GRATITUDE FOR INTELLIGENCE

I am so grateful to the Almighty that I am intelligent.

It was that intelligence that kept me afloat growing up.  It enabled me to do well in school.  It enabled me to structure my summers to keep myself busy.  It enabled me to get little part time jobs to make a few dollars.  These parents NEVER gave me money and shopping was over once I stopped growing.  Intelligence helped me to escape their abuse.

This intelligence allowed me to create a wonderful fulfilling career for myself.   It made me understand that it the school career that has kept me afloat.

It is amazing how I was treated growing up.  As I think about it now, there were so many mixed messages....I LOVE YOU,  I HATE YOU.  YOU ARE GOOD, YOU ARE BAD and so on.  It's a wonder I achieved as much as I did.

It was the Almighty that kept me afloat.

I married a man just like my parents who was jealous of me and gave me the same mixed messages. However, I kept myself afloat.  Work, courses and activities took me out of the house and gave me a life.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

Last night, we went out and he professed all sorts of love and all sorts of apologies.  I kept myself non-emotional and I was very proud of myself.  I didn't believe a word of it.  I also didn't react.  That was a major accomplishment.

Using my intelligence to keep quiet has also saved me.  He is reading that book that a patient of the older one's wrote thanking her for helping her to get over a psychological experience.  I think back to that fateful day when she sent him that website on Borderline Personality Disorder to help him to deal with me.  How do you diagnose someone over the phone.  By sending him the website, she chose sides.  It made it easy to be done with her.  Since one can't do that with family, I play a very elaborate game.   I won't read the book because I think that she must be a terrible therapist.  However, I pretend in a non-emotional way, to have read it.  I don't talk to her because I don't want to hear her voice.  Texting works fine......

This is how I use my intelligence with this group.

Since July 31st, I have kept myself safe and have succeeded in being non-emotional with them. They are so arrogant that they haven't a clue.  

It works for me.

Thank you Almighty for giving me the intelligence to figure this out.