GRATEFUL FOR THE GLADNESS IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the gladness in my life.

The Memory Workshop yesterday wad wonderful.   I really enjoyed all the participants who presented their memories.

I am grateful because I received a huge job assignment from my Principal and was able to complete most of it at the Curriculum Meeting that I went to in Central Office.

Tonight is the Sabbath.  I look back at a week filled with joy.  I loved being free to drive around and do errands.    I loved Restorative Yoga.  I enjoyed the Yoga Book Club and the Sisterhood Book Club.  I enjoyed the Memory Workshop.

He and I went out to dinner last night.  It was pleasant.  I wonder how long he can maintain this decent behavior with me?  I also enjoyed lunch after yoga and dinner before the Sisterhood Book Club.  

It has been a really good week.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the gladness in my life.

GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE GLADNESS IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the gladness that is in my life.

I had a wonderful time at the YOGA BOOK CLUB yesterday.  I took a 1/2 day work day and left by 11.  It did snow a bit, but it was a snow squall and I was able to manage.  We did a LEVEL 1 practice followed by lunch and discussion.  It was great!!!!!

I came home to straighten up because Wednesday, he cleans the house.  I paid a bill on the computer, as well as went on the computer.  I read The NY Times and spoke to him quietly, watchfully and appropriately.  His topic was the condo.  I was careful as to what I said.

Then it was off to dinner at Pasteria with my Sisterhood friends and another book discussion. I had a very good evening.

This afternoon, I'm going to my Memory Workshop.  He will make the decision as to whether we go out or not.  It doesn't matter to me.  I have had a full week.

The book that I'm reading for the Syosset Book Club is very good too!!!

Thank you, Almighty for all the gladness in my life.

GRATEFUL FOR THE GOODNESS IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the goodness in my life.

I am grateful to the Almighty for helping me to give up my adolescent dreams.  This has helped me to move forward and appreciate all the good things in my life.

Last night I attended my Restorative Yoga class.  It was wonderful.   I came home and he wanted to chat with me.  I did not delude myself into thinking that he wanted to talk to me.  It was just that the older daughter went on vacation with her boyfriend and the sister-in-law is also away.  By default, he had me.

He is still discussing the condo.  I am still making appropriate answers.

Today, I am taking a 1/2 sick day from work to attend my YOGA BOOK CLUB.  I am excited.  My mat and clothes are in the truck.   IT DID NOT SNOW!!!!!! I can drive there.

I am going out to dinner with friends and then attending THE SISTERHOOD BOOK CLUB.  IT DID NOT SNOW!!   I can drive there.

The book that I am reading for the SYOSSET BOOK CLUB is wonderful.  Did I tell you that yesterday, I picked up a book for an afternoon book club???

I am so grateful to the Almighty for the good in my life.

GRATEFUL FOR THE JOY IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty because He sent Hollie to introduce me to yoga.  This in turn helped me to be grounded which changed my life.

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the joy in my life.

Yesterday, I worked very hard beginning to set up the new classroom at school.  I was very satisfied with what I had done.  I will continue today.   I was able to do errands because there was no snow.  I made a delicious dinner and was able to read my book.

He droned on about the new condo that we are buying.  It was like listening to background noise or a song that keeps being repeated.  I said all the appropriate things.  Today, he is getting my shades repaired.  Our steamer broke and he is getting another one.  I will be making dinner.

This morning it did not snow either.   I have a busy work day.  Tonight, I will be going to a Restorative Yoga class with Dawn.  I will come home to read.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy in my life.

GRATEFUL FOR THE GOODNESS IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for all the goodness in my life.

I am back at work and I am happy that I am here.  I'm the type of person who is happy wherever they are.  I will however miss Matzah while I'm here.

I thought about my week as I drove in to work today.   I was grateful for all the wonderful activities that I did.  I was also grateful that it didn't snow today because I will get to do some errands on the way home.

He is still in a decent mood.  It amazes me how manipulative he can be.  I'm proud to sat that I don't believe a word that he says.  I am careful.   I am happy with my life.

I am thankful to the Almighty for helping me appreciate all that is mine.

GRATEFUL FOR THE JOY IN MY LIFE- WINTER RECESS DAY 9- THE LAST DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for the joy that I have found in my own life.

