I am grateful to the Almighty for everything that HE has done for me this year and I hope that I will continue to grow and be healthy in the years to come.
I walked this morning for my usual two hours on a blustery cold day where the temperatures were in the 20's. I looked at the stillness of the world and thought that it was beautiful. I thought back to the year ad was proud of all my successes. I truly have become an INDEPENDENT woman. This year, my word is AUTHENTIC. I will begin to recognize, as I peel the layers away, who the real person is and be very proud of how she worked, strived, plotted, strategized, cried, forged on to accomplish all that she does.
I have learned, through yoga, to love myself deeply. I realize that life is a timeline and I don't go down roads that are not safe for me. I am quiet and as a result of that, I do so many things that I truly enjoy.
I feel safe. I can cope with those around me and therefore, I definitely can retire and move on to the next chapter of my life. It took a long time, but I'm ready.
I have let go of the thoughts, feelings, and people that haven't served me so that I can heal. I know how to be very political so no one is wiser for it.
We will not be going out tonight, NEW YEARS EVE. It isn't necessary. Tomorrow I have a NEW YEARS DAY YOGA CLASS and then brunch. That is a much better idea!!!!!
Today, I went on a variety of errands.
I plan to start my new book for the SYOSSET BOOK CLUB.
Thank you, Almighty for all that you have done for me. I hope and pray that you will continue to watch over me.
Later: The book is wonderful!!!! I made a delicious black and blue tuna. I'm going to read more, take a shower and off to bed.
Happy New Year!!!! I'm so proud of me, I could cry!!!!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR LOOKING AHEAD TO THE FUTURE
I am grateful to the Almighty because I find myself looking ahead to the future with a smile. That has not happened in a very long time.
I walked for two hours on a cold and chilly December morning.
Then I took Leslie's Level 1 Yoga class. Just like last year, she told us not to make New Year Resolutions because that showed what you were not capable of doing. She spoke about choosing a word that you could work on throughout the year.
I chose the word AUTHENTIC!!!! This is who I am. As Leslie said, when you peel away the layers, this is who you are. One is to think of their word in the morning and the last thing that they do before they go to sleep.
I had breakfast with him and again it was a pleasant experience. I told him that I probably will retire in June. It's time. I have no fears. I know exactly how to handle myself in the face of his adversity.
It was then off to the cleaning store. Then I went to purchase new towels. My aim is to redo the linen closet tomorrow. I also went to the library.
At home, I drank DD and read the newspapers. The mail was looked at. The puppy is going to the doctor shortly as he has a rash that I would like looked at.
This evening, I will make dinner and finish my book for the Yoga Book Club.
UPDATE- The puppy went to the doctor and yes, he does have a rash and received medication for it, He also has an ear infection and the doctor put a patch in his ear and he has to go back on Monday, January 6th. I am proud to say that I completed my linen closet project. I also finished my book for the yoga book club.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I am looking to the future.
I walked for two hours on a cold and chilly December morning.
Then I took Leslie's Level 1 Yoga class. Just like last year, she told us not to make New Year Resolutions because that showed what you were not capable of doing. She spoke about choosing a word that you could work on throughout the year.
I chose the word AUTHENTIC!!!! This is who I am. As Leslie said, when you peel away the layers, this is who you are. One is to think of their word in the morning and the last thing that they do before they go to sleep.
I had breakfast with him and again it was a pleasant experience. I told him that I probably will retire in June. It's time. I have no fears. I know exactly how to handle myself in the face of his adversity.
It was then off to the cleaning store. Then I went to purchase new towels. My aim is to redo the linen closet tomorrow. I also went to the library.
At home, I drank DD and read the newspapers. The mail was looked at. The puppy is going to the doctor shortly as he has a rash that I would like looked at.
This evening, I will make dinner and finish my book for the Yoga Book Club.
UPDATE- The puppy went to the doctor and yes, he does have a rash and received medication for it, He also has an ear infection and the doctor put a patch in his ear and he has to go back on Monday, January 6th. I am proud to say that I completed my linen closet project. I also finished my book for the yoga book club.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I am looking to the future.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR BEING...............
I am grateful to the Almighty and that can be summed up with these two words, TO BE.
I am grateful to be healthy, happy, calm and to be looking forward to my life.
This morning, I walked for an hour before my new yoga class. I am now in LEVEL ONE. I went to Fresh Produce for huge grapefruits and apples and then to DD.
I realized that I could walk for my second hour as it was not raining heavily and I did just that. I was so proud of me. The clothes went in to the dryer. At the end of the walk, the rain was heavy.
I read my two newspapers and now I am on the computer.
The plan is to shower after this and then to go see yet, another wonderful film. Dinner will be at a restaurant.
I am calm, cool and collected with him. Nothing rattles me.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I have learned, TO BE.
I am grateful to be healthy, happy, calm and to be looking forward to my life.
This morning, I walked for an hour before my new yoga class. I am now in LEVEL ONE. I went to Fresh Produce for huge grapefruits and apples and then to DD.
I realized that I could walk for my second hour as it was not raining heavily and I did just that. I was so proud of me. The clothes went in to the dryer. At the end of the walk, the rain was heavy.
I read my two newspapers and now I am on the computer.
The plan is to shower after this and then to go see yet, another wonderful film. Dinner will be at a restaurant.
I am calm, cool and collected with him. Nothing rattles me.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I have learned, TO BE.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!
I am grateful to the Almighty because I reached my birthday with good health.
I am truly happy with the life that I have created with the Almighty's help. It took a long time, but I did it.
I am strong. I am capable. I am calm, cool and collected!!!
Synagogue services were a joy! Everyone came over to wish me a happy birthday.
I received a beautiful ring from him.
I'm going to take a walk. The weather is beautiful.
I will come back to read.
Tonight we are going to see a film.
I am so happy with my new life.
Thank you, Almighty. It is truly a birth-day for me.
I am truly happy with the life that I have created with the Almighty's help. It took a long time, but I did it.
I am strong. I am capable. I am calm, cool and collected!!!
Synagogue services were a joy! Everyone came over to wish me a happy birthday.
I received a beautiful ring from him.
I'm going to take a walk. The weather is beautiful.
I will come back to read.
Tonight we are going to see a film.
I am so happy with my new life.
Thank you, Almighty. It is truly a birth-day for me.
Friday, December 27, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH
I am grateful to the Almighty for the Sabbath.
Obviously, I'm not as tired as in a week where I work. However, I love the preparation, the stillness and calmness that comes with this day of rest.
I was very busy today. I divided my two hour walk into two parts because in between I went to not one, but two yoga classes. I attended my restorative class and a Level 1 class taught by Leslie. I am no longer a beginner!!!!!
It was off to the cleaning store, and DD. I read both newspapers. I made myself chicken for dinner. I paid bills and went on the computer. I texted friends.
I've received a lot of birthday wishes from friends. Tomorrow is December 28th.
I'm going to straighten my closet now. Since he was in a regretful mood last night, he bought me a new coat and took me out for a lovely dinner.
One just has to know how to be quiet around him OR one can be off and running. I think that I can do that and not be taken in by all that he says.
Good Shabbos!!!
