GRATEFUL FOR INSIGHT

Thank you Almighty for my developing insight.

Last night, he and I went to Cinema Arts to see a film entitled, Let My People Go!!!  The director was there for a Q & A and there was a reception afterwards.   It was a wonderful foreign film and I laughed my head off.   I haven't laughed in a long time.

I was so happy that I ate and drank the cheese, crackers, cookies and wine and gained weight this morning, although I still weigh less than I should, but only by 2 pounds.

He wasn't very happy at the reception.  He blamed my comment about having to do the bathroom again because he hadn't cleaned it well the day before.  He did not get a response from me because there was no need for one.  Remember, this is the new me.  I could see that he wasn't very happy.

I remember how he told me that his goal in life was to make me unhappy.  These are his words.  He said that he isn't a happy person and it would make him happy to upset me.

I had written a shopping list and I wanted to know if we were going out to dinner/movie on Saturday.  He is not happy making these decisions because then he only has himself to blame.  He has verbalized this to me.  I already knew the answer and didn't care.  That's why I could eat all those things at the reception.

He said that we should eat at home because he didn't want to be rushed.  I agreed. I told you that I knew this already.    This also didn't sit well with him.

He is a keeper of money.  He has no joy in its spending.  I like to enjoy and spend.  With this in mind, I asked if, with the Spring like weather, we were going out east to look for another condo since he hates the one we have.

I already knew the answer and had made plans for myself.   He said that he didn't think so because he hadn't gotten the check yet.  Again, I disappointed him by agreeing.  This wasn't what he wanted to do.  However, I had already realized, a few days ago,  that he never called a broker to set anything up.  I was gong to walk, do yoga, possibly go to Weight Watchers and relax.  I never told him this, but, since I knew his decision beforehand, I had another plan.

It is my quiet insight that has allowed me to study him and respond quietly in an appropriate manner.   Even when he criticizes me, I let it fall flat.  It's not worth it.   He's not worth it.


Thank you, Almighty for this insight.  It took a long while, but, better late than never.