GRATITUDE FOR YOGA AND A WALK

I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful yoga class that I had this morning and for the walk that I just took.

The theme of my yoga classes this week was not to make New Year Resolutions which one doesn't keep shortly after one makes them.

Yogis create intentions.

I created intentions for the new year.  Here they are:

INTENTIONS FOR 2015
*  I will honor myself.
*  I will celebrate my successes and accomplishments.
*  I will celebrate my retirement.
*  I will accept myself and my life and be content.
*  I will show perception.
*  I will be authentic.

I hung these up in my music room.  After I say my mantras I can think of these daily.

I took a wonderful walk in the freezing weather this afternoon.  

In keeping with my intention to be authentic, I decided NOT to go out New Years Eve again. That would not be a real experience.

I'm proud of me.

Thank you, almighty for sending me yoga and for this wonderful walk.

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW YEAR

I am grateful to the Almighty for giving me a beautiful New Year.

My intention this year is to honor myself.  I will say and do things that with the help of the Almighty will keep me healthy and happy.   

My intention is to really see the authentic me.  I will see who I am and will be able with the help of the Almighty to keep myself healthy and happy.

I will see things in perspective.  At this point in my life, I've done the best that I could do and I must accept this.

A New Year is like a new snowfall.  One must tread lightly if one is to survive and be careful of the steps one takes.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this New Year.

Thank you!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MORE NEW WORDS

I am grateful to the Almighty because I went to yoga this morning and learned another important term that I intend to use all year long:

HONOR YOURSELF

I intent to spend the year honoring myself.   I will see to it that I come first and this will make me healthy and happy.

Thank you, Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW WORD

I am grateful to the Almighty because I went to Leslie's yoga class yesterday. 

Her word for the new year is: PERSPECTIVE.   I will use it as my word too.  Perspective will allow me to be healthy and happy as I begin to see things from different points of view and make myself most important to myself.  At this point in my life, it's about me.

I used this idea already.  The older one is planning her wedding.  I told her that she needs kosher food and a rabbi as is proper in a Jewish wedding.  The rest is her choice.

I feel better already.

I saw the film WILD yesterday.  It was amazing.

I had Greek food for dinner too.

I'm off to take a yoga class today.

This afternoon I'm getting a mani/pedi.

I won't walk today and might take a second yoga class instead.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Thank you!!!

GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHER REALIZATION

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have had another realization which will serve me very well.

I am too hard on myself.    I try too hard.   This is retirement.  I need to relax.

I am grateful to the Almighty because he has shown his true colors early.   I do not have to buy another condo with him.   I do not need to go on vacations with him.  I can just enjoy my very own life.

I can just "be."

Today I will walk.   I will attend my yoga class.

I will enjoy my life.

I am grateful to you, Almighty for this realization.

Thank you!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY BIRTHDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for allowing me to experience another healthy birthday.

I am grateful for so many things:
* I'm healthy
* I have the Almighty in my life.
* I have retired.
* My girls are healthy.
* I have activities that I enjoy.
* I have friends to do things with.
* I am making appropriate decisions for myself.
* I have the money to be independent.

My intention this year is not to let my adversaries in my life get the best of me.

Thank you, Almighty for all the gifts in my life.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Today I awoke happily realizing that I am a new person who cannot be fooled and is in charge of herself.

He promised to change.  That stupid, I'm not.  It's time to be quiet and move on.

I went to services and enjoyed both the service, the friends and the extended kiddush which the congregation was invited to because the cantor's son was called to the Torah before his wedding.  Little did I know that the cantor and his wife are also marred 43 years but their's is a marriage of true happiness unlike mine.  

That aside, I came home to walk, and read. 

Thank you, Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful to the Almighty for all my new realizations.

GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH

I am grateful to the Almighty because tonight is the beginning of the Sabbath.

I am having a day that is filed with joy.  

It was amazing that I was able to walk outside for two hours.  I then completed errands and now I am getting ready for the Sabbath.

I have been quiet with him.  He is very frustrated with this approach and is probably waiting for me to stop.   I'm not going to.  I answer every comment with a mirror comment including the fact that he is moving up his doctor appointment and I'm moving up mine too.

Retirement is a new door that I am opening.  It is my door and  am opening it joyfully.

Thank you, Almighty for the Sabbath.

GRATITUDE FOR YOGA

I am grateful to the Almighty because He made it possible for me to learn about yoga.

I have learned so much.  

Yesterday I learned that I was put on this earth to have joy.  I am.  I am also trying to let go of that which doesn't serve me so that I can heal.  It isn't easy because there are so many habits that need to be broken but I will try.

Today I will be able to walk outside.  It looks beautiful.  The yoga studio is closed today so I will be able to relax, read and drink DD coffee.


Retirement is definitely not easy with him in the house but it is definitely a work in progress.  There are so many topics that can't be discussed and as we hit one, I add it to my list.  So far we have:  

* NEIGHBORS
* THE SYNAGOGUE AND RABBI
* VACATIONS
* CONDOS
* DOCTORS
* FRIENDS
* WHERE THE DOG EATS

It's getting to be peaceful and quiet here.  I am experiencing joy too.  I am letting go of all my anger.   Yesterday I told him that I would like to be treated with the qualities of a supervisor.   He won't do it and I won't speak.  Then how sad for him, there can't be a fight!!!!!

Yoga has taught me how to do this.

I am grateful to the Almighty for sending me yoga.

Thank you!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR LIVING IN JOY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I just completed the most wonderful yoga class.

It was an All Levels class and I learned that yogis wanted to live in joy.

I came home to another one of his temper tantrums.  However this time I thought of myself as a supervisor, spoke like a supervisor and told him that when I worked, I didn't allow my teachers to repeat themselves.   If he had nothing new to say, he should be quiet.

I did not allow him to take me down a different road.  He is upset about this because he can't threaten or play gotcha.

It was easy to do because at this point it's over me me.

I am grateful that I live in joy.

Thank you, Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR THE CALMNESS THAT I FEEL

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am happy and feeling calm, content and quiet.

I have begun to transfer my "work personality" to home and that has made all the difference for me.

Yesterday was a very peaceful day complete with a chicken dinner!!!!

Today is Christmas Day and everything except DD is closed.

I am off to take a yoga class and then to enjoy the peace of the day.

I will read, drink DD coffee and listen to music.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am feeling peaceful.

Thank you, Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL YEAR

I am grateful to the Almighty for the wonderful year that I have had.

I am grateful that I retired.

I am grateful for this wonderful day.

I was able to secure the two parts of me and I am proud of myself.

I told an amazing yoga class.

I went to the butcher and I am having chicken for dinner.

I finished my book.

I'm sitting in the music room listening to music while a candle burns.

Best of all,  I am using my work personality at home and I am calm and content.

Thank you, Almighty for the decision to retire and helping me to see who I really am.

I am grateful!!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING STRONG

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am a strong and competent woman.

I am in the process of putting the two halves of me together and then I'm going to be amazing.

Today I will take a yoga class and then read an enjoyable book.

He will try all sorts of antics and I will treat him as a supervisor does.

I realized that I was too young when this started.  After my mother died in 1984, I escaped by working.  I now have to deal with this and I know exactly what to do.

I think the Almighty gave me this racing heart so I would move forward and change.

Thank you, Almighty for my strength and intelligence.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW REALIZATION

I am grateful to the Almighty for a new realization that I had this afternoon.

I realized that the entire relationship that I had with him was based on me trying to please him. It was as though I was divided into two distinct halves.   I took direction from competent people all through my working years.  They never changed the directions even though they might have tweaked them before I started.  I know what to do.  I knew how to do whatever it was and it was done in a timely fashion.   I was always praised for my ability and motivation.

I could never please him because the relationship was set up as one of control.  I could only fail doing this because I was never sure as to what I was supposed to do.  Everything was doomed to failure.  There was nothing that was shared and there were no compromises.