Thank you, Almighty for the Sabbath.
Obviously, I'm not as tired as in a week where I work. However, I love the preparation, the stillness and calmness that comes with this day of rest.
I was very busy today. I divided my two hour walk into two parts because in between I went to not one, but two yoga classes. I attended my restorative class and a Level 1 class taught by Leslie. I am no longer a beginner!!!!!
It was off to the cleaning store, and DD. I read both newspapers. I made myself chicken for dinner. I paid bills and went on the computer. I texted friends.
I've received a lot of birthday wishes from friends. Tomorrow is December 28th.
I'm going to straighten my closet now. Since he was in a regretful mood last night, he bought me a new coat and took me out for a lovely dinner.
One just has to know how to be quiet around him OR one can be off and running. I think that I can do that and not be taken in by all that he says.
Good Shabbos!!!
Thank you, Almighty for the Sabbath.
GRATEFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING WHAT A REAL SOCIOPATH IS AND HOW TO HANDLE ONE
I am grateful to the Almighty because I understand what a sociopath is and I know how to handle one.
Last night, we went to the mall as I had shopping to do. He decided to tell me how he loved me and how grateful he was for all that I had done for him. He remembered how we walked the mall after he was diagnosed with CHF. In the past, I would have believed that he meant all this. I would have adapted strategies to work with him.
Now, it's different. I listened respectfully knowing that he didn't mean a word of this. I started to remember other things that he has said through the years, all of them lies and all of them entrapping me.
I decided not to go down that road and that has given me so much more time to enjoy my life.
Thank you, Almighty for granting me the wisdom to understand and move forward.
Last night, we went to the mall as I had shopping to do. He decided to tell me how he loved me and how grateful he was for all that I had done for him. He remembered how we walked the mall after he was diagnosed with CHF. In the past, I would have believed that he meant all this. I would have adapted strategies to work with him.
Now, it's different. I listened respectfully knowing that he didn't mean a word of this. I started to remember other things that he has said through the years, all of them lies and all of them entrapping me.
I decided not to go down that road and that has given me so much more time to enjoy my life.
Thank you, Almighty for granting me the wisdom to understand and move forward.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY HEALTH
I am grateful to the Almighty for the good health He has given me.
I read an article in The NY Times about how seniors should NOT, if they have heart conditions, do exercise in the cold weather.
I am grateful that my checkup was a good one. This morning, it was freezing outside. The temperature was 29 degrees. I walked for 2 hours. The only difference was that I wore double gloves.
He makes his two phone calls in the morning and I'm grateful because I'm very disinterested in both. That was a long time in coming.
I came home and took my doggie to get DD and he got a munchkin. I came home to breakfast and the newspapers.
I am on computer now as I text friends.
Today, I'm going with him to the mall. I want to look for another Laundry Coat, a Michael Kors pocketbook and wallet.
We are having dinner out and taking a break from films.
I am grateful to the Almighty for my good health and that I am looking to the future.
I read an article in The NY Times about how seniors should NOT, if they have heart conditions, do exercise in the cold weather.
I am grateful that my checkup was a good one. This morning, it was freezing outside. The temperature was 29 degrees. I walked for 2 hours. The only difference was that I wore double gloves.
He makes his two phone calls in the morning and I'm grateful because I'm very disinterested in both. That was a long time in coming.
I came home and took my doggie to get DD and he got a munchkin. I came home to breakfast and the newspapers.
I am on computer now as I text friends.
Today, I'm going with him to the mall. I want to look for another Laundry Coat, a Michael Kors pocketbook and wallet.
We are having dinner out and taking a break from films.
I am grateful to the Almighty for my good health and that I am looking to the future.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY HAPPINESS
I am grateful to the Almighty for the happiness in my life.
I am a new person and as such I am applying all of the things that I learned in yoga to my every day life.
I walked this morning for 2 hours. The day was absolutely freezing. I had to break the walk up into two parts. I walked an hour. Then I went to a wonderful CHRISTMAS YOGA CLASS taught by Leslie. She spoke of making the intention to keep the holiday feelings, in my case, happiness, all year long. The poses were challenging and I thought that I did very well.
I came home to complete the second hour of my walk in freezing cold.
I purchased DD and read THE NEW YORK TIMES.
I received a voice mail and a text from the Triad. I will answer but in a timely fashion.
We did watch a film last night and will be going to see the sequel this afternoon. I find that films take the place of conversation with him. Tonight I will be able to read.
Later: Today was a huge success. I loved the sequel to THE HUNGER GAMES. I cam home to make tofu for dinner, (which I wanted). I did not answer any nasty comments. I let them float away, as yoga would say, "on a cloud." I'm getting really good at this.
I am very happy with my life and grateful to the Almighty for my happiness.
I am a new person and as such I am applying all of the things that I learned in yoga to my every day life.
I walked this morning for 2 hours. The day was absolutely freezing. I had to break the walk up into two parts. I walked an hour. Then I went to a wonderful CHRISTMAS YOGA CLASS taught by Leslie. She spoke of making the intention to keep the holiday feelings, in my case, happiness, all year long. The poses were challenging and I thought that I did very well.
I came home to complete the second hour of my walk in freezing cold.
I purchased DD and read THE NEW YORK TIMES.
I received a voice mail and a text from the Triad. I will answer but in a timely fashion.
We did watch a film last night and will be going to see the sequel this afternoon. I find that films take the place of conversation with him. Tonight I will be able to read.
Later: Today was a huge success. I loved the sequel to THE HUNGER GAMES. I cam home to make tofu for dinner, (which I wanted). I did not answer any nasty comments. I let them float away, as yoga would say, "on a cloud." I'm getting really good at this.
I am very happy with my life and grateful to the Almighty for my happiness.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR CALMNESS
I am grateful to the Almighty for the calmness that I feel.
He is getting more comfortable with me because I am on vacation. He is trying to say things that will take me down the wrong road. I'm getting really good at nonsense conversation.
It's not just the nonsense conversation. It's the fact that I'm filled with calmness and as I'm agreeing to something or anything, I'm leaving the room.
I am grateful to the Almighty for the calmness that I feel.
He is getting more comfortable with me because I am on vacation. He is trying to say things that will take me down the wrong road. I'm getting really good at nonsense conversation.
It's not just the nonsense conversation. It's the fact that I'm filled with calmness and as I'm agreeing to something or anything, I'm leaving the room.
I am grateful to the Almighty for the calmness that I feel.
GRATEFUL FOR LOOKING AHEAD
I am grateful to the Almighty because this morning as I walked (for 2 hours on a cold and frosty morning, I might add), I started to look ahead to see what new adventure I would have in my life. It doesn't mean that I don't live in the moment, but appreciating the moment helps me move on.
I have been so consumed with strategies for survival that I was not able to think ahead. Now however, everything is in place and I find myself smiling as I think about my future. Notice that I say, my future because I am not part of a viable couple which is fine and liberating.
After walking, I came home to shower and run errands. I went to the bank to move money. Then I went to Cindi's to shop. I stopped off at Weight Watchers to get some of that new dessert. I went to the cleaning store to shorten yoga pants. I went to Dr. Be Well Naturally for vitamins and to check out crackers.
