GRATEFUL FOR A TIME TO PLAN

I am grateful to the Almighty because he has given me the time to plan how to handle myself this summer.

I went to a wonderful retirement party last night.  He drove and picked me up so that I could drink.  That was nice.

He had had a good checkup at the kidney doctor and so to "celebrate", and here I'm being sarcastic, he decided to repeat the name, "Shula", Izzy's mother's name, over and over again, like a mantra. If he said it enough, I would get upset was his thought.

It was the same way he would start the conversation about Jeff Rosen last summer.  We know what happened on July 31, 2012.

 That will not happen again.   I know the deck of cards that I was dealt.  I have ways to play the hand.     Reading is one.  Taking Matzah to a dog park is another.  There are other activities that I am involved in.  I have joined the town pool.   I attend services.  I walk.  I do yoga.

I understand the power of stillness.   I know when to leave a room, or a house in order to be safe.

I know that I do not have to justify what I do and I won't.

I will be safe because I have made up my mind to do this.  He will not succeed this time.

Isn't it sad though, that this is the end of a marriage??  But, it really is and to be realistic, there really never was a marriage............just a man abusing a woman!!  There was also a woman answering everything.   That has stopped.

I think less time at that condo is another option.  Even selling it would be an option.

My intention is to have a quality summer.  It will happen because I am aware of what he does and will not make the same mistake twice.

I am grateful to the Almighty for planning this through and being aware of him.