Even though he was a bully, I fed into this because I had no self-esteem thanks to what my family of origin had done to me.

I had this realization after my first yoga class today.  I decided to let him know that I was bringing back my work personality.  He could be in charge.  He could make decisions.  Whatever he wanted was fine.  He could decide to buy a condo or not................................

This did not sit well with him because he had lost control of me.    He told me that he was leaving.  I never responded.  He never left.

I feel so much better because I am in control of myself.

Thank you, Almighty for this realization.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR BEING INTELLIGENT

I am grateful to the Almighty because He made me an intelligent human being.

I am beginning to realize that there is a downside to retirement.  One has too much time to think about the past and that can create depression.

Therefore from this time forth when I catch myself doing this I will STOP and remind myself of my blessings.

I took the echo test yesterday and the technician said that what she saw was fine.  I do wonder what is causing the racing heartbeat.  My guess is that it's probably stress.  I notice that my weight has gone down too, to one hundred pounds.  Whenever I am around him this happens and because it is winter, I'm around him a great deal.  I will have to watch this.

I'm on my way to yoga and then I will do some errands.

I plan to take a Restorative Yoga class tonight.

Thank you, Almighty for making me intelligent so that I can make changes in my life.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR FINDING MY WAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am slowly finding my way with him.

It's been a difficult road BUT I am slowly learning how to behave when I am around him.

Today I go for the echocardiogram.

With the help of the Almighty, I will be fine.

I am grateful for all of my new observations.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am alive and healthy on this new day.

Today I will walk at Home Depot and take a yoga class.

Matzah is going for his dog grooming.

I had gone to Dr. B.Well Naturally on Friday and gotten a natural mood enhancer and I'm happy to say that it is working.  I feel a great deal better.  My shoulder is also better and my life is moving ahead.

Synagogue services were wonderful years.  Talking to my "synagogue buddies" was fun.  I did not make more of it than I had to.  He decided not to go out last night, but leave it to little resourceful me.   I made dinner, read my book in my music room and watched a sci-fi special on HBO.  I even did the laundry and some straightening up.

I was proud of me.

Thank you, Almighty for a new day.

I am grateful.

REALITY

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me a shot of reality and I have taken it.

Today I went to services which I really enjoyed.  I did not let anyone bother me.  I understood that these were synagogue friends and I did not up my expectations.

I came home and although he promised me a condo, I knew better than to expect it as I have realized that he lies.

I am not worried about my echocardiagram because whatever will be will be.

I am enjoying this Sabbath afternoon.

Thank you, Almighty for putting me in touch with reality.

GRATEFUL FOR MY CHECKUPS

I am grateful to the Almighty that my doctor checkup and my periodontist checkup are over and were good ones.

I still have to take the echocardiogram on Monday.  Hopefully with the Almighty's help, it will be fine.

I'm off to take not one but two yoga classes.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my life.

Thank you.

GRATEFUL FOR MY CHECKUP

I am grateful to the Almighty because my checkup was a very good one.

I do have to go back on Monday for an echocardiagram  as my heart was racing in the office. 

The doctor said that my shoulder pain probably comes from the stress that I have been feeling.

Today I am going to get my hair colored and blown out.

I also have a periodontist appointment.

I hope that my bonding remains in tack.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my checkup.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR STRENGTH

I am grateful to the Almighty for making me a strong person.

The younger now who was a lesbian, then married a Jamaican Jewish Orthodox Black man has now become transgender.

The older one is marrying the Iraqi.

We are not buying a new condo out east. 

Everyday I get hit with new and wonderful pieces of information.

Today I am going to the doctor and getting the results of my checkup.

No wonder that my shoulder hurts.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my strength.

Thank you, Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR RETIREMENT

I am grateful to the Almighty because I retired.

I am learning to rest, relax and enjoy the activities that I choose.

I have gotten off the treadmill.

I am grateful.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR A BEAUTIFUL MONDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is Monday and it is a beautiful day and I'm going to enjoy it.

Thank you Almighty for this day.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for a new day.

Thank you so much.

GRATEFUL FOR NEW DREAMS IN MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for burying old dreams and creating new ones.

It definitely is time for that.

Thank you, Almighty for this realization.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING TO RELAX

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have learned to relax.

In doing this, I have thought about lots of things and moved forward with changes to be made in my life.

Thank you Almighty.  I never relaxed before and I'm learning how.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR LEARNING TO RELAX

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have learned to relax.

I actually watched tv today.

I'm going to do it again!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

I'm going to have to re-vamp my schedule.  I will be walking more at Home Depot due to bad weather.   I am going to create more interesting projects to do.  Right now, I'm listening to soothing meditation music.  I will read more and all in all this period of hibernation will pass and it will be Spring again.

Yesterday we had a nor'easter and it was wonderful to know that I didn't have to get up early to go to work.  I had some projects in mind and thy were completed in a timely fashion.  The weather let up and I politically went out to dinner with him in order to go to my book discussion which I really enjoyed.

This morning I awoke early.  My pressure was good and I realized that my shoulder pain had lessened.  It is probably a combination of a yoga problem/stress.  Living with him isn't easy but I'm watching what he does, how he responds, how he complains nation wide, how he makes promises that are lies and how I react.  I am inside a great deal more now and with him around it can be stressful.  

Today I'm going to a Lunch and Learn.  I will walk at Home Depot.  Tonight is Sisterhood Bingo. 

In between I will read, drink DD coffee and start my new book.

I am in the process of keeping a task analysis of his activities to better prepare myself for emotional reactions.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR A RAINY DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because it is raining today.

This will definitely allow me to relax.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with him and to my book club.

I am grateful for a rainy day.

GRATEFUL TO THE ALMIGHTY FOR MYSELF

I am grateful to the Almighty because even after all the verbal abuse that I have had to suffer I have not lost sight of who I am and what I have accomplished.

It has been a little rough at times culminating in this condo purchasing scam.  I think that I have a better insight into the devious things that he can do so that I will never be taken in again.  I worked for a very long time and was out of the house so I didn't spend that much time with him.  Since I am above board and honest, it never ceases to amaze me at what a lier he is.

I am feeling much better both physically and emotionally and it will be a long time until I get taken in again.

Today I did many things in reverse.  

I attended my yoga class.

I attended a wonderful book discussion.

I'm hoping to walk inside at Home Depot later.

I'm hoping to watch a film later too.

Thank you, Almighty for helping me not to loose sight of who I am and the things that I have accomplished.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A CALM MIND

I am grateful to the Almighty because I went to yoga this morning, after I walked.   The instructor talked about having a calm mind in order to solve problems.

That's exactly what I have been doing and it is really working.

I decided to do this after discovering that we are not going to buy the Westhampton Pines Timberidge Condominium.  He didn't want to spend the money.  This would have been fine with me except he spent two years looking for a condo out east with me only to decide not to purchase one.  What a complete waste of my time.  He doesn't read or have activities so this filled up his time.  However it was a real waste of my time.  Truth be told, I didn't really want to purchase one with him.  I am content and happy with my life.  Making a purchase like this could only stir up issues.  However I still don't enjoy my time being wasted.

I also realized that he sets up conversation just to cause controversy. I created a slogan of 4 topics that don't have to be discussed and I called them N.E.C.K.   The N stands for neighbors, friends and family.   The E stands for Ellen.   The C stands for condo and the K stands for kids. I announced that if there is something to talk about we can speak otherwise it can just be quiet.

This is working beautifully.  I walked this morning at Home Depot.  I took a yoga class.  I did some errands.  I read the newspapers with DD coffee.  All the while he keeps asking what is wrong.  Nothing is wrong.  I'm just not wasting more time.

My instructor was correct.  You need a calm mind in order to solve problems.

I am grateful that I heard this.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL THAT IT IS RAINING

I am grateful to the Almighty because it is raining and I can relax.