Winter recess was a prime example of this.  I did so many wonderful activities during Winter Recess.  I read THE WOMAN UPSTAIRS and am now reading, A CONSTELLATION OF VITAL PHENOMENA.    I was able to go to services on the second Sabbath that I was off and to reconnect with friends.   Hopefully, it won't snow badly this coming Wednesday and I will be able to go to my book clubs.  

I watched two wonderful movies,  THE HOBBIT and THE AMAZING OZ.  I talked to and texted friends.  I got beautiful new colors for my latest manicure/pedicure.

We are getting a taste of Spring-like weather and for the last two days, I was able to walk outside for 2 hours instead of walking at Home Depot.

I attended an entire variety of old and new yoga classes.  I was in a REIKI CIRCLE.  I attended a new class entitled,  GENTLE YOGA AND MEDITATION as well as 3 LEVEL 1 classes and RESTORATIVE YOGA.  I learned a lot about appreciating the joy, goodness and gladness in my life.  

I watched the Olympics in Sochi as well as my show, TRUE DETECTIVE.

There was sadness during the week, but it was like background noise.  He tried to insight me to argue with him and he failed.   I finally, in a quiet voice explained how life would never move forward if he was like this.  I do not expect him to change, but was very happy that I expressed myself.  My dizziness has subsided as a result of speaking up.  For the moment he is being decent, but it won't be sustained.

I return to work tomorrow, a happy and relaxed person ready to start the work week.

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me find the joy in my life.

GRATEFUL FOR THE GOODNESS IN MY LIFE WINTER RECESS - DAY 8

I am grateful to the Almighty for all of the goodness in my life.

Today, I went to services at our synagogue.  I was thrilled to be their and to re-connect with all my friends.  Hopefully, it will not snow on Wednesday because we would like to go out to dinner before the Sisterhood Book Club.  The congregation was invited to a Bar Mitzvah extended kiddish and it was wonderful to eat and connect with friends.

It looks like I will be able to walk outside today.  The weather is beautiful.  I'm very excited.

I really like my new book.

Thank you Almighty for showing me a way to appreciate all the goodness in my life.

Later-    There is a great deal of goodness in my life and I am grateful for my life.  I walked for two hours. It was an incredible walk.  The snow is melting and I haven't walked outside in a forever.     I read my book.  I'm going to watch a NETFLIX film.   I am grateful to the Almighty for all he has given me.

GRATEFUL FOR MY OWN GOODNESS - WINTER RECESS DAY 7

I am grateful to the Almighty because he sent me to yoga and there I learned about how to look at my life in a positive way and to be grateful for the goodness in it.  I hope that I continue to look at the world in a positive way throughout the rest of my life.


Last night we went out to dinner.  It was a good experience and I have leftovers so that I don't have to make a Sabbath dinner.  I am excited because tomorrow I can attend services as the snow is melting.  More is predicted for later in the week, but I'm living in this moment.

I did some errands this morning.  I walked at Home Depot and then took a yoga class.  That is where it all came together.  I need to be positive about my own life so that I can enjoy it.

If truth be told, I have enjoyed this week.  I did many enjoyable things.  Yesterday, I got a funky new manicure/pedicure combining the colors purple and gray.  I had the manicurist paint flowers on my nails.  To me it represents spring.  I'm so done with snow.

I finished my book and will start another.

Both the Sisterhood Book Club and Yoga Book Club are on Wednesday, the day that snow is predicted.

I'm going to walk the mall with him.  He needs and I love to walk.

Thank you, Almighty for sending me to yoga so that I could learn to appreciate my own goodness.

GRATEFUL FOR BEING STRONG AND DETERMINED - WINTER RECESS DAY 6

I am grateful to the Almighty for making me a strong and determined person.

The REIKI CIRCLE that I joined yesterday was wonderful.  I will definitely make REIKI a part of my yoga practice.

I had a wonderful time at yoga last night.  I'm loving taking a yoga class each day.  I went to dinner with him.  He was quite appropriate.  We watched the Olympics together.  Let's see how long this lasts before he tries to upset me again.    Notice that I say tries because he is never successful.

Today, I'm going to walk at Home Depot.  It's beautiful outside but the snow hasn't melted on the sidewalks or near the curb, so I can't walk there.   

I'm taking a new yoga class today called, YOGA FOR THE SOUL.  I'm excited!!!!

I'm also going for a manicure/pedicure today.

