There will be changes in my personality as I "act." I will need to practice STILLNESS at all times because he will be looking to "get me." This means that I will need to be non-judgemental and non-emotional about everything. I MUST continue to speak in my QUIET LITTLE VOICE. When he makes a sarcastic remark or a remark to scare me, I will listen respectfully, making little or no comment. I will commit to memory, " I WILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT! I will not make suggestions about plans, leaving that up to him to lead. I will continue to make plans for myself and invite him to join me. The answer will always be, "NO!"
I will need to structure my day and have thought about that. In the early morning, I will say my mantra and will MEDITATE outside on the deck. Some days, I can attend morning MINYON. Then I will WALK. I will come back and make NONSENSE CHIT-CHAT. Then I will go to get coffee at Dunkin' Donuts. I might take the dog. I will have a late breakfast and read the papers.
Afternoons can be a problem especially if I have a plan with a friend. The idea is to be very quiet. I don't have to justify what I do. I don't have to make suggestions. I just have to be in the present.
Evenings can be a problem especially if I have an activity or am going to see a friend.
IT'S UP TO ME!!!!! HE HAS SAID THAT HIS AIM IS TO MAKE ME AS MISERABLE AS HE IS.
I HAVE CHOICES. I CAN LET HIM GET ME OR I CAN PRACTICE STILLNESS and use my little voice.
The CHOICE is mine!!
I went to dinner with a dear friend after yoga. I need to continue to make plans. I came home and was asked NOTHING and so I said NOTHING! The choice is mine and I'm proud of me!!!!! Dinner was wonderful!!!! It's great to have friends that have been with you for years.
I went to dinner with a dear friend after yoga. I need to continue to make plans. I came home and was asked NOTHING and so I said NOTHING! The choice is mine and I'm proud of me!!!!! Dinner was wonderful!!!! It's great to have friends that have been with you for years.
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