I went to services on a cold and rainy day.  I hung out with friends.

I am happy that it is raining because I can relax and read my latest book.

Perhaps I will walk at Home Depot.

I know for certain that I will breathe quietly, talk less and relax.

Thank you, Almighty for this day.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR INTELLIGENCE

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has made me a very bright individual.

Last night my shoulder hurt very badly and I was up a lot.  I was also crying softly so that he would not hear.  It is very frustrating living with him as I can now see that his main goal is to upset me.  Although I realize this it is very hard to tolerate.  I will give you an example.  He actually set up a date with a real estate broker out east to purchase a condo which on his own, he was very excited about.  I agreed.  Two days later he told me that he was too old to buy another condo, it would involve too much fixing up, and it was too expensive for the time we would use it.  I agreed.  He changed his mind.  This is the way I was trapped into marriage, with many lies.  I HATE CONFUSION.

I have come up with goals that I will follow in order to make this relationship a quiet one.  Here they are:

l.  There must be quiet conversation. (He would like nothing better than to create a fight and call 911.)

2.  He must be consistent in what he says.  What he says needs to be thought through.  I will write down and have him sign what he says if I deem it to be important.

3.  Conversation must be positive OR there needs to be no conversation at all.

4.  I will only make positive comments about anything.  That will surely shut him down.


I will survive this because I am a bright and capable woman who celebrates her accomplishments and has buried dreams and lives in the present.

Today, I was able to walk and take a wonderful yoga class.

Tonight is the Sabbath.

I am grateful to the Almighty who has given me intelligence and helped me to figure this out.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY HEALTH

I am grateful to the Almighty for my good health.

Today I went for my blood/urine test.  I hope that I will be fine after my checkup.

I walked for two hours today.  It was sunny, cold and beautiful.

My yoga class was amazing.

I read the newspapers with DD coffee.

He found a condo that he wanted to buy.  Now he doesn't want to buy it.  All in an attempt to make me crazy.   It didn't succeed. I NEVER raised my voice no matter what he said.    We are having dinner home tonight.  I reached a point where I can't do pretend conversation.  I am proud of myself.  Truthfully, nothing needs to be purchased.  I am finally out of the hole. Why make it larger????

Now he likes the girls.  I agreed that I do also.  Everyone loves confusion!!!!  I'm getting good at this.

I hope that my blood/urine test was good.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my good heath.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

I walked this morning for an hour at Home Depot because it was raining.

Then it was off to Mel's yoga class.

I read the newspapers with DD coffee.

Tonight we will be going to Cinema Arts to see Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary talk about the group.  It's the 50th anniversary.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Thank you!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR HAPPINESS

I am grateful to the Almighty for the happiness that I feel in my everyday life.  I am trying very hard to let go of that which doesn't serve me and I believe that I am succeeding.

Today I walked for an hour on a very cold and dreary day.  I mailed bills.  Tomorrow I will walk inside.  It was freezing.

I enjoyed my yoga class a great deal.

I read the newspapers with DD coffee and soon will go to get a mani/pedicure.

I am enjoying my book for one of the clubs that I attend.

I am happy.

Thank you Almighty for the gift of happiness.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Recently I was caught up thinking about things and people who were cruel to me in the past.  I think that this is why my shoulder was hurting.   I have moved forward and am making a big effort not to discuss anyone who did not "serve me" in the past.  That way I can heal.

Yesterdays film, THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING, the story of Stephen Hawkings was excellent as was dinner.

I walked this morning on a beautiful and warm December day.

I had a really good workout in my yoga class.

I am going to choose a ring for my birthday present this afternoon.

We have The Jewish Institute tonight.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Thank you!!!!

GRATEFUL THAT I'M LETTING GO OF THAT WHICH DOESN'T SERVE ME

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am letting go of that which doesn't serve me so that I can heal.

I am still in a state of shock that he didn't want to go on Thanksgiving to have dinner with them.  Could it be that the younger one was going "on vacation?"  Could it be that it was to be a 90 minute dinner?  Could it be that he finally saw what I have been seeing?

The younger one who is now transgender NEVER went on vacation but was invited by the older one to a dinner last night!!!!

He has decided to buy another condo!!!  Let's see if this happens.............

I watched PETER, PAUL and MARY sing last night on Channel 21 for their 50th anniversary. I wondered where the girl that I was went.  This was a very strong, assertive person.  

I have decided to move forward with my own life so that I can heal.  It's time to be polite and to move forward.

Today I walked and went to yoga.

We are going to see a film tonight and then to dinner.

I'm moving forward and closing doors behind me.

Thank you, Almighty for helping me to let go.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING CONTENT AND HAPPY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am content and happy with my life.

The weather has gotten colder and that means that although I have my activities, I have to spend more time indoors.  This is not good.  I have to spend more time around him and like any normal person memories come up.  At first I wan't acting on them, but then I got tremendous shoulder pain that kept me up all night.  I realized that this wan't good so I spoke to him about my rage.  This made me even angrier because he feels that he is right about all he has done and I revert back to my old ways of talking and explaining.

I realized last night that I was being sucked into a void.  The void of being unhappy and discontent.  The void of wasting precious time on a time line.

I have decided to stop all this chatter and when I find a need to talk because he says or does something that I feel needs talking about, I will leave the house.  I can always read in Starbucks or the library.

That strategy will work and I will again be happy and content with my life.

I had forgotten what yoga taught me and will live in the present. The past can only make me depressed, angry and sad.

I have decided NOT to attend services today.  I didn't do anything on Thanksgiving and I don't feel like making up stories.

I will walk today on a really cold day.  This afternoon we will shut down the condo until next year.  There will be no more discussion about a new condo!!!  I told him how I didn't trust his relationship with people and why go through the work of buying something new?  At least I got that off my chest.

I finished a book which I found to be terrible and have started a new one which is quite good.

I'm back on track and hope to remain enjoying my new life and being happy and content for a long time.

Thank you, Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING ABLE TO SPEAK

I am grateful to the Almighty because I found my voice again and I speak without any fear.

While it is true that I speak in a low voice, I get my point across and that is the main thing. My shoulder was really hurting because I was holding in all of my feelings.  I took the plunge and I feel much better.  

It doesn't matter what the issues are.  It matters that I found my voice.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR THE GIFT OF THANKSGIVING

I am grateful to the Almighty for the gift of Thanksgiving.

The younger one is "going on vacation" and couldn't have Thanksgiving.   He didn't want to see the fiancee or the family and so we are not traveling for Thanksgiving.  We weren't even asked to come up to the apartment.  It snowed yesterday and HE DECIDED NOT TO GO!!!!! I texted her and have not heard back.  I told her that he had a bad cold.  One dishonest person knows another. Let's see what happens!!!!

I am elated!!!  A quiet day of thanks to the Almighty for all the blessings that he has given me.

I will write more later.  This story hasn't ended.  I'm going to walk now.

Later:  One dishonest person does know another one.  She did not believe that he had a cold.  She knows that he hates the fiancee.  That's a taste of her own medicine.

             I am having a wonderful day.  My shoulder pain is gone.  My pressure is good. I walked for two hours.  I read both newspapers.  I'm cooking veggies for dinner. I will finish the book that I really don't like and will watch an HBO show that we taped.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the gift of Thanksgiving!!!!
             

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

I have been a little off these days, looking at other people and envying them.  Yoga has changed that.  I now have an attitude of gratitude for my very own life.

Things could have been a lot worse.  Those girls could have been handicapped and still living with me.  I could not be healthy.  I could have no pension, no activities, no religion..................and on an on.

I am grateful for my very own life.

Last night we again went out to dinner and to Cinema Arts to see Birdman.

Today I'm walking at Home Depot and going to yoga.

Life is good.

Thank you, Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

I'm working hard to get rid of old memories that interfere with my new found happiness.

With the Almighty's help, I will succeed.

Thank you Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHER REALIZATION

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new realizations!!!!