Later I will go to the mall with him and out to dinner.

I'm having a wonderful week.

Thank you Almighty for making me a strong and determined woman.  

GRATEFUL FOR BEING TRUTHFUL IN A POSITIVE WAY- WINTER RECESS DAY 5

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am learning how to be truthful in a positive way.

He always curses out Izzy, to the point where for a moment, I uninvited the older one to the second seder.  I rescinded yesterday, re-texted as I told you.   I again explained the history of how we arrived at Izzy, but all he wanted to hear was the name of my latest friend that he hates.
To shut him up, I apologized, but that wasn't enough.  He kept it running all day long until I used my acting ability to pretend that I was crying.  That made him thrilled and he stopped. Sick bastard that he is.   What was killing him was that he couldn't get a rise out of me and then he couldn't call 911.  

The truth is that I wanted to have dinner, which I made for me, with tofu and kale and attend my Restorative Yoga Class.

I have been feeling a bit dizzy on occasion and I know that it's part of panic attacks that I would get when I didn't express myself.

I was part of a Reiki Circle today which I thoroughly enjoyed and my card came up for me to be assertive in a loving way.

I did some errands.  I was proud of me because there was ice on the ground and I shopped, put gas in my truck and got DD coffee.

I came home to tell him the truth of how I felt about him.  I said all of this quietly.  I am self-made. I have friends and a career.  I was no longer in love with him.  That was a big one.  I told him why I wouldn't watch the honeymoon movie.I won't watch a film about a young girl who has all her dreams shattered when the honeymoon is over.    I wouldn't retire and until all this is resolved, WHICH I NEVER BELIEVE IT WILL BE.    I WILL NEVER BUY A CONDO.   Then I was done. I think that he was shocked. It's all the truth and it needed to be said.   I feel much better.

Tonight, I am going to yet another yoga class.  After all, this is my stay-cation.  He is taking me to dinner.  My guess is that he will not be able to sustain decency.  However, I was honest.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I was truthful in a positive way.  I did it for myself.

GRATEFUL FOR PLAYING THE GAME- WINTER RECESS DAY 4

I am grateful to the Almighty because I know how to play winter games also.  More than that,  I know how to do them with a smile and no eye contact.  More than that I know how to do them quickly and to lie so that I can move on with my very own life.

Last night we watched THE HOBBIT.  It was wonderful.  Of course, he hated it.

This morning, I told him that the older one and her boyfriend would be invited to the second seder.   I did it because I spoke to the younger one who is NOT part of the triad and she would have no where else to go. I saw that he would have made this an issue and I decided to diffuse it.   It may sound confusing but it keeps them on their toes.

Santos came to shovel.  He was going to negotiate the price and of course was angry when I didn't.  He tried to create an issue and I must smile when I write this because I told him to hold that thought, something that I have never said.  I hope to get to walk Home Depot and go to yoga tonight.

I called my girlfriend and she was surprised that I did it from home.

I invited the younger one for a girls day on Thursday.

I'm reading a really good book.  I'm creating delicious dinners because he refuses to eat anything but pasta.  And he makes his own dinner too!!!!

I'm not letting his moods affect me and even I'm surprised.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have learned to play the game.

GRATEFUL FOR RECOGNIZING DANGEROUS PEOPLE- WINTER RECESS DAY 3

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has helped me to recognize dangerous people and I am political enough to know what to do.

Last night, I received a text from the older one telling me that her boyfriend's family had invited them for the first seder and they could come for the second.  My response????   Sorry, there is no second one.  We will be going to the synagogue for a community seder.  The younger one could come for the first seder.  What did I feel????  The answer is ABSOLUTE JOY!!!  This morning she went to visit friends in New Jersey and has been texting me all day.  I'm sure there was no seder.  She just wanted freedom.  I was joyful.

He was in a wonderful mood today.  That is dangerous because it shows how manipulative he is. Did I fall for it??   Nope!!!!!  I walked Home Depot with him in tow.  I took a wonderful yoga class. We went out to breakfast.   I went to Trader Joe's.  I went to DD and bought him a donut.

Any other time, I would say something like the times they are a changin'.  However, these people are dangerous. Politically, I know what to do.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this realization.

GRATEFUL FOR BEING POLITICAL- WINTER RECESS- DAY 2

I am grateful to the Almighty for making me a political human being.

