!!!

Thank you Almighty for my new, quiet, phony voice!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL DAY!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful day that I had yesterday.

I learned to do some new things on the computer at work.

I had a really good private yoga lesson.  I am learning to explore what my body can do.  Then I went out to dinner with friends.  We went out for Greek food at Shish Kabab and it was delicious. From there, we all went to the Sisterhood Book Club that I really enjoyed.

Thank you Almighty for a wonderful day.

GRATITUDE FOR A FUN LIFE

I am thankful to the Almighty for all the new and exciting things that I am doing.  I hope and pray to Gd that I will continue to have fun for many years.

Yesterday, I picked up my funky new glasses.  After dinner, I went to a wonderful Restorative Yoga Class and then saw the Health Care Players at a Sisterhood meeting where I sat with friends.

Today, I have a private yoga lesson.  Then I'm meeting friends for dinner and going with them to the Sisterhood Book Club.

All the while, he tries to engage me in some sort of confrontation which I don't answer because I know where it will lead.

Thank you Almighty for my fun life.

GRATEFUL FOR SILENT INTELLIGENCE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my silent intelligence.

What this means is that I no longer can be taken in by his acting.  Because I am silent and I listen, I study what he does.  I then make no comment because there isn't anything to say.

For example, last night when he told me he is sorry for all the bad he has done to me, I didn't respond. There was nothing to say.  So, his strategy falls flat.  Had I responded, he would have been able to argue and we would be off and running.

On a lighter side, I started a course last night at Chabad called Spirituality and loved it!!!!!!

Tonight is yoga and a Sisterhood meeting.

Parenthood is on.

Life goes on.

Thank you Almighty for Silent Intelligence.

GRATEFUL FOR PRIDE IN MYSELF

I am so proud of myself and I owe it to the Almighty watching over me!!!!

I had a wonderful weekend.  I planned fun things to do!!  I walked, went to yoga, finished my book and started another.  I even got to Weight Watchers!!!  My hair looks great because I was able to read my magazines and discovered new products to purchase!!!

I even got to see a film that I had wanted to see and did NOT have to go to dinner with him.

I was able to deal with any issue that came along.  Yesterday, the younger one, who had been schooled by him in pitting two people against each other tried to start an issue about me. She said, and this was a lie, that the older one was upset that she did not have a day with me. To be honest, another day, like TRADER JOE'S and salad, I don't need.   I spoke to her in a quiet tone and moved on!!!!!!    He tried to show me condos on the East End.  I told him that I would love to see them when I was out there.  I said this in a quiet voice.  

Tonight, I start a Spirituality Course at Chabad!!!  I'm excited.

I'm proud of myself.

I have the Almighty to thank for this!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING AWARE OF THE WORLD AROUND ME

It took a long time for me to be aware of the world around me.  I am grateful to the Almighty that this has happened because it makes my life so much easier.

I listen carefully to what people say.  I used to interrupt and answer a question quickly or make a comment.  Now, with those that I don't trust, I am cautious and careful.  I listen to what it said and if it doesn't require an answer, I say nothing.  Just yesterday, he again apologized for "all that he had done to me through the years."  Naturally, this apology was in the car.  If I had answered, an argument would have begun and we would be off and running.  I listened and then said something that had nothing to do with the topic.    Today, the younger one called.  After that idiotic birthday where she forced her way in under false pretenses of seeing, THE HOBBIT and going for Japanese food, and then was 2 hours late, didn't want to see the movie and had us go to TRADER JOE'S and a salad place, I said that I wasn't home.  She proceeded to tell her father that the older one was annoyed because I wouldn't let her come.  I have been in
touch with the older one and this isn't true.   It was not necessary to give an explanation.

I also orchestrated not going out to dinner with him and seeing the movie that I wanted to.

I'm learning!!!!

Thank you Almighty for making me aware of the world!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH

Thank you Almighty for a wonderful synagogue experience with friends.  I love going to services and saying prayers on Shabbos morning.

Please continue to watch over me!!!!

GRATITUDE FOR INNER JOY

I found myself singing this morning.  I haven't done that in a long time.  I realized that I am 
joyful because my life is working out.  I am happy with the activities that I do.  I am happy doing things without him because he is only a negative force in my life.  Less is more. I am happy speaking with him less.  Less is more.  I agree to all his schemes because then I know that I won't have to do them 

Last night I went to dinner with a friend and had a wonderful time.

I know I control who I am and what I do. NO ONE CAN UPSET THAT.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this inner joy.  

I know that he will continue to protect me as I go through life.

Good Shabbos!!!

GRATITUDE FOR CLARITY OF MIND

I am grateful to the Almighty for my clarity of mind.  My life is totally about me.  I make decisions that are healthy for me.  I'm quiet at home and I do not allow negative conversation to control me.  I always have something fun and healthy to do.

I'm beginning to reap the benefits of all of this.  My mind is clear and sharp.  I am not thinking about the past.  I am not creating survival strategies.

I'm flowing with life.  My life.  My decisions.  No one else is controlling me.  Its a very powerful feeling .  

It allows me to appreciate every aspect of my life.  I am in charge of my own destiny.  I come first.


I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR MY VACATION

Thank you so much, Almighty for the independence that I showed during my vacation.

It was due to you that I did things by my self and enjoyed everyone of them.  I recognized that this was my life and valued everything that I did.  I did some things with him but did not count on him to be decent.  I knew that I could cope if he wasn't.

I am grateful for my growing strength as I continue on this journey of exploration, this journey of life.

I came back to work so relaxed.  I knew that it was because of the things that I did for myself that gave me satisfaction.

Thank you Almighty for helping me to continue to grow and develop.

GRATEFUL FOR THE CHOICE OF PEACE and QUIET

I am grateful to the Almighty for helping me to understand that the choices that I make in my daily life will affect my life.

I have chosen peace.  It is my intention that no one will be able to upset me. I know that some people will try very hard to annoy me.  I know that some people will try to confront me.  I know that there are people who will raise false accusations.   I know that some of them are self-centered, but I choose not to react.  That is my choice.  I will use my calm and quiet little voice to deal with these people.

I choose peace for myself.  It is peace without an explanation.  It is just because I value a calm and quiet life.