It is a transition when you retire.  It is change.  It allows you to think of things that you don't want to think about.  I'm beginning to realize this and I am going to make changes in my life to be able to move forward.

The younger one is NOT coming for Thanksgiving. She is going on vacation.  She has now, after being gay, marrying an Orthodox black man and divorcing him,  decided to become TRANSGENDER.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!  I am working on moving on.  I will succeed!!!!!

Last night we saw the film, Whiplash.  It was excellent. 

Today I will walk, probably in Home Depot and then take a yoga class. I it clears up as it promises to do I will walk the extra hour outside.

The  Jewish Adult Institute courses meet tonight and we will attend.

With the help of the Almighty, I will come to new realizations and move forward with my life. I will have an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE so that I can LET GO THAT WHICH DOESN'T SERVE ME AND HEAL!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for this.

GRATEFUL FOR REALIZATIONS

I am grateful to the Almighty because I realized that I am responsible for myself and I need to bury the child-like dreams.

Weekends are hard for me because I am around him more.  You can't speak to him about anything and that is hard for me because I enjoy talking.  HE HATES EVERYONE AND DOESN'T MISS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SAY NASTY THINGS ABOUT ANYONE THAT I LIKE.

It's time to stop talking about anyone.

It's time to accept the life that I was given and enjoy what I have.

It may not be much, but it's all that I have.

Thank you, Almighty for this realization.

I am grateful!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is the Sabbath.

It will be filled with services, reading, walking and an Apple lesson.

I am grateful to the Almighty for the Sabbath.

GRATFUL FOR THE DAY!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.  I am grateful for the day.  Tonight is the Sabbath.  I am grateful for that.

I received a phone call yesterday from the Plainview PACE Program asking me to volunteer and I agreed.

Yesterday I walked for not 2 but 3 hours.  It was wonderful.  I got a wonderful color and haircut from Nick and Louie.  I went out to dinner with BOCES friends and had a wonderful time.   I came home to watch Parenthood.  It was a great evening.

Today it's still freezing outside but I will walk.

I'm taking a yoga class too.

I am grateful for my new life and this wonderful day.

Thank you, Almighty!!!

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR HAPPINESS

I am grateful to the Almighty because in retirement, I am experiencing happiness.

I have to realize that happiness is not perfect and I have to enjoy my new life.  I do.

Last night I enjoyed going out to dinner with my Sisterhood friends.  There conversation is a bit different from the intellectual conversation that I had at work, but it's fine.   I enjoyed the book club a great deal.

Today I'm going to walk outside.  It's cold but I can't stand to walk in a store.  I will cut the walk down in length.

It's a busy day.  I have yoga and I am getting my hair colored and cut. I'm having dinner with a fried from work.

Life is good and I am happy.

Thank you Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

It's been a few months since I retired and I had forgotten how enjoyable it is NOT TO WORK, NOT TO HIDE OUT AT WORK!!!!!   Instead I was having a pity-party for the things that I don't have.  That's going to stop right now!!!!!  I am going to enjoy each day of my life and the newness that it brings.  I am not going to get involved with people who are TOXIC for me or who look down at me because I don't have the typical life that they have or are jealous of me because I am retired and have a pension.

I am going to enjoy each and everything that I do.

Last night I went to a Rod Stewart musical presentation at Cinema Arts with him.  It was quite good and we enjoyed it.  He wasn't half bad.  I know what he is and I know how to handle him. That's what matters.

My shoulder still hurts but it too is improving.

It's FREEZING out there.  I will walk at HOME DEPOT and will walk only for one hour like I did when I was working.

I have a yoga class today.

Today is the YOGA BOOK CLUB.

I also have dinner out and a SISTERHOOD BOOK CLUB to attend this evening.

Life is good.  I had forgotten the joy of not working.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

GRATEFUL FOR NEW FRIENDS

I am grateful to the Almighty for the new friends that I have made at yoga.

Yesterday I went out to breakfast with Debbie and Grace.  It was pleasant and a lot of fun.  I told them about my shoulder pain and they gave me advice which was very helpful.  It still hurts but not as much.

Last night was my course at The Adult Institute.   The lecture afterwards about the bombing in Beruit in 1983 was very interesting.

Today I won't be able to walk outside.   I will walk at Home Depot in the afternoon.  It is 20 degrees outside and very windy!!!!!

I have errands to do at the bank and at Harmon's.

I will read my new book, and newspapers and drink DD coffee.

I'm taking a new yoga class called Prana Yama Yoga this morning.

I'm excited!!!!

Tonight we will go to Cinema Arts.  There will be a film of the work of Rod Stewart and a reception.  As it works out, Debbie and Grace will be there.

Thank you Almighty for new friends and acquaintances.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR LETTING GO!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty because I have learned to let go that which doesn't serve me so that I can heal.

This can be difficult  when those people are constantly in my face but I will try.  I have a really bad pain in my shoulder from this.  It's tough to do but with the help of the Almighty, I will succeed.

Today I will walk at Home Depot for an hour because it is raining.

I will take a yoga class.

I'm going out to breakfast with some new friends.

Tonight, I have my course at the Jewish Institute.

It's a full day of fun activities.

I will work on letting go of that which doesn't serve me.

Thank you, Almighty for helping me to do this.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING QUIET

I am grateful to the Almighty because I finally have learned to be quiet.

Quiet has so many advantages.  I can see the beauty of the day.  I can enjoy my new life.  I can do so many nice things.  Nothing upsets me because I am quiet.  I never answer.

Yesterday for example was the Sabbath.  When I arrived home from services I was told that he was going to Bed and Bath to return sheets.  I never responded and that probably upset him.  Later I decided to show him how little I cared about what he did by sending him again. When he told me that the stores were crowded, I said that yes, all the goyim were there.  He became enraged.  I had already walked out of the room.  It takes so little to start a major explosion and that's what he is looking for.  HE FAILED AS HE ALWAYS WILL!!!  Quiet works wonders and totally frustrates him as I move forward with my own life.

I watched a good film last night on Netflix, The Invisible Wife and read my newest book.

Today I will walk.

I will take my yoga class and go to WEIGHT WATCHERS.

It's his birthday.   I'm letting him plan the day.  That is a no-brainer and it works.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am quiet around him and that works for me!!!

Thank you, Almighty!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING ABLE TO SEE

I am grateful to the Almighty for being able to see.

I now see that I am healthy.  I see that I have activities.  I see that I have friends.  I see that I am healthy.

I have come to appreciate my life.

I see that I must be quiet around adversity and I am.

Today I went to services and I appreciated the spirituality of the services as well as being with my synagogue friends.

I wil walk today.

I will see the world in the moment and realize how amazing it is.

Thank you, Almighty for the ability to see and appreciate life.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHR HEALTHY DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty that I arose, I'm healthy and it's another day that I can walk outside.

Yesterday was a wonderful day!!!!  I truly loved my yoga class and I was very happy with the Memory Writing Workshop.   We ate dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and we did see GONE GIRL.   I finished my book too!!!!

Today I will walk.  It's not raining so I will be able to walk outside.  Yoga will follow that.

I will order some clothes from L.L. BEAN too.  I will start yet another book for a book club.  I so enjoy reading and discussing these stories.

Tonight is the Sabbath.

Thank you Almighty for a healthy and happy day.

I am grateful!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE DAYS ADVENTURE

I am grateful to the Almighty because every day of my retirement brings a wonderful new adventure.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I embrace each new adventure with a smile.  I embrace the adventure alone because I have come to realize that anything that I do with him brings anxiety and sadness. 

Today I'm going to walk.  It's very cold outside as the weather has changed.  Because I have time, I am able to notice so many interesting things on my walk.  Yesterday, I stopped to watch the birds fly in formation.  I also saw a team cutting down a tree and making wood shavings.

I have a wonderful yoga class later this morning.  Later this afternoon I will attend my Memory Workshop.