Then it was off to DD.
I came home to text friends and talk to friends. And of course, to read both newspapers.
I'm going to read my book tonight and watch The Hunger Games.
I'm hoping to see a film tomorrow.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I can look ahead to the light. Leslie, in yoga, yesterday was right that this time of darkness in the winter months acts as a time where we honker down and try to make our life better.
Thank you Almighty for the gift of looking ahead.
I have been so consumed with strategies for survival that I was not able to think ahead. Now however, everything is in place and I find myself smiling as I think about my future. Notice that I say, my future because I am not part of a viable couple which is fine and liberating.
After walking, I came home to shower and run errands. I went to the bank to move money. Then I went to Cindi's to shop. I stopped off at Weight Watchers to get some of that new dessert. I went to the cleaning store to shorten yoga pants. I went to Dr. Be Well Naturally for vitamins and to check out crackers.
Then it was off to DD.
I came home to text friends and talk to friends. And of course, to read both newspapers.
I'm going to read my book tonight and watch The Hunger Games.
I'm hoping to see a film tomorrow.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I can look ahead to the light. Leslie, in yoga, yesterday was right that this time of darkness in the winter months acts as a time where we honker down and try to make our life better.
Thank you Almighty for the gift of looking ahead.
Monday, December 23, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR A SUCCESSFUL YEAR
I am grateful to the Almighty for the successful year that I have had.
I changed. I learned so much about how to handle certain people. I learned to let go of that which doesn't serve me so that I can heal. I learned to deal with those who will stay in my life. I am so grateful.
I walked this morning at Home Depot because it was raining buckets!!!
Then I took Leslie's LEVEL ONE yoga class. I did the best job that I was capable of considering my knee and ankle. I learned so much. She spoke of the Winter Solstice and how it is a time of reflection as it gets very dark. We take stock of how we did this year. As the days get lighter with each day, we move into looking at our lives. Do changes have to be made? Or tweaked???
I honestly can say that I will continue to do what I have started this year. I will continue to meet challenges head on. I will be calm, cool and collected in the face of adversity. I will not give my opinions to those who don't deserve it. I have no expectations for those who hurt me. I will move on with my life. I will continue to have adventures and challenge myself. I will continue nonsense conversation.
I am proud of myself. I am looking forward to my future. This is a change for me in the right direction.
I met him for breakfast afterwards. It was a peaceful experience filled with nonsense conversation. That's the way to be safe around him. I no longer feel guilty that I feel like this. I live in the moment and have no expectations about the future with hurtful people. Yet there is a world out there for me to find. That's what I learned from yoga.
We are going to see another film this afternoon and I will be making dinner.
I am grateful to you, Almighty, for leading me on this path and taking care of me.
I changed. I learned so much about how to handle certain people. I learned to let go of that which doesn't serve me so that I can heal. I learned to deal with those who will stay in my life. I am so grateful.
I walked this morning at Home Depot because it was raining buckets!!!
Then I took Leslie's LEVEL ONE yoga class. I did the best job that I was capable of considering my knee and ankle. I learned so much. She spoke of the Winter Solstice and how it is a time of reflection as it gets very dark. We take stock of how we did this year. As the days get lighter with each day, we move into looking at our lives. Do changes have to be made? Or tweaked???
I honestly can say that I will continue to do what I have started this year. I will continue to meet challenges head on. I will be calm, cool and collected in the face of adversity. I will not give my opinions to those who don't deserve it. I have no expectations for those who hurt me. I will move on with my life. I will continue to have adventures and challenge myself. I will continue nonsense conversation.
I am proud of myself. I am looking forward to my future. This is a change for me in the right direction.
I met him for breakfast afterwards. It was a peaceful experience filled with nonsense conversation. That's the way to be safe around him. I no longer feel guilty that I feel like this. I live in the moment and have no expectations about the future with hurtful people. Yet there is a world out there for me to find. That's what I learned from yoga.
We are going to see another film this afternoon and I will be making dinner.
I am grateful to you, Almighty, for leading me on this path and taking care of me.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR THE DAY
I am grateful to the Almighty for this day.
I have my health. I am happy. That's all that I ask for.
Last nights film was excellent. Tonight I hope to see another one after dinner. I am already making the spaghetti squash for dinner with tuna.
I am going to a Level 1 yoga class this morning. I am very excited. After that I have some chores to do. The weather is really foggy, but I hope to walk today. Later in the afternoon, I'm going for a mani/pedi. I'm excited. I will bring my book with me to read during the pedicure.
I am calm, cool and collected, a master of nonsense conversation and that is what is needed at this point.
I am grateful to the Almighty for this new day.
Later!!! The day was a huge success. The power of quiet is amazing. I had so much fun. Tonight I'm making tuna for dinner and then hope to see another film.
I have my health. I am happy. That's all that I ask for.
Last nights film was excellent. Tonight I hope to see another one after dinner. I am already making the spaghetti squash for dinner with tuna.
I am going to a Level 1 yoga class this morning. I am very excited. After that I have some chores to do. The weather is really foggy, but I hope to walk today. Later in the afternoon, I'm going for a mani/pedi. I'm excited. I will bring my book with me to read during the pedicure.
I am calm, cool and collected, a master of nonsense conversation and that is what is needed at this point.
I am grateful to the Almighty for this new day.
Later!!! The day was a huge success. The power of quiet is amazing. I had so much fun. Tonight I'm making tuna for dinner and then hope to see another film.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH
I am grateful to the Almighty because this is my first day of vacation.
I was able to attend services where I met up with my synagogue friends.
Now I'm going to take my walk.
I'm going to a wonderful Restorative Yoga Workshop this afternoon. I'm very excited.
It is possible that I will see a film with him tonight. We will see.
I am being quiet, calm and very cool and enjoying my vacation.
Later: I walked for 1 hour and 20 minutes and then I was off to a wonderful Restorative Yoga workshop. I stopped off for DD coffee on the way home. I was able to read my book. I'm getting really good at nonsense conversation at dinner. This time we discussed the fire department and the way it celebrates the Christmas holiday in town. Now it's off to see a film.
Thank you, Almighty for this wonderful day. I am grateful to you!!!
I was able to attend services where I met up with my synagogue friends.
Now I'm going to take my walk.
I'm going to a wonderful Restorative Yoga Workshop this afternoon. I'm very excited.
It is possible that I will see a film with him tonight. We will see.
I am being quiet, calm and very cool and enjoying my vacation.
Later: I walked for 1 hour and 20 minutes and then I was off to a wonderful Restorative Yoga workshop. I stopped off for DD coffee on the way home. I was able to read my book. I'm getting really good at nonsense conversation at dinner. This time we discussed the fire department and the way it celebrates the Christmas holiday in town. Now it's off to see a film.
Thank you, Almighty for this wonderful day. I am grateful to you!!!
Friday, December 20, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL, SUCCESSFUL and HEALTHY YEAR
I am grateful to the Almighty for a successful, wonderful and healthy year.
It culminated this week in an excellent checkup.
This is the last day of work. This evening, I begin a much needed vacation.