I did not know what to expect from him before all the information was placed in front of me.  However, now I can make informed decisions and be very political.

He woke up in his usual rotten mood.  However, I was determined to get to yoga and walk in Home Depot.  Santos came to shovel.  I showered and orchestrated a solution which would benefit me. 

He would take himself out for breakfast.  After all, I have done that and he doesn't like my diner.  That could have been an issue, but I agreed.    He was to drop me at yoga.  He did and I was able to take my LEVEL 1 class and shop.  We then went to Fresh Produce to stock up on grapefruits and apples.  Off we went to  Home Depot to walk.

It was after that,  in Home Depot, at a "kitchen table" that I explained why I wouldn't retire. I knew he wouldn't grandstand in public.   I asked him if he would retire given someone like him and his answer was, "no."  I asked him if he thought that this was a marriage.  Let him marinate on that for a while.

I NEVER RAISED MY VOICE.  He would have loved for me to do that.  He would have enjoyed it. IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!

We went to get DD for me and I read both newspapers and had breakfast.

I received a picture from her of her laundry.  I never acknowledged it.

I'm going to read my book now.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have become a political human being.

GRATEFUL FOR BABY STEPS- WINTER RECESS- DAY 1

I am grateful to the Almighty for the ability to take baby steps.

It is the first day of WINTER RECESS.  Naturally, it is going to snow and there is ice all over the ground.  I am not going to services, but will pray at home.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the realizations that I had yesterday.  It is not going to be easy but it is going to be done through baby steps.  If these people were no longer in my life, it would be easier.  However he lives with me and the girls are my daughters.  However, through baby steps I will make this happen.

I needed a plan and I think that I have one.  No one can get inside my mind, so less thinking of all of them is in order.   He is in the house and so less talking is in order.  Less texting is in order.  That is simple.  Skip a day.   Skip two.  Nothing obvious!!!!    All of these are small steps and can be accomplished easily.  It is up to me.

Today I will do a yoga home practice and read.  I'm going to make it a pleasant and quiet day.

Peace is in my soul.   I have buried the past.   I am in the now.

Thank you, Almighty for baby steps.

GRATEFUL FOR MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

I am grateful to the Almighty for leading me to MINDFULNESS MEDITATION.

I have had trouble cutting my losses.  I have done so with him.  However, it is more difficult with the older one. After all, I gave birth to her.  However, environmentally, she is just like him even though she was conceived by artificial insemination.    I  have held on too long to a relationship that doesn't exist, except in my mind.  

It is time to cut my losses.  I was wrong with my decision that we could be friends.  She wanted every other woman in the town EXCEPT me.  She made clear that she didn't value anything that I valued and yet I did not cut my losses.  The behavior is often described as, "throwing good money after bad."  I didn't want to feel that I had been wrong when my decision led to an undesirable outcome.  I continued this type of behavior even though we had July 31, 2012. This week, I tried to share that he was verbally abusing me  and how exhausted I was.   She hung up on me and never re-visited the discussion.  She had made her choice.  She had chosen him and I finally accepted it.   It was time to cut my losses. 

Through the years, I wasted time ( sleepovers at her apartment, come to the condo) in an attempt to regain my initial investment.  In other words, I refused to take, "NO" for an answer.  She finally stopped inviting me to sleep over because I didn't want to take her neighbor to dinner.  We could not go to town on Saturday night at the condo because she might see a neighbor that she wanted as her mother.   She stopped coming.

Mindfulness meditation is my attempt to make more rational decisions by considering the information in the present moment.  I will not focus on the past or future.  This will lead me to less negative emotion and will finally give me the ability to let go.  Once I let go, as with him, there is no going back.   This time, for my own health, I will do it.

I am grateful to the Almighty on this, the Sabbath before winter break for showing me mindfulness meditation.

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.

Yesterday was a snow day that I thoroughly enjoyed.  I finished a book and began another one.  I practiced yoga.  I was on the computer.  I texted friends.   I was grateful to have the day off.

I am grateful for my life.  I have grateful that I have given up false dreams and I am appreciating all that is good in my life.   I have a successful career.  I belong to a wonderful yoga studio.  I love my book discussions.  I love my memory workshops.   I love my synagogue.

I have begun to give up adolescent and false dreams.   I am different and enjoying my life.