I have allowed him to plan an evening activity.  Let's see where that goes.

Thank you Almighty for my new adventures.

I am grateful!!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

I am healthy.  I am happy.

I am retired!!!!

Today I will walk.  It's really foggy out there!!!!

I will attend the Rabbi's LUNCH and LEARN.

In the evening, I'm going to my yoga class and to a TORAH FUND presentation.

I love doing new things.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for this beautiful new day.

It's absolutely amazing, BUT, I slept late!!!!  I can feel the effects of the yoga that I did yesterday and it is wonderful.

My class was interesting and the lecture was quite good.

Today I will walk on this beautiful day.   He has something to do so that I will have the house to myself.  Wow!!! (Update:  He never went.)

This afternoon I have a manicure/pedicure appointment.  It's time to get rid of the Halloween pumpkin on my nails.

I have a book discussion tonight.  The book is Lone Survivor.  I could have invited him but for what?????   He behaved himself yesterday at the Jewish Institute.  However, it isn't enough to be invited again.

Thank you, Almighty for this beautiful day.

I am grateful!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW DAY

Each day that I wake up, I am grateful to the Almighty for a beautiful new day.

I am healthy.

I am happy.

I am retired!!!!!

Today I will walk and then go to yoga.   

I might go to breakfast with friends or postpone that until next week.

My doggie is going for a grooming.

I have my course at the Adult Institute.

I will read my wonderful new book, the newspapers and dink DD coffee.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this new day.

Thank you, Almighty for helping me reach this point in my life.

I am grateful!!

GRATEFUL FOR SURVIVAL SKILLS

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has shown me how to survive in the face of adversity.

Weekends with him are difficult to say the least.  What goes on are psychological games to try and break me.  Truthfully, they don't succeed however as in the case yesterday, they make my muscles very tense and I could see that when I went to yoga yesterday.   Saturday was "the silent treatment" which didn't work at all.   Sunday he tried to start many arguments which didn't work at all.  He goes from, "I love you" to "I hate you" trying to break me but it doesn't succeed either.  He never gives up no matter how many times I tell him that he is a failure at this.

We went out east yesterday, later in the day, because I wanted to read and relax.  There was nothing to do there.  It was just to check to see if there was damage to the condo which there wasn't.  He was furious at having to go, having to go earlier, later, anything to start a row.  He failed.  

I concluded that it didn't pay for me to go Thanksgiving weekend and be alone with him in a condo. That was a recipe for failure.  He doesn't know my decision yet but my decision will go the way of vacations, and buying a new condo.

When he arrived home, he tried "scare tactics."   How will I manage when he is gone?  He loves me so much and he is up worrying about this!!!!

I had to make sure that I didn't smile.

I know that this is how he is and am grateful to the Almighty for my ability to rise above all of this and survive.

I am grateful!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has given me this wonderful day.

I am healthy.  I am happy.  I am successfully retired.

Yesterday at services, I heard and saw so many sad stories.  I prayed so hard because I was grateful to the Almighty for my life.

I re-read my blog yesterday and was interested in seeing that he was the same person last year at this exact time as he is this year.  Last year I came home to silence and this year it was the same.

BUT, the difference is that I have grown and changed.  I knew that there would be silence.  I embraced it by walking, reading and watching The Innocents last night.  I LOVED THE DAY and have so moved forward with myself.  I am proud of me.

Today, I will walk and attend my Sunday yoga class.

DD coffee and reading will be next.

We need to take a ride out to the condo to check on it.

We will go out for dinner.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this day.

Thank you so much!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE SABBATH

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is the Sabbath.

I went to services and found them to be very spiritual.  I also enjoyed my friends.

Even though it is cold outside, I intend to walk.

I will read and relax.

I have a Netflix film for tonight.

I am grateful to the Almighty because it is the Sabbath.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am so grateful to the Almighty because He has given me a new life that I love.

Last night, I went out to dinner with him and met a new friend from yoga.  She was so happy to see me!!!!!!

Today I will walk outside and then attend my yoga class.

I will also prepare for Shabbos.

I am so grateful to the Almighty that I am happy.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR SHOWING MYSELF LOVE AND COMPASSION

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has shown me how to show myself LOVE and COMPASSION.

Today I will walk in Home Depot as it is raining.

I will take a yoga class too.

The book that I'm reading,  THE HUSBAND'S SECRET  for the Sisterhood Book Club is like reading a soap opera.  But, it's a fast read.

I will do some errands in Fresh Produce.

I let him plan the rest of the day.  In showing myself Love and Compassion, I will let him plan and then he is responsible for the day.

I am grateful for learning how to show myself LOVE and COMPASSION.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR GOING TO YOGA

I am grateful to the Almighty for encouraging me to attend my Restorative Yoga class last night.

He tried to needle me all day long.  It started because I wasn't ready the exact moment that he wanted to go to Pep Boys to have the car inspected.  Naturally I shut it down by being quiet and that quiet lasted for the rest of the day.  I used my strategies to make that happen.  However, I questioned why life has to be like this and that could lead to sadness.

During yoga, Dawn spoke about giving yourself LOVE and not FEAR.   Suddenly, it made sense.  I needed to be good to myself. I needed to think positive thoughts about myself.  If I don't do it then who will?  I have worked hard all my life to care for others and now it's time for me.

I began today with the intention of being kind to myself.  If he starts, instead of thinking up strategies, I will think about what I could do for myself as well as what I have achieved.    I will live in LOVE, not FEAR.

Today, I'm walking early because I have not one but two yoga classes.  I also have the Rabbi's study group tonight.

There are also chores to do, newspapers and books to read and DD coffee to drink.

I am grateful to the Almighty for sending me to yoga.   It has truly been the driving force in my new life.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR LIVING IN LOVE............NOT FEAR!!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am learning to live in love and not fear.

Yesterday I went to my yoga class and I heard Leslie say that we must not live in fear.  We must recognize that we did the best that we possibly could and cannot do anything more.  We have to learn to love ourselves, to enjoy ourselves and to appreciate who we are.  Each time that I think about the triad, I will remember this.

Today is a beautiful day and I will walk outside.  It is also Election Day and I'm going to vote. I have a Restorative Yoga class tonight.  I'm hoping to order my beginner oil kit tonight.

There are errands also.  The truck goes in for inspection.  I hope to vote also.

Thank you Almighty for helping me to live in love and not fear.   I will try not to feel responsible for everything that they are.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR MONDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is Monday.  I am retired.  I do not have to go to work.  Monday is my new favorite day!!!!

Yesterday worked out very well.   I finished my book for the Yoga Book Club and will begin one for the Sisterhood Book Club.  We watched the film, The Others.  It was a Netflix film that I held for a long time.  We went out to dinner at Morrison's and Michael welcomed us back. I was able to watch Olive Kittridge on HBO also.

We also decided to winterize the condo.  The season is over and it's time to close the condo down until next year.  I don't care if we purchase a new condo. I'm living in the moment.

I have decided not to be so hard on myself and try and enjoy life.

The clocks were changed Saturday night so that today on a beautiful and cold day, I can walk earlier.  I am going to take my yoga class and then head off to a book discussion at the library.

I am beginning to pick and choose what I want to do and what I don't want to do.  I did not want to miss yoga to have lunch with the ladies.  This is beginning to remind  me of when I entered college and I had to decide on a social course of action.

Tonight is my class at The Adult Institute too!!!!

I am grateful for all the good in my life.

I am grateful that I decided to retire.

Thank you, Almighty for my new life and for helping me to make these decisions.

I am grateful to you!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for today.

It is extremely windy and cold outside so my plans have changed.

I'm going to walk in Home Depot.

I'm going to take a yoga class.

I will go to Weight Watchers for November.

Simple plans because life should be enjoyed. 

The rest of the day will be made up as I move along.

I am grateful to the Almighty for today!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for today.