I celebrated for two days after my checkup and ate everything that I wanted to eat. Now, I am back on track. Last night, I saw shades of his trying to play, "gotcha." He can't tolerate that I am happy. This is why my intention for the holiday remains, R.E.B!!!!!
I have many plans for the vacation, many of which don't include him. Not that he wasn't asked, but his constant, "NO" allowed me to move on.
I am looking forward to my vacation. I will not show him how happy I am, but I will enjoy myself.
Tomorrow, I will attend services, walk on a beautiful day and I'm then signed up for a RESTORATIVE YOGA WORKSHOP.
I think that we are going to a film in the evening, but with him, who knows????
It's fine.
I have enough planned.
Thank you, Almighty for being there for me all year long.
Thank you for a wonderful checkup.
It culminated this week in an excellent checkup.
This is the last day of work. This evening, I begin a much needed vacation.
I celebrated for two days after my checkup and ate everything that I wanted to eat. Now, I am back on track. Last night, I saw shades of his trying to play, "gotcha." He can't tolerate that I am happy. This is why my intention for the holiday remains, R.E.B!!!!!
I have many plans for the vacation, many of which don't include him. Not that he wasn't asked, but his constant, "NO" allowed me to move on.
I am looking forward to my vacation. I will not show him how happy I am, but I will enjoy myself.
Tomorrow, I will attend services, walk on a beautiful day and I'm then signed up for a RESTORATIVE YOGA WORKSHOP.
I think that we are going to a film in the evening, but with him, who knows????
It's fine.
I have enough planned.
Thank you, Almighty for being there for me all year long.
Thank you for a wonderful checkup.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE
I am so grateful to the Almighty for my new life.
I went for my checkup yesterday. Thank you, Almighty because I am healthy. The doctor couldn't get over how I have changed my life. He said that my husband was a lucky man. I told him that I was a lucky woman to have this new life.
I cheated and eat whatever I wanted to. This won't go on forever, but for the moment, it was such fun.
Today, to make my heart soar, I will get hi-lites in my hair along with a color and blowout. Then I'm going out to dinner, AGAIN!!!!
Big fun!!!!
I deserve it!!!
Thank you, Almighty for my new life.
I went for my checkup yesterday. Thank you, Almighty because I am healthy. The doctor couldn't get over how I have changed my life. He said that my husband was a lucky man. I told him that I was a lucky woman to have this new life.
I cheated and eat whatever I wanted to. This won't go on forever, but for the moment, it was such fun.
Today, to make my heart soar, I will get hi-lites in my hair along with a color and blowout. Then I'm going out to dinner, AGAIN!!!!
Big fun!!!!
I deserve it!!!
Thank you, Almighty for my new life.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR LIFE
I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.
Today is my checkup. I hope that I will be fine.
Friday is the beginning of my vacation. I hope that today's report is good so my vacation can be a good one.
I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.
Today is my checkup. I hope that I will be fine.
Friday is the beginning of my vacation. I hope that today's report is good so my vacation can be a good one.
I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
REFLECTING BACK ON 2013
* There are three significant things that happened to me in the past year. All of them involved changes in how I see the world. My period of mourning for my old life is now over (a good thing). I no longer wake up with tears in my eyes. I am comfortable in the house and am calm and quiet when need be. I say my mantras each morning and then proceed to have a good day. All days have structure in them. I especially love going to synagogue, yoga classes and workshops and reading the many books that I do for book clubs. I enjoy walking.
* I accomplished a great deal. I see myself as an individual and each day I try to challenge myself doing new things whether it be a new yoga pose or driving and walking in the snow. I have friends. I have activities that I enjoy. I am calm and quiet. I only discuss what needs to be said. I have made my home safe for me. I am moving towards retirement happily. I am really trying NOT to have melt downs when asked to do new things.
* I become disappointed in myself when I look back to my dream of being a couple. It bothers me to realize that we never were one. This is enough to distress me. I try not to look back, but sometimes, it's very hard.
* My biggest challenge or roadblock is fear and sadness. It is tough when I get caught up in how hard I worked at the marriage/child relationship and how little I have to show for it. The challenge is to move forward and to celebrate my own life and to build a new relationship with them (the girls) because they are mine.
* I learned that I must move forward and appreciate my new life.
* I have grown a lot. I have tried to get involved with other women and integrate both sides of my personality, work and home. I am not part of a couple. I am me.
* I feel good because I now know that I am strong and capable and people accept me for who I am.
* I have changed a great deal from 2012 to 2013 as far as my home life goes. I no longer talk about things that are threatening to him (i.e. my friends as an example). I fill up conversation with nonsense. I am careful as to what I say even when it comes to people at work who can be cursed at a moments notice. I put him in charge of any plan we make and that way I cannot be blamed. I do not fear blame, but it wastes my time. I have many activities that I am engaged in without him. I appreciate each moment of my life because that moment may not come again.
* What I would do differently is an interesting question because I know that what I do is not done in a normal marriage. However, considering all that he has ever done to me, culminating in July 31, 2012, this is not a normal relationship. If I had understood this at the beginning, I would have ended it back in l971 after "the people in the closet" issues.
* In summary, I'm different than I was last year. I can be quiet when I need to be. I am comfortable in my home. I don't cater to other people. I don't give my opinions or feelings to them at all. I am proud of me. I do not fear the future. Retirement is no longer something to be feared because I can be home and be happy, myself!!!!!
* I accomplished a great deal. I see myself as an individual and each day I try to challenge myself doing new things whether it be a new yoga pose or driving and walking in the snow. I have friends. I have activities that I enjoy. I am calm and quiet. I only discuss what needs to be said. I have made my home safe for me. I am moving towards retirement happily. I am really trying NOT to have melt downs when asked to do new things.
* I become disappointed in myself when I look back to my dream of being a couple. It bothers me to realize that we never were one. This is enough to distress me. I try not to look back, but sometimes, it's very hard.
* My biggest challenge or roadblock is fear and sadness. It is tough when I get caught up in how hard I worked at the marriage/child relationship and how little I have to show for it. The challenge is to move forward and to celebrate my own life and to build a new relationship with them (the girls) because they are mine.
* I learned that I must move forward and appreciate my new life.
* I have grown a lot. I have tried to get involved with other women and integrate both sides of my personality, work and home. I am not part of a couple. I am me.
* I feel good because I now know that I am strong and capable and people accept me for who I am.
* I have changed a great deal from 2012 to 2013 as far as my home life goes. I no longer talk about things that are threatening to him (i.e. my friends as an example). I fill up conversation with nonsense. I am careful as to what I say even when it comes to people at work who can be cursed at a moments notice. I put him in charge of any plan we make and that way I cannot be blamed. I do not fear blame, but it wastes my time. I have many activities that I am engaged in without him. I appreciate each moment of my life because that moment may not come again.
* What I would do differently is an interesting question because I know that what I do is not done in a normal marriage. However, considering all that he has ever done to me, culminating in July 31, 2012, this is not a normal relationship. If I had understood this at the beginning, I would have ended it back in l971 after "the people in the closet" issues.