This is the last day of work before vacation.   It has been a tough winter weather wise.  I have yoga, reading, and exercising planned for my stay-cation.   I am grateful to the Almighty for this.  He is lamenting that we didn't go on vacation.  I have so out grown that with him.  I am grateful.

Thank you, Almighty for my life.

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL EVENING/AND THEN A DAY OFF

I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful evening that I had yesterday.

I decided that I no longer needed a private lesson with Leslie and that it would be replaced by a LEVEL 1 class on Wednesday night.  That is exactly what I did.

The class was wonderful and she said something that I am going to use all the days of my life, starting now.  SHE SAID THAT ONE MUST LIVE IN THE NOW AND REMEMBER THAT EACH MOMENT COULD BE THE END!!!!!

After the class, I was going to attend a REIKI CLASS but I had a yearning for sushi.  I had 4 courses at my favorite Japanese restaurant without watching my diet.  I haven't watched my diet all week because I wanted to reward myself.  I will start again soon.  It was wonderful.

TODAY IS ANOTHER SNOW DAY.  I AM DELIGHTED!!!!!
 My intention today is TO BE!!!  I will RELAX, ENJOY, and BE!!!!  I'm going to read, do yoga and just enjoy.  I'm going to give up trying to connect to those that do not serve me so that I can heal!!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful evening that I had and the wonderfully relaxing day that I will have.

GRATEFUL FOR AN IMPORTANT REALIZATION

I am grateful to the Almighty for last night's realization.

I had a wonderful evening last night.   I took MYSELF out to dinner and then to a wonderful book discussion.   The treats were delicious and OMG, I gained weight which I now will have to loose. Come Spring, this up and down of dieting will be gone and exercise will be back in place.

He has a bacterial/and viral infection.  This did not prevent him from being sarcastic this morning as I put the wash in and he called me a robot.  I didn't answer.  I can't wait for the weather to change to be able to leave the house more frequently.

Tonight I'm going to yoga, reiki and dinner and I'm looking forward to it.

Last night, it was tough to sleep.  When that happens, I think and last night I had a major realization which will change my life.

I am guilty of creating FALSE DREAMS AND EXPECTATIONS for my older daughter as well as him.   I do this and then I get upset when they don't reach these expectations. I never look at the history of who these people are.   For example, I remember what she did on July 31, 2012.  Why did I tell her how he treats me, so she could claim to be busy and never discuss it again????

Can I not see how much alike they are?   Can I not see that it is not inherited, but environmental??  Can I not move forward with my own life burying the FALSE DREAMS and EXPECTATIONS, in effect burying my relationship with either of them.

It is time for me to move on with my life and STOP creating DREAMS and EXPECTATIONS that don't exist and will never exist.

This is my intention this year.

I am grateful to the Almighty for these realizations.

GRATEFUL FOR BOOK CLUB PLANS

I am grateful to the Almighty for my book club plans.

It is not going to snow today.  I have a book club at the library.    I am taking MYSELF out to dinner before the book discussion.   I am excited.

I gave myself a mini-vacation.  I told him that I was going to CO today and would speak to him in the late afternoon.  I did not text the older one.  She was no help yesterday.  She thinks that her father walks on water and didn't text me either.  

Last night I watched an ice race between two young men at the Olympics.  It was awesome.  I read my book and made my own dinner.  I'm loving making my own dinner because I really enjoy it and don't need to watch his miserable face as he eats it.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my book club plans and the simple joy I feel about the quiet of each day.

GRATEFUL FOR STRENGTH

I am grateful to the Almighty because HE has made me a strong person.

It could have been a difficult weekend with him, but it wasn't because I knew enough not to engage in too much conversation with him.  I did many activities that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Sunday was difficult because I slipped and tried to engage him in conversation. I thought that he would move forward and see the error of his ways.    This was NOT a good idea and it backfired in my face.   I did take myself out for dinner and invented friends that I had gone with.

I need in the future to really let go of thinking that he will change in any way and not answer his snide comments.

I managed to do that this morning as I got ready to drive myself to work because he had a doctor's appointment.  Remember his bad cold/flu/congestive heart failure??????  I admit that it is difficult because we are in the house together much too much.  However, each day is one day less!!!!

Today, I am proud to say that I drove myself to work.  That made my heart soar. 

I will read tonight and watch the Olympics.