I will be going to PJC services in my yoga clothes because I signed up for a yoga workshop today.

It is raining and I will walk at Home Depot.

I hope to watch a NETFLIX film tonight.

Thank you, Almighty for today.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Retirement is awesome!!!!!

Tonight is the Sabbath and as is my custom, I review the week.   It has been a wonderful week filled with fun, and exciting things that made me smile.

Just as I thought it couldn't get better,  I opened my computer and noticed that as my friend would say, "there's money in the candy store."  My pension came and I didn't work a day!!!

This morning I will walk and take a yoga class and then go out for breakfast with friends.

Last night the fundraiser for my friend was awesome.  I invited him to drive and pick me up so that I could drink.  He did and as usual makes negative remarks that are ignored by me.  To cover myself, I asked him to have breakfast on Monday after yoga.  I'm sure that he will forget.
That's fine with me.

I am happy with my new life.

I am grateful to the Almighty for it.

Thank you, Almighty!!!

GRATEFUL FOR ACCEPTANCE

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am finally, after all these years learning how to handle acceptance.

I was delighted that yesterday, I was invited to lunch by my yoga group after Friday's yoga class.  It was wonderful to be accepted on my own after being ignored all these years because I had horrific children!!!!

I am beginning to accept that he will forever try and do things to upset me.   Although this is difficult to live with,  I am slowly becoming comfortable with it, so that when he does something decent, it does as a surprise.

I am beginning to accept and not to mention vacations because the reality is that I won't ever be going on one with him.

I finally accept that we will not be buying another condo and will just be making believe that we are doing so.  I finally accept that that is a good thing because if we did make the purchase, he would "work the crowd" until no one spoke to me.

I accept the fact that he will not do anything with me.   To be politically correct and to shut him down, I always ask him to go, knowing that he will always say, "no."

I am so relieved about this because I can enjoy my own life.

I will do three special things today.  I will be attending a Project Pace Book Discussion where I thoroughly enjoyed the book.  I will be attending a fundraiser entitled, Karen's Hope,  for my friend Laura.  I also was interviewed to volunteer at P.A.C.E. I want to work in their office.  It is good to be able to do things in the town that I live in without the threat of those girls over me like a dark cloud.

I am looking forward to these activities.

Thank you, Almighty because I have begun to understand and accept the concept of acceptance.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

It is filled with so many enjoyable things to do.

It allows me to stop and look at the moment that I'm in.

Today I will walk and I hope to take two yoga classes.

I will be attending the Rabbi's study group tonight.

I am so grateful that I retired.

Thank you, Almighty for my new life.

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY!!

I am grateful to the Almighty for giving me today.

I am healthy.  I am happy.

We went to the Jewish Institute last night to begin our classes.  I really enjoyed my class on Israeli and Greek mythology with Rabbi Rank.  The lecture afterwards was really good.  It was like the lectures that I had in college.  And of course there were friends and cookies!!!!

I need to let go of seeing the younger one.  Now she is a transexual!!!  I guess that marrying a Black man wasn't enough.   It's time for me to move away from her and it will be done gladly.

Today will be another fun filled day.

I will walk soon because it's beautiful outside.   There are, of course, errands that need to be done.

I'm going to an afternoon book club today.

Matzah will go to the dog park.

I have yoga tonight!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty that I am healthy and happy.

Thank you for Tuesday!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MONDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is Monday and I am retired!!!!!

It's a vacation!!!!

Last night we took the younger one and her significant other to the dog park so that Matzah had playmates.  From marrying a Black Orthodox Jew who converted to Christianity to Islam to Orthodox Judiasm to being a lesbian.   That's why yoga allows me to let go!!!!!!

I did get to watch the Boardwalk Empire finale and really enjoyed it.

This morning I went to services because today was the anniversary of the day that my father died.  I was never able to do that before because I went to work.   I will try to get to the morning minyon tomorrow and the days after.

I'm going to walk now.  It's a beautiful day!!!!   I have a yoga class later and then an Apple lesson.

Tonight begins the Jewish Adult Education classes.  I'm looking forward to my class. It deals with Greek and Jewish mythology.

Thank you Almighty for this beautiful Monday and for my retirement.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE NEW ME

I am grateful to the Almighty for helping me to become the new me.

I saw that yesterday in so many ways.   I had a wonderful time at services.  I enjoyed my friends.  I sat with friends at the luncheon.  He spent the entire day trying to argue about a new condo vs moving into one home.  I did not let it rattle me.  He was quiet, subdued and waiting to do something that would make me unhappy.   Unlike me, he had no joy seeing Jay and the Americans at the fundraiser for PJC.   He sat with my friends but since he had no real knowledge of them, he had to be quiet.  I was surrounded by people that I was friendly with and there was so much laughing.  He was quiet!!!!!  I had not given him information about anyone or even their last names.

I have even given up dreams.  Each song that the grip sang reminded me of a dream, but I let the dream go, lived in the now and loved the music.

Today, I will walk and take a yoga class.

As usual I have errands to do.  I hope to finish my book.  Tonight is the finale of Boardwalk Empire.  

The younger one said that she might come a bring a "girlfriend."  He is not happy at all. And me??   It's my time!!!!!

Thank you, Almighty for creating the new me.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL TO THE ALMIGHTY

I am grateful to the Almighty for leading me and encouraging me to retire so that I could have a wonderful new life!!!!!

I love it!!!

Today is Shabbos and I will be at services thanking the Almighty for my new life.

I will come home to walk, to read, to relax and just to be.

I am so grateful for all of this.

Tonight we are going to a PJC fundraiser.  Jay and the Americans will be singing at the middle school.  I love their music.

Thank you, Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful!!!!

MENTAL STRENGTH

I am thankful to the Almighty because He has blessed me with mental strength.

I was reading a book called Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell which is the eyewitness account of Operation Redwing and the lost heroes of Seal Team 10.   He was describing what it took to become a SEAL and said that it took mental health and not having a pity party for yourself.

Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head.  I realized that this is what he tries and I might add fails to do to me.  First he's decent.  Then he makes a plan.  Then he cancels the plan.  Then he ignores me.  It's done to start a fight.  I'm supposed to ask what is wrong.  I foil the plan by creating a counter plan and move on.

Last night was a case in point.  He created a plan to go to dinner and a film.  He played the game and expected me to react.  I didn't.   I read my book, watched television about the Ebola virus in NY and then watched Parenthood.

It should be pointed out that the book speaks of mental strength as something you need to become a SEAL.  It speaks of a pity party too.  It was amazing that I read this last night. I believe that the Almighty was leading me to this section.

He does the same thing with vacations and that's why there are none.

It should be pointed out that he fails each time.

Today I will finally walk outside as it is not raining.  I will attend my yoga class and do some errands.  I went to Fairway,  B. Well Naturally for oils and vitamins and Eyeglass House because my glasses are gone!!!!  I also went to FV Cleaners and brought in the last of my summer clothes to store.

Tonight is Shabbos.

I am grateful to you, Almighty for being there for me.

Thank you for my mental health.

I am grateful!!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR LOVING MYSELF

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has finally taught me to love myself and do what is right for me.

I had a wonderful day yesterday.  I did all the activities that I enjoyed.

Today it is still raining and again I will walk at Home Depot and then take my yoga class.

I wil do some errands and drink DD coffee while I read the newspapers and my book.

This afternoon I have my Memory Workshop.

He is supposed to plan a film and dinner out.  Let's see what happens.

I love retirement.

Thank you Almighty for helping me to achieve this.

I am grateful!!

Later-   I came home and he was in his usual miserable mood.  It worked for me!!!  After the Memory Workshop I will be able to read and watch PARENTHOOD!!  Last night I went out to dinner and had a wonderful dinner with my friends.  I ate brownies, and cookies at my friend's house after the book discussion.  Because of his attitude I will be able to loose the weight!!!!  This was done without me saying a word and his credit card paid for my dinner.