* In summary, I'm different than I was last year. I can be quiet when I need to be. I am comfortable in my home. I don't cater to other people. I don't give my opinions or feelings to them at all. I am proud of me. I do not fear the future. Retirement is no longer something to be feared because I can be home and be happy, myself!!!!!
QUESTIONS TO ASK MYSELF WHEN I REFLECT BACK ON THE YEAR 2013
Ask Yourself
- What were the most significant events of the year past? ( List the top 3 )
- What did you accomplish? (List wins and achievements)
- What were your disappointments? ( Regarding yourself )
- What were your biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?
- What did you learn? (skills, knowledge, awareness, etc)
- What would you do differently? Why?
- What do you feel especially good about? What was your greatest contribution?
- What were the fun things you did? What were the not-so-fun?
- How are you different this year than last?
GRATEFUL FOR OVERCOMING FEAR
I am grateful to the Almighty because I overcame my fear of driving in the snow this morning!!!!
I drove myself to work. I decided that there wasn't much snow coming down and it was time to be brave. I bought DD coffee and here I am at work.
I imagine that I will have him drive me to the book club tonight since it will ice over. I will put on my act and be fine. I told him that he could not attend the discussion since he didn't read the book. I said that it was a shame that he didn't read because these books are not like Great Books. He told me that when he promised to read, he didn't mean it. ANOTHER LIE TOLD!!! I did not react at all.
Last night, I had a private lesson with Leslie and really enjoyed it.
I went to the library to get yet another book. I am experimenting with all kinds of book clubs. I made tofu for dinner. Then I read Goldfinch for the Yoga Book Club
I'm proud of me.
Thank you, Almighty, for helping me to overcome fear.
I drove myself to work. I decided that there wasn't much snow coming down and it was time to be brave. I bought DD coffee and here I am at work.
I imagine that I will have him drive me to the book club tonight since it will ice over. I will put on my act and be fine. I told him that he could not attend the discussion since he didn't read the book. I said that it was a shame that he didn't read because these books are not like Great Books. He told me that when he promised to read, he didn't mean it. ANOTHER LIE TOLD!!! I did not react at all.
Last night, I had a private lesson with Leslie and really enjoyed it.
I went to the library to get yet another book. I am experimenting with all kinds of book clubs. I made tofu for dinner. Then I read Goldfinch for the Yoga Book Club
I'm proud of me.
Thank you, Almighty, for helping me to overcome fear.
Monday, December 16, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR SURVIVAL
I am grateful to the Almighty because I survived the weekend.
I need to be more aware of his mind games so that they don't affect me at all. I succeeded in not responding to anything he said, but that in itself is exhausting. I need to work on it not affecting me at all.
I handed out my Christmas presents today. Everyone is happy. I made peace with the Principal. Perhaps I won't retire.
Today, I have my private yoga lesson because on Wednesday, I will be going for my doctor checkup. I hope that all will be well.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I survived the weekend and God willing, the week will be good.
I need to be more aware of his mind games so that they don't affect me at all. I succeeded in not responding to anything he said, but that in itself is exhausting. I need to work on it not affecting me at all.
I handed out my Christmas presents today. Everyone is happy. I made peace with the Principal. Perhaps I won't retire.
Today, I have my private yoga lesson because on Wednesday, I will be going for my doctor checkup. I hope that all will be well.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I survived the weekend and God willing, the week will be good.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
I am grateful to the Almighty for my emotional intelligence.
For years, I did not understand all the pieces of the puzzle that were presented to me OR I lived in a dream-state that prevented me from understanding.
Now that I know what I'm up against, I'm very proud of my emotional intelligence.
I shoveled the driveway four times yesterday. I was proud of myself, but was met with sarcastic comments each time. I made a delicious dinner, but was greeted with negative comments. This morning I mentioned that I was leaving to attend an early yoga class and was greeted with another sarcastic remark. How did I handle this?? I could have answered back but that would have taken me on a road that I didn't want to be on. I answered with silence. With him, I feel it is the best way to shut him down.
Today, I'm excited to take a new yoga class at an earlier time. I will walk later when the sun is out. I will be able to because the snow melted. I hope to get DD coffee, read the papers and my wonderful book for the yoga book club.
I will let you know later how the day came together.........................
The day has been beautiful!!!! I loved the new yoga class. I am now a Level 1 student. I was able to walk for 2 hours because the snow had melted. I was careful though. I gassed up the truck, bought DD coffee and was in for the surprise of my life to discover that he wasn't home. I was able to enjoy the stillness, read the papers with my DD coffee and now I'm off to finish wrapping Christmas gifts that I will bring to work tomorrow. I can't believe my luck.
More later..............................................................
He arrived home with a vacuum cleaner, having walked around around a store that he wants to show me. He didn't ask what I had done and I didn't volunteer information. I packed the ruck up with my school books and presents before he came home.
When he arrived, I was reading my book for the yoga book club. I changed my private yoga lesson from Wednesday to tomorrow because Wednesday is my doctor checkup. I hope all is fine. I don't need something else to worry about.
Back to the book and to a quiet evening.
Thank you, Almighty for emotional intelligence that has made this possible.
For years, I did not understand all the pieces of the puzzle that were presented to me OR I lived in a dream-state that prevented me from understanding.
Now that I know what I'm up against, I'm very proud of my emotional intelligence.
I shoveled the driveway four times yesterday. I was proud of myself, but was met with sarcastic comments each time. I made a delicious dinner, but was greeted with negative comments. This morning I mentioned that I was leaving to attend an early yoga class and was greeted with another sarcastic remark. How did I handle this?? I could have answered back but that would have taken me on a road that I didn't want to be on. I answered with silence. With him, I feel it is the best way to shut him down.
Today, I'm excited to take a new yoga class at an earlier time. I will walk later when the sun is out. I will be able to because the snow melted. I hope to get DD coffee, read the papers and my wonderful book for the yoga book club.
I will let you know later how the day came together.........................
The day has been beautiful!!!! I loved the new yoga class. I am now a Level 1 student. I was able to walk for 2 hours because the snow had melted. I was careful though. I gassed up the truck, bought DD coffee and was in for the surprise of my life to discover that he wasn't home. I was able to enjoy the stillness, read the papers with my DD coffee and now I'm off to finish wrapping Christmas gifts that I will bring to work tomorrow. I can't believe my luck.
More later..............................................................
He arrived home with a vacuum cleaner, having walked around around a store that he wants to show me. He didn't ask what I had done and I didn't volunteer information. I packed the ruck up with my school books and presents before he came home.
When he arrived, I was reading my book for the yoga book club. I changed my private yoga lesson from Wednesday to tomorrow because Wednesday is my doctor checkup. I hope all is fine. I don't need something else to worry about.
Back to the book and to a quiet evening.
Thank you, Almighty for emotional intelligence that has made this possible.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR INSIGHT
I am grateful to the Almighty for giving me the ability to be insightful. I have learned in yoga to show myself compassion in order to give myself inner peace.
It is a cold and snowy day. I was able to go to services which were very uplifting. I got to laugh with friends. I cleaned the car of snow when I left and came home to shovel the driveway.
Instead of thanking me, he began his sarcastic remarks. I saw the road this was leading and chose NOT to say anything. I read the newspapers, looked at the mail, texted friends and now I am on the computer. Afterwards, I intend to read my new book, GOLDFINCH, for the yoga book club in January.