My heart will soar.

Thank you, Almighty for my strength.

Later:  It's 11:43 AM.  And of course he's fine.  And of course he's sorry. However, this is why I'm not retiring or taking off days to be with him, or buying another condo.  Do I look crazy?????  

GRATEFUL FOR A BEAUTIFUL DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for a beautiful day.

Snow is on the ground and it is really cold.  I won't be able to walk outside.  However, I will be able to take my yoga class and walk at Home Depot.   I am grateful.

I will be able to do all my chores.  These are errands that I put off because of the snow.  I will read the newspapers and drink DD coffee.   I will read my book.

If the weather is decent, I may go out to dinner.  Otherwise, I will have a pleasant, quiet dinner at home and then read and watch the Olympics.

It was a brilliant decision to call the girls.   He knows that I can text the girls and that has kept him appropriate.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this beautiful day.

Later:   I had an incredible day.  He is so angry.  Suddenly his flu came back in full swing!!!!  I decided that even if it was snowing, I would go out to dinner. Armed with my book, I went to an Italian restaurant that I always go to and had dinner.   I told him that I was meeting friends.  I went with my best friend, MYSELF!!!!
           

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL SABBATH

I am so grateful to the Almighty for the absolutely wonderful Sabbath that I had.

I had notified the girls yesterday of his behavior and because they knew how he was acting, this morning he was thoroughly deflated.   This allowed me to have a calm and wonderful Sabbath.

I went to services and sat with my synagogue friends at services and kiddush.

I came home to read the newspapers and my book.

I walked at Home Depot and then I went to DD and read my book.

Tonight I will make dinner and watch the Olympics.  Not a word from him because he knew that I would snitch.

This made for a blessed Sabbath.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this day.

GRATEFUL TO THE ALMIGHTY FOR A BRILLIANT MOVE

I am grateful to the Almighty for a brilliant move.

I know that he has a bad cold.  He might have the flu.

His symptoms come and go.

He definitely doesn't have CHF, but he would have such joy scaring me.

I stayed at work longer to walk.

I called the girls with his symptoms.

He is really pissed at me.

What a brilliant move.

Thank you, Almighty for the brilliant move.

Good Shabbos.

GRATEFUL FOR REVELATIONS

I am grateful to the Almighty for the revelation that I had in the middle of the night.  IT IS GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE!!!!!!

I gave myself something to soar about yesterday when I had my hair colored and blown out.  I celebrated politically, as I told you, by taking him out to dinner.   At dinner, he proceeded to tell me how sick he is.  He has no appetite.  He is tired. He can't sleep at night. I should tell you that he has the common cold.  I should tell you that he naps during the day and does nothing to make himself better.  He complains that he can't sleep at night.  If you nap during the day, you can't sleep at night. I should tell you that he ate his entire burger.  This week his appetite included many muffins and pasta for dinner.    And on and on......................

I realized that this conversation is the only thing that he has control of. He would love to give me anxiety.   I listened and commented appropriately.   I went home to watch the Olympics without telling him.  I enjoyed it.  I have gained weight from munching what I shouldn't but will loose it when the weather changes.  I am enjoying my life.

In the middle of the night, I awoke with a revelation that is very amazing.   IT WILL CHANGE MY LIFE.    I REALIZED THAT MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!!!!    I ALSO REALIZED THAT I WAS GUILTY OF ADOLESCENT DREAMS!!!!! 

I based marriage, not on my parents who were dysfunctional to say the least, but on films that I saw especially those with GEORGE HAMILTON.   At least, I experienced marriage, and now I can move on.   I based children on having my own children, not involving artificial insemination. At least I experienced children.   Both these experiences were not based on reality. Both were failures.  Both were based upon ADOLESCENT DREAMS.

My dreams of a wonderful career was my own, created by me.  It was successful because it was benchmarked in reality and it is mine.

I am grateful to the Almighty that I had this revelation, especially before Shabbos.

I am also grateful to the Almighty because I was able to drive myself to work TODAY!!  Remember, I'm a yogi and I live in the moment!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A WORK DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is a work day.

I will work all day at a career that I enjoy.  After work I am getting my hair colored and cut.  Then I am going out to dinner with him.  It is a political move because I am paying for dinner.  After all, he does drive me to work and back.