Thank you, Almighty.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

I am grateful for the way that each day unfolds and for all the adventures that I am having.

This morning it is raining.

The plan is to walk at Home Depot and then take a yoga class.

Tonight I will have dinner with friends and attend the Sisterhood Book Club.

I am grateful that the Almighty has been there for me and helped me to create a wonderful new life.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL TO THE ALMIGHTY

I am grateful to the Almighty for helping me make the decision to retire.

I am having a wonderful time.

Today I will do the usual, walk, read, drink DD coffee.................

I will begin yet another new book for a book club.  It's called LONE SURVIVOR by Marcus Luttrell.

To make my heart soar, I am going for a manicure/pedicure.  Halloween will be the theme of my new manicure/pedicure.    I am also going to Restorative Yoga tonight.

I'm loving retirement.

Thank you, Almighty for helping me to make this major decision.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL TO THE ALMIGHTY BECAUSE IT'S MONDAY!!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty because today is Monday.

I am happy and healthy and I don't have to go to work.  Monday is my new favorite day of the week!!!!!!

Today I will walk.  I will finish my reading BREWSTER.  It is excellent!!!!!

I will take a yoga class wearing my new shirt from LuLu Lemon.

I will do some errands.

I will begin to fill out the questions for Thursday's Memory Writing Workshop.

It's my life.

I'm healthy and happy.

I am grateful to the Almighty for that which He has given me!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR NEW ADVENTURES

I am grateful to the Almighty for the new adventures in my life.

I have left my old life behind, thanks to the Almighty and I am embarking on new adventures.

Yesterday was an example.  Services and kiddush were wonderful.  I loved being with my synagogue friends. We made plans for dinner and book club on Wednesday.   After synagogue I walked only for an hour and then went to my Reiki and Restorative Yoga Workshop which was very spiritual.  I came home and politically asked him if he wanted to go to the dog park.  Knowing that the answer would be, "No," I continued the second hour of my walk.  I texted both daughters, again politically. I also spoke to friends.   At night, I watched Lone Survivor on HBO which is another book that I have to read for a club.   The day was amazing.

Today I will walk and then go to yoga and Weight Watchers.   Again I let him plan the remainder of the day.  I do this quietly and it works.  I'm proud of me.   I'm also thankful that the Almighty is in my life to help me to make all this happen.

The plan is to walk in the mall and go to dinner.

It's fine with me.

It's all good.

We walked the mall and I bought yoga items with a gift card that was my Mother's Day gift. I treated him to dinner.  I paid cash.   When we returned home I saw the ending of Boardwalk Empire. Next week is the finale.

Thank you, Almighty for my new adventures.

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because he has given me this beautiful day.

I am grateful today because I am healthy, both physically and emotionally.  

He has tried to take me down roads that I choose not to go and has failed. For this too, I am grateful.

Today I will attend services on the first Sabbath of this New Year.  I prayed my heart out and hope that I have a good year.

I will attend a Reiki/Restorative workshop.  I am very excited about this too.

Thank you, Almighty for giving me today!!!

GRATEFUL FOR THE DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for this beautiful day.

I am health and happy and living in this day which is my entire life.

I will go to services to celebrate Simchat Torah.

I will appreciate this day by enjoying all the sounds, colors and moments.

I will walk on a beautiful day.  I will read!!!

Tonight is the Sabbath.   Awesome!!!!

Thank you, Almighty for today!!

I am grateful!!!

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am alive and happy today.

I went to a yoga class yesterday.  The teacher said that TODAY is your life.  YESTERDAY is gone.  TOMORROW hasn't come.  TODAY IS YOUR LIFE.  I am grateful to the Almighty because I have today!!!

Today it is raining.  This is fine because I'm going to PJC for services and yizkor.  My neck feels really good after all that yoga yesterday.  I felt a real strain in it...........but two classes later, I'm fine.

Today is a TO BE day.  I'm going to have to decide what I'm doing.

More Later-

Services were wonderful!!!  It was nice hanging out with friends.  The weather is clearing and so I probably will be able to walk!!!!!  

I was able to walk.  It was wonderful.  

Tonight I will be lighting candles for Simchat Torah.

I am grateful to the Almighty for today. 

TONIGHT IS YOM TOV!!!!!

I am grateful to the Almighty because tonight is the beginning of a three day holiday culminating in Simchat Torah and Shabbos.

It's a holiday I couldn't take off for in many years.

Retirement has made it possible for me to attend services.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I am grateful to the Almighty for all of my accomplishments.

What occurred yesterday was an example of my gratitude.   He was in an aggressive mood and was looking for things to say that would bring me down the wrong road every time that I saw him.   However, his strategy did not work at all.  I just continued on my way doing the things that gave me joy.

I did not even question why he was in my life.  I just continued my life in a positive way.  Looking back to yesterday, I am very pleased with the way that I handled the day.  I did not even have moments where I asked myself, "why me?"  That is a major accomplishment for me.

 Today I will walk.  I've decided to attend Mel's yoga class before the Yoga Book Club.  Both of those activities will be fun.

 My plan is to read yet another new book for the Plainview Book Club, BREWSTER.

Tonight begins the last of the Jewish holidays.  There is a yizkor service tomorrow and Simchat Torah services on Friday.  Saturday is Shabbos and I have a yoga workshop.

I love having activities to look forward to.

I am grateful to the Almighty for getting me to a place where I can appreciate my accomplishments.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR A NEW DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for a new day.  

My goal is to make it a good one.

I will walk this morning.  Later I am looking forward to attending Lunch and Learn in the Sukkah hosted by the Rabbi.   Tonight I have a Book Discussion.  We will be discussing The Turn of the Screw.  I hope to be able to watch Boardwalk tonight.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this wonderful new day.  I am healthy and happy and looking forward to my activities.

Thank you, Almighty for my life.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR A WONDERFUL COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND

I am grateful to the Almighty because I just returned from the condo and I had a wonderful weekend.

I am grateful because I know what to say, when to say it and when to be quiet.

We did amazing things out east and I enjoyed all of them.

I am grateful to the Almighty for this weekend!!!!

Thank you!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR SHABBOS

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am alive and healthy on this beautiful, but rainy Sabbath.

Today might be the Sukkah Hop if the rain stops.  If not, at least I was in the synagogue Sukkah and the Cantor's Sukkah for a wonderful luncheon.

Later in the day, I will be going to the condo for the Columbus Day Weekend.  I approach this trip with joy.   I no longer fear what he will do or say because it is expected and it doesn't matter.  How's that for moving forward???

I will not be writing until I return.

Thank you for this wonderful Sabbath.

I am truly grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Today was the second day of Sukkoth.    I walked for two hours before services and will try to walk again later.

The services were uplifting as well as spiritual.   I so enjoyed being with friends in the Sukkah, especially meeting new people.  People who didn't speak to me in years are talking to me.  The Triad has been forgotten at PJC!!!!

I will read today and prepare dinner for Shabbos.

I also need to finish packing.  It is also Columbus Day Weekend and we are going to the condo.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR SYNAGOGUE ON SUCCOTH

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am retired and I attended a luncheon in the Sukkoth hosted by the Rabbi and the Cantor.

I awoke so early this morning that the moon was still up.  I walked for two hours.

Then I went to services at PJC for the festival of Sukkoth.  I felt so joyful!!!  I made it!!!!  Festivals belonged to me now.  I didn't have to go to work!!!!!! They were no longer living here to destroy my peace and quiet.  I know how to handle him.  He didn't go.  Then again, he never attends services.   I sat with friends during the service and really enjoyed myself.  I felt so comfortable both with the Almighty and with my friends.

A luncheon was hosted by the Rabbi and the Cantor in the Cantor's Sukkoth.   I DID NOT DIET!!!!  I enjoyed everything.   It was wonderful!!!!   I so enjoyed sitting with friends.