Later, I hope to walk at HOME DEPOT and watch a film in the evening.
I'm happy that the Almighty has given me the ability to be insightful and am able to have a wonderful day despite adversity.
It is a cold and snowy day. I was able to go to services which were very uplifting. I got to laugh with friends. I cleaned the car of snow when I left and came home to shovel the driveway.
Instead of thanking me, he began his sarcastic remarks. I saw the road this was leading and chose NOT to say anything. I read the newspapers, looked at the mail, texted friends and now I am on the computer. Afterwards, I intend to read my new book, GOLDFINCH, for the yoga book club in January.
Later, I hope to walk at HOME DEPOT and watch a film in the evening.
I'm happy that the Almighty has given me the ability to be insightful and am able to have a wonderful day despite adversity.
Friday, December 13, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE
I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.
I am so grateful for my health. I am grateful for friends, activities and the way that giving up my history has changed my life.
I have decided to retire. He took me out to dinner last night and promised to "be good." Imagine a 67 year old man promising that. I told him that it didn't matter because I had strategies to make my life work for me. I'm so proud and grateful to the Almighty because I was able to say that in a calm, cool voice.
I turned down an invitation to go to my older daughter's boyfriends house over my vacation because I owe her nothing. It's my vacation. Life is about me. I am grateful to the Almighty because he made me see that.
I spoke with the Principal this morning to set up an appointment to speak with him about his behavior on Monday. I am in charge of me. I am grateful to the Almighty for that.
Tonight is the Sabbath, a day of rest.
I pray that my checkup was good so that I can move on with my life.
Thank you, Almighty for my life.
Later: In the quiet stillness of Shabbos, I finished my book. It was excellent. There's a great deal to be said for quiet.
I am so grateful for my health. I am grateful for friends, activities and the way that giving up my history has changed my life.
I have decided to retire. He took me out to dinner last night and promised to "be good." Imagine a 67 year old man promising that. I told him that it didn't matter because I had strategies to make my life work for me. I'm so proud and grateful to the Almighty because I was able to say that in a calm, cool voice.
I turned down an invitation to go to my older daughter's boyfriends house over my vacation because I owe her nothing. It's my vacation. Life is about me. I am grateful to the Almighty because he made me see that.
I spoke with the Principal this morning to set up an appointment to speak with him about his behavior on Monday. I am in charge of me. I am grateful to the Almighty for that.
Tonight is the Sabbath, a day of rest.
I pray that my checkup was good so that I can move on with my life.
Thank you, Almighty for my life.
Later: In the quiet stillness of Shabbos, I finished my book. It was excellent. There's a great deal to be said for quiet.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR RETIREMENT
I am grateful to the Almighty that I am going to retire.
It is not fun being at work. Believe it or not, it's easier to stay at home. I know how to handle him. I know what to say and what not to say. There are quiet times at home also that I very much appreciate.
Things here are really crazy. The Principal is very difficult to work with and there is really no point in being here.
I am grateful to the Almighty that I can and will retire.
It is not fun being at work. Believe it or not, it's easier to stay at home. I know how to handle him. I know what to say and what not to say. There are quiet times at home also that I very much appreciate.
Things here are really crazy. The Principal is very difficult to work with and there is really no point in being here.
I am grateful to the Almighty that I can and will retire.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE
I am so grateful to the Almighty for the life that I have.
Today, I went for my blood/urine test for my doctor checkup next Wednesday. I hope and pray that all is fine.
I need to learn to accept the changes that come with the winter months. Snow and ice will make me more dependent on him. I will need to remain calm, cool and collected.
Today, I will hunker down in my house and read. There will be yoga music and wine and my puppy. I am comfortable in my own home. I am grateful for this. I have internalized my strategies with him and I'm happy.
Thank you, Almighty for my life.
Today, I went for my blood/urine test for my doctor checkup next Wednesday. I hope and pray that all is fine.
I need to learn to accept the changes that come with the winter months. Snow and ice will make me more dependent on him. I will need to remain calm, cool and collected.
Today, I will hunker down in my house and read. There will be yoga music and wine and my puppy. I am comfortable in my own home. I am grateful for this. I have internalized my strategies with him and I'm happy.
Thank you, Almighty for my life.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR MOVING FORWARD
I am grateful to the Almighty because I have the strength and fortitude necessary to move forward.
Today it is going to snow. I decided to drive myself to work and to manage on my own. The forecast is a possible 2-4 inches and it hasn't started yet. I brought my shoes, wore my boots and made sure that my brush was easy to find in the truck. It did start to snow at 8:45 A.M.
It is 11:45, and there is snow out there. I'm concerned about getting to the truck this afternoon but I'm going to do it!!!!
I asked the AP if I could leave through a particular door. He said that I could, but after 3:15. I told him that I work until 2:15 and he said that it didn't matter. Just another reason to retire. I snuck out another door and drove home. I will not be going to yoga tonight. The roads are going to ice over and it will be dangerous. He is driving me tomorrow, so that ends my private. But, it's fine. It is winter after all.
I had a wonderful time at Sangria and Bingo yesterday. I won a cashmere scarf and had fun talking to my friends.
He purchased a Laundry jacket for me. That is his method of control. He loves to create confusion so that you don't realize the next thing that will happen. However, I'm not stupid. I realize who he is. However, I happily accepted the jacket. Why not????
I am happy and in control of my life.
I am moving forward.
I am grateful to the Almighty for this.
Today it is going to snow. I decided to drive myself to work and to manage on my own. The forecast is a possible 2-4 inches and it hasn't started yet. I brought my shoes, wore my boots and made sure that my brush was easy to find in the truck. It did start to snow at 8:45 A.M.
It is 11:45, and there is snow out there. I'm concerned about getting to the truck this afternoon but I'm going to do it!!!!
I asked the AP if I could leave through a particular door. He said that I could, but after 3:15. I told him that I work until 2:15 and he said that it didn't matter. Just another reason to retire. I snuck out another door and drove home. I will not be going to yoga tonight. The roads are going to ice over and it will be dangerous. He is driving me tomorrow, so that ends my private. But, it's fine. It is winter after all.
I had a wonderful time at Sangria and Bingo yesterday. I won a cashmere scarf and had fun talking to my friends.
He purchased a Laundry jacket for me. That is his method of control. He loves to create confusion so that you don't realize the next thing that will happen. However, I'm not stupid. I realize who he is. However, I happily accepted the jacket. Why not????
I am happy and in control of my life.
I am moving forward.
I am grateful to the Almighty for this.
Monday, December 9, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR ABSOLUTE YOGA
I am grateful to the Almighty for His sending me to y yoga studio, ABSOLUTE YOGA.
I read on FACEBOOK that at this time of year, we become very upset.
That really hit home because of my "situation."
Anyway, the article continued that we loose sight of giving ourselves the gift of inner peace. This is so true. I have it within myself to give myself the gift of inner happiness. No one can upset that.
With this in mind, I will move forward to enjoy my life.
Thank you, Almighty for the gift of ABSOLUTE YOGA.