It has been working because of what I have learned in yoga.  I live in the moment always.  I remember to let go of that which doesn't serve me so that I can survive.

Yesterday was a wonderful snow day.  I balanced pleasure and did some work for school at home.  I even did some chores.   

I am grateful to the Almighty that today is a work but more than that I am grateful that winter is moving on.  Things are being accomplished.  Appropriate decisions are being made because of valid information.   I am living in the moment and moving on.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.

GRATEFUL FOR A SNOW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for another snow day.  This makes the second one, but there is a big storm coming over the weekend.

I was really bright to get the rest of the Triad involved in his behaviors.  He has quieted down for now because I can always, text or e-mail them.  No real conversation is necessary with them.  However, they call him with suggestions and this does not sit well with them. It never does with a bully.   I understand that this is only a stop gap measure until the snow thaws, but I will take it. The threat of not retiring or buying another condo works too.  

 He drove me home and I returned my library book.  

We both make our own dinners which suits me fine.  I no longer have to listen to his complaints.

Santos has already come to shovel.  I brought work home to begin.  I can read, go on FACEBOOK, text and enjoy my life.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this snow day.

GRATEFUL FOR WORKING

I am grateful to the Almighty because I got to go to work today.

After a snow day with him, and a 3 day weekend to listen to him and make sure that I am safe, it is wonderful to be able to go to work.  Another storm is predicted for tomorrow. Oh MY GOODNESS!!!!

It is a winter wonderland outside.  Everything is frozen and everything has been cancelled.  My Sisterhood meeting, where we were to discuss the novel, HUSH, has been postponed until March 4th.  I am not going to yoga obviously.

My heart will soar today because I am at work.  After work, I will walk.  He will pick me up to return a book to the library and then I will make dinner and read.  We make separate dinners now because he hates what I make.  I'm having tofu which I love.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I got to go to work today.

GRATEFUL FOR A SNOW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have a snow day today.

I had a wonderful day yesterday.  It was a spring day.  I got to walk, do yoga, go to WW, do chores, drink DD coffee, read newspapers and I went for an amazing manicure-pedicure.  I did go out to dinner with him, to a restaurant where I could watch the Super Bowl.

I called both members to the triad to go on record about his antics.   Dana got it, but Hilary is obsessed with him eating appropriately and wanting me to go to groups with him.  I've been there and done that.  It's over.

It's a snow day today.  I'm just relaxing.  I never get to do this.  I started to think about retirement again.  I am in control of my life.  We will see what happen.  Why punish myself for the mistakes of others????

I'm of to have breakfast, read and relax.

Thank you, Almighty for this gift of a snow day.

GRATEFUL FOR THE WEATHER

I am grateful to the Almighty because it is warm  (I am actually wearing shorts) and the snow melted!!!!!

Tomorrow it will snow again.   However, I'm living in the moment and enjoying every single moment,   I will with the help of the Almighty, drive myself to work tomorrow.  The thought of dealing with him is enough to motivate me.

I am proud to say that even though he tried to be horrible all weekend, every activity that I decided to was done joyfully.   

Today, he has a cold and so he will be quiet.  He is trying to convince me that he is dying, but it's not working.

I walked this morning before my yoga class and got a phone call from the younger one.  She is not really part of the triad, so I told her how her father's antics were not keeping him healthy.  She will speak to the older one.

MEANWHILE, IT IS QUIET!!!!  After I walked, I went to an enjoyable yoga class.  Then I picked up organic fruit at FRESH PRODUCE.  I put gas in the truck, which came back on Friday, and got weighted at WEIGHT WATCHERS.  I bought my DD and read both newspapers.

The doggie went outside on the deck.

I am going for a mani/pedi and then out to dinner without him because he has a cold.

Thank you, Almighty for this beautiful weather!!!!!

GRATEFUL THAT IT IS WARMER

I am grateful to the Almighty because it is warmer and the snow has melted.

MY LIFE IS BACK!!!!!!  I don't know for how long that will be.  However, I live in the moment and it is warmer and the snow has melted.

My truck is back from the body shop.  It has a new bumper.

I was able to go to services today which was beyond wonderful!!!!!  I was able to see my synagogue friends.

Now I'm going to walk and then read the papers and my book.

I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN AGAIN ABOUT MY LITTLE LIFE.   This was the Almighty's way of showing me what a wonderful life I have and I am grateful.