I came home to go on the computer, to read and to walk again.

I must have eaten everything in sight.  This definitely was not a diet day!!!!

Thank you Almighty for the peace and serenity that I feel.

I am grateful!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY NEW LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life.

Today will be a wonderful day.   I'm walking for my usual two hours.

I will be trying out a new yoga class.  Then I signed up for a Healthy Oils Workshop at the studio with Dawn.

Tonight is the eve of the holiday of Sukkoth.

I am grateful to the Almighty for my new life!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR ENJOYING MY LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am enjoying my life.

Retirement is awesome.

I was able to finish my book for the Yoga Book Club last night.  I downloaded the next book for the Sisterhood Book Club on to my Kindle and began to read it.   I also blogged it.   It's a good book and an easy read.

After dinner, we watched The Lego Movie.  It was terrible and we never finished it.

I will walk this morning and mail it.  Tonight I have a yoga class.  It's a quiet day so I gave him the opportunity to plan something.  Let's see what happens.

More later!!!!

We went to the Tanger Outlet in Deer Park and he went shopping.  I just like walking around which was fine.   Westbury Gardens is closed on Tuesday and so the choice was fine.  I purchased a challah because Sukkoth starts tomorrow night.   After dinner, I'm going to Restorative Yoga and then will watch Forever on television. 

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am enjoying my life.

Thank you, Almighty!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR BEING REALISTIC AND IN CONTROL

I am grateful to the Almighty that He me me a realistic person that is in control of my life.

I cannot change the damage that was inflicted upon me by the triad as well as by my parents BUT I definitely can control its impact upon me.   I choose to LET IT GO!!!!

We did go to Shula and Elian's house yesterday because one of their sons got married.  We were ignored by Hilary and Izzy who gave us the most obligatory time.    I knew this and I chose to LET IT GO making the time spent with them, not meaningful at all.   The younger one didn't even bother to show up.  That' the way this group functions as a family.

We took the dog to the park afterwards and went out to dinner.  I got to finish The NY Times, read my book and watch Boardwalk Empire.

Today, I will walk.  I'm going to lunch and to a library book discussion with my friends.  I need to call the dentist and go to the bank too.

I'm glad that the Almighty made me a realistic person.  It does make life easier.  Sometimes sadness does set in, but I try to be aware and move forward.

I am grateful to the Almighty for His help.

Thank you, Almighty.

GRATEFUL FOR STRENGTH AND FORTITUDE

I am grateful to the Almighty for giving me strength and fortitude.

Last night, even though I had fasted all day, he was in rare form.  He was looking for something, anything to start arguing about.  I knew this and during services I made sure to realize that I would be exhausted and was prepared to say absolutely nothing.  I won.

I enjoyed my day at services.  The prayers and Rabbi's speech were very spiritual.  I enjoyed the healing session with the Rabbi too.  When I came home, I was pleased to have a quiet dinner and then was able to read and generally get my house back in shape.

I'm up early to walk.  I hope to take a yoga class and then go to Weight Watchers.

Today I have to go to a brunch with the older one's family.  If you remember, he hates the boyfriend and the family.  This should be interesting..........more later!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR A PEACEFUL DAY

I am grateful to the Almighty for a peaceful day.

I am writing after Yom Kippur.

Thanks to the Almighty, it was a peaceful and spiritual day.  I hope that everything that I prayed for comes truth.

I really enjoyed the sermon and the Rabbi's healing class.  It will definitely help me deal with my own life.   We spoke of mental illness and how it takes over a family.  This has happened to me and I survived.

Thank you, Almighty for a peaceful day.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL THAT I MADE IT THROUGH THE RAIN

I am so grateful to the Almighty because He helped me make it through the rain this year.

Tonight is Kol Nidre and tomorrow is Yom Kippur.   I will be at services all day praying that this year my family and myself will have a healthy and happy New Year.

I always am nervous at this time of year because I want us all to be inscribed in the Book of Life.  I pray it is so.

The year has been awesome because I made it through the rain and learned how to handle all my adversaries.  For the third year in a row,  I did not invite them.  It has made the holiday so much more spiritual.   One stayed in pjs all day and never went to services.  The other went to services and then acted in a juvenile manner.  For example, she never prayed but spent time bending her father's thumb back!!!!   Gone are the break fasts where no one fasted and I only did a break fast to encourage my daughters to be observant.  You can see how that worked out!!!!

I pray that the New Year will bring us Health, Happiness, Peace and Calmness.  I hope to continue to benefit from all that yoga has taught me.

Thank you, Almighty.

I am grateful.

GRTEFUL FOR MAINTAINING MY OWN PEACE AND CALM

I am grateful to the Almighty because He has taught me, based on experiences,  how to main my well being and maintain a peaceful and calm state.

He was riding high on July 31, 2012 when the horrific incident occurred. My retirement changed all that in that the older one is with a man that he hates and neither daughter calls him. The younger one calls when she needs something.   That has put him into a state of depression and he would like nothing better than to lash out at me.

However, that is not happening as I know how to maintain a peaceful and calm existence so that I can enjoy my life.     I am quiet!!!!!!!  It works!!!!   

It took forever to update my I-Phone 5 yesterday, but now it's done.  The book that I'm reading for the Yoga Book Club is a real page turner.  In three days, I'm 70% done!!!!!

Today I will walk and then take a yoga class.

I'm excited to say that my hair will be colored and blown out today.

I will not be making dinner, but will be going out!!!!

I am thankful to the Almighty for helping me maintain a peaceful and calm existence.

I am grateful to Him!!!!

GRATEFUL FOR MY APPRECIATION OF LIFE

I am grateful to the Almighty because I truly appreciate my new life.

I am so happy that I began this retirement adventure.  Everyday is filled with new experiences.  Each day is different.

Yesterday I loved going to the "candy store" and seeing my pension in direct deposit.

Today it is cloudy.  It looks like it might rain.  However, I will walk anyway!!!!

My plan today is to go to an Apple lesson where I will put more music on my IPOD.  I hope that I learn to do this.

I will read my book for the Yoga Book Club too.  It's about lesbians!!

Tonight I have a yoga class.

I hope to start cleaning yet another closet because the weather is bad.  However I may be lucky with nothing to clean!!!!!

I am so happy with my new life.

Thank you, Almighty.

UPDATE-   Nothing to clean in closet!!!!!  I updated my phone and I-POD shuffles at the Apple Store.   No time for music.

GRATEFUL FOR TODAY'S EXCITEMENT

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am going to a union retirement luncheon today.

I am up very early to walk as the luncheon starts at 11:30.

I also have a yoga class tonight.

Last night, we watched yet another new television show.  I caught up with Parenthood on line.

I will write later to let you know details.

Later-   I returned from the luncheon.  It was very enjoyable.  My friend Dennis was there as well as my friend Rosemarie.

Now I plan to read The NY TIMES and my book.

I am grateful to the Almighty for having achieved the retirement milestone.

GRATEFUL FOR GETTING RID OF GHOSTS

I am grateful to the Almighty because He helped me become a wonderful reader.  

Yesterday, even though I was having a really good day, I was upset because I had saved my mother's old pocketbook and I looked at pictures of my daughters when they were little.  I realized that my dreams about having a family did not come true.  I was shattered especially when I had the time to speak to one of my young neighbors and realized how normal she is. My daughters destroyed my life in this town.

However as I read the quote about ghosts on line, I realized that it was time to get rid of them.  They are ghosts and it is tie for me to let go otherwise it doesn't pay for me to go to yoga.  

It will take time, but it will be done.  

The Almighty will help me do this.

Thank you, Almighty for your help.

I am grateful.

GRATEFUL FOR MONDAY

I am grateful to the Almighty because I am alive, well and happy and NOT GOING TO WORK ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday has become my new favorite day of the week because I don't have to transition to go to work.  I also love Sunday night because