I read on FACEBOOK that at this time of year, we become very upset.
That really hit home because of my "situation."
Anyway, the article continued that we loose sight of giving ourselves the gift of inner peace. This is so true. I have it within myself to give myself the gift of inner happiness. No one can upset that.
With this in mind, I will move forward to enjoy my life.
Thank you, Almighty for the gift of ABSOLUTE YOGA.
GRATEFUL FOR SMILING
I am grateful to the Almighty because I can smile in the face of adversity.
It is quickly approaching 17 months since he did that horrific thing to me. He is looking forward to doing something else. He is trying very hard to upset me so that I react. However, he keeps getting my calm and quiet voice. This is not what he wants. He tried silence and that didn't work. He tried yelling and that didn't work. I can tell that he is very frustrated.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I can smile in the face of adversity. I know exactly what he is about and it will not interfere with my life.
His new condo game fell flat. I don't want to vacation with him. I don't introduce him to new people I meet. I don't want to know who he knows. I am always respectful and quiet. I invite him to what I'm doing knowing he won't come.
He is very frustrated and that's the way I like it.
Tonight, I'm going to a co-ed Bingo and Sangria at PJC. I could have invited him, but I chose not to.
It doesn't pay to tell the girls because they are just like him. One even snuck into a film with her boyfriend over the weekend.
I'm doing very well.
Thank you, Almighty for my smile.
It is quickly approaching 17 months since he did that horrific thing to me. He is looking forward to doing something else. He is trying very hard to upset me so that I react. However, he keeps getting my calm and quiet voice. This is not what he wants. He tried silence and that didn't work. He tried yelling and that didn't work. I can tell that he is very frustrated.
I am grateful to the Almighty because I can smile in the face of adversity. I know exactly what he is about and it will not interfere with my life.
His new condo game fell flat. I don't want to vacation with him. I don't introduce him to new people I meet. I don't want to know who he knows. I am always respectful and quiet. I invite him to what I'm doing knowing he won't come.
He is very frustrated and that's the way I like it.
Tonight, I'm going to a co-ed Bingo and Sangria at PJC. I could have invited him, but I chose not to.
It doesn't pay to tell the girls because they are just like him. One even snuck into a film with her boyfriend over the weekend.
I'm doing very well.
Thank you, Almighty for my smile.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR THE JOY OF THIS DAY
I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy of this Sunday.
It was cold today, but I did manage to walk for 2 hours. My fingers were freezing but I had a very strong determination to do this. That's just me!!! I have a great deal of determination in all that I do.
Then it was on to my last yoga class of this series. I will start to take a LEVEL 1 class next week and will have to rearrange my walking schedule.
Then it was on to Fresh Produce, a new store that opened that has the most amazing grapefruits and apples.
Breakfast with DD is the best. There is nothing like reading The NY Times and Newsday on a cold Sunday morning.
I've picked out clothes for tomorrow and started to pack my lunch.
I will do some reading of my book and then hopefully head to the Walt Whitman mall to do some shopping.
All the while, he has tried to accuse me, needle me and annoy me. All of this has fallen on deaf ears. I promised myself that what he hasn't learned by now, he never will.
Thank you, Almighty for the joy of this day.
LATER- I succeeded in finding a Laundry Coat for the winter which seems to be the latest rage. I bought makeup. We went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner and of course he made one million promises (RIGHT). But, I loved myself deeply today and that's what matters.
It was cold today, but I did manage to walk for 2 hours. My fingers were freezing but I had a very strong determination to do this. That's just me!!! I have a great deal of determination in all that I do.
Then it was on to my last yoga class of this series. I will start to take a LEVEL 1 class next week and will have to rearrange my walking schedule.
Then it was on to Fresh Produce, a new store that opened that has the most amazing grapefruits and apples.
Breakfast with DD is the best. There is nothing like reading The NY Times and Newsday on a cold Sunday morning.
I've picked out clothes for tomorrow and started to pack my lunch.
I will do some reading of my book and then hopefully head to the Walt Whitman mall to do some shopping.
All the while, he has tried to accuse me, needle me and annoy me. All of this has fallen on deaf ears. I promised myself that what he hasn't learned by now, he never will.
Thank you, Almighty for the joy of this day.
LATER- I succeeded in finding a Laundry Coat for the winter which seems to be the latest rage. I bought makeup. We went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner and of course he made one million promises (RIGHT). But, I loved myself deeply today and that's what matters.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH WISDOM, STRENGTH AND FORTITUDE
I cannot begin to thank the Almighty enough for giving me the Sabbath.
Services were wonderful. The presentation today on the sandwich generation aging was interesting. It is a lot of fun connecting with my friends. This week the Sisterhood is doing a Sangria and Bingo which I am attending with some friends. On Thursday, I'm going to a Memory Class that I wanted to join and then out to dinner. These are new things that I look forward to.
I'm going to walk later. It is cold and I will be wearing my thermals.
I have re-done our plans to not include dinner and to go to a later movie. He has decided to"control" me by doing the silent treatment. The game is that I'm supposed to ask, "why" so that we can be off and running. What a waste of my time!!!!! But, it means that I can eat at home, which is better for my weight.
Thank you, Almighty for a beautiful Sabbath and for the wisdom to enjoy it.
LATE UPDATE: I did it! I walked on this cold day. I read the newspapers, worked on computer, did the mail and laundry. I'm almost done with a wonderful book. He practiced his "semi-silent treatment" all day. I didn't react at all. THIS IS A FIRST FOR ME. At dinner, he said that I didn't let him watch the end of Frosty the Snowman with me. I didn't react at all. I just announced that I went to sleep afterwards, which I did. And it was over!!! BUT, I WON FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEKEND. THE FIRST WAS A "CONDO" THAT I CHOSE NOT TO DISCUSS.
What a great day. Dinner was at home and now we will go out to see a film.
Thank you Almighty for my strength and fortitude!!!
Services were wonderful. The presentation today on the sandwich generation aging was interesting. It is a lot of fun connecting with my friends. This week the Sisterhood is doing a Sangria and Bingo which I am attending with some friends. On Thursday, I'm going to a Memory Class that I wanted to join and then out to dinner. These are new things that I look forward to.
I'm going to walk later. It is cold and I will be wearing my thermals.
I have re-done our plans to not include dinner and to go to a later movie. He has decided to"control" me by doing the silent treatment. The game is that I'm supposed to ask, "why" so that we can be off and running. What a waste of my time!!!!! But, it means that I can eat at home, which is better for my weight.
Thank you, Almighty for a beautiful Sabbath and for the wisdom to enjoy it.
LATE UPDATE: I did it! I walked on this cold day. I read the newspapers, worked on computer, did the mail and laundry. I'm almost done with a wonderful book. He practiced his "semi-silent treatment" all day. I didn't react at all. THIS IS A FIRST FOR ME. At dinner, he said that I didn't let him watch the end of Frosty the Snowman with me. I didn't react at all. I just announced that I went to sleep afterwards, which I did. And it was over!!! BUT, I WON FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEKEND. THE FIRST WAS A "CONDO" THAT I CHOSE NOT TO DISCUSS.
What a great day. Dinner was at home and now we will go out to see a film.
Thank you Almighty for my strength and fortitude!!!
Friday, December 6, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL WEEK
I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful week that I have had.
Tonight is Shabbos. I will enjoy the beauty of candle lightening, kiddush and motzei over the challah. I will enjoy the quiet that a rainy Sabbath in December brings. I will not fill up the air with idle conversation.
Just to let you know that I am succeeding, after candle lighting, he "found" a condo in the paper with a price range, thinking we could have a "discussion." I listened respectfully and didn't answer. Way to go!!!!!
It has been a wonderful week.
It's time for inner peace.
Thank you, Almighty for this wonderful week.
Tonight is Shabbos. I will enjoy the beauty of candle lightening, kiddush and motzei over the challah. I will enjoy the quiet that a rainy Sabbath in December brings. I will not fill up the air with idle conversation.
Just to let you know that I am succeeding, after candle lighting, he "found" a condo in the paper with a price range, thinking we could have a "discussion." I listened respectfully and didn't answer. Way to go!!!!!
It has been a wonderful week.
It's time for inner peace.
Thank you, Almighty for this wonderful week.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR REALIZATIONS
I am grateful to the Almighty for coming to realizations.
I made a mistake with him that I will rectify. It is difficult for me to be silent at dinner. It isn't my personality. I made the mistake, and I've done it a few times already, of discussing my retirement and the condo we should buy.
He isn't planning on buying anything. He doesn't need anything.
I need to stop discussing this topic at dinner and to find other things to chat about. They should be nonsensical topics.
Tonight, however, I won't have that problem as I'm having dinner with a dear friend for which I am grateful!!!!
I made a mistake with him that I will rectify. It is difficult for me to be silent at dinner. It isn't my personality. I made the mistake, and I've done it a few times already, of discussing my retirement and the condo we should buy.
He isn't planning on buying anything. He doesn't need anything.
I need to stop discussing this topic at dinner and to find other things to chat about. They should be nonsensical topics.
Tonight, however, I won't have that problem as I'm having dinner with a dear friend for which I am grateful!!!!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
GRATEFUL FOR RECOGNIZING THE JOY OF MY NEW LIFE
I am grateful to the Almighty, because as I said my mantras this morning, I was grateful for my new life.
I must be careful in this holiday season, not to get upset at the life that I didn't have. The life that I do have has a great deal of joy in it and for this I am thankful.
Yesterday, I went to a Restorative Yoga Class where Dawn spoke of being compassionate with oneself. How many times have I heard that I am hard on myself????
I then went to my Sisterhood meeting where friends were happy to see me. I was happy to be there too. How long did it take after those girls left for me to be recognized in the synagogue? They are history now and that has made my heart soar.
Today, I have my private yoga lesson and I'm looking forward to reading my book for the Sisterhood Book Club.
Hopefully my checkup will be a good one with the help of the Almighty.
It was no fun going on vacation with him if I am to be honest with myself. It is better to have a stay-cation where I can enjoy the things that I love.
Interestingly enough, I looked back on old entries from last year. I have noticed that I would say things to him in a non-emotional, non-judgemental way. He then had the opportunity to carry on. I NOTICE THAT I DISCUSS NOTHING!!!! I COMMENT ON NOTHING!!! I'VE LEARNED TO DO THIS AND I'M HAPPY!!!!!
I went to a wonderful private lesson with Leslie. She spoke about having inner peace during the season. I believe that that is going to be my intention for tomorrow. It is important to remember that especially with this group.
Thank you Almighty for my new life and helping me to realize its joys.
I must be careful in this holiday season, not to get upset at the life that I didn't have. The life that I do have has a great deal of joy in it and for this I am thankful.
Yesterday, I went to a Restorative Yoga Class where Dawn spoke of being compassionate with oneself. How many times have I heard that I am hard on myself????
I then went to my Sisterhood meeting where friends were happy to see me. I was happy to be there too. How long did it take after those girls left for me to be recognized in the synagogue? They are history now and that has made my heart soar.
Today, I have my private yoga lesson and I'm looking forward to reading my book for the Sisterhood Book Club.
Hopefully my checkup will be a good one with the help of the Almighty.
It was no fun going on vacation with him if I am to be honest with myself. It is better to have a stay-cation where I can enjoy the things that I love.
Interestingly enough, I looked back on old entries from last year. I have noticed that I would say things to him in a non-emotional, non-judgemental way. He then had the opportunity to carry on. I NOTICE THAT I DISCUSS NOTHING!!!! I COMMENT ON NOTHING!!! I'VE LEARNED TO DO THIS AND I'M HAPPY!!!!!
I went to a wonderful private lesson with Leslie. She spoke about having inner peace during the season. I believe that that is going to be my intention for tomorrow. It is important to remember that especially with this group.
Thank you Almighty for my new life and helping me to realize its joys.
HOW TRUE THIS IS!!!!
on Dec 2, 2013
Have you noticed . . . there’s so much to do.
So many items on the ever-expanding to-do list. How can you set priorities and focus on what matters most? How can you whittle the list down to the core – so that your actions and choices align with your heart’s deeper dream?
The wisdom traditions, from around the world, suggest using death as your advisor.
The awareness of death, far from being a morbid preoccupation, illuminates the sacredness of this moment.
I remember teaching a meditation retreat on Maui and waking each morning to the most amazing spider web bedecked in glisten drops of dew.
Each drop sparkled like a jewel in the morning sun; the very sun that would cause each radiant drop to evaporate within the hour.
Isn’t every moment as amazing and radiant as a drop of dew—and, as fleeting?
Yes, there’s a lot to do. And awareness of death—which is awareness of the sacredness of this moment—clarifies the relative importance of the items on your to-do list.
Awareness of death brings into sharp relief this moment-to-moment choice: will you devote yourself to what matters most or pour your life into busy work?
Fidelity to your heart’s deepest dream isn’t primarily a matter of self-discipline or productivity systems.
It’s more a practice of remembering—that this life is jewel-like, radiant, and fleeting like the dew on a spider’s web.
Try this alternative to a complex productivity system.
Several times each day pause and ask the question that poet Mary Oliver poses: ”Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
And, I would add— “And what is a simple, direct choice that will move you in that direction?”
Okay. Go do that.
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Editor: Bryonie Wise
Eric Klein is one of the few people on the planet who is both a lineage holder in a 5,000 year old yoga lineage and a best-selling business book author. You can get his free book "50 Ways to Leave Your Karma: Freedom, Fear, and the Art of Getting Unstuck" atWisdomHeart.org/50Ways. Eric has worked with over 35,000 people to infuse greater meaning, awareness, and purpose into their work and lives. His book "You are the Leader You’ve Been Waiting For" won a 2008 Nautilus Book Award for being “a world-changing book promoting positive social change and responsible leadership.” Eric is also the author of the bestseller "Awakening Corporate Soul: Four Paths to Unleash the Power of People at Work" (over 200,000 copies sold) and "To Do or Not To Do: How Successful Leaders Make Better Decisions". He lives in Encinitas, California with his wife Devi. To learn more about their work (and listen to their fusion kirtan music), go to WisdomHeart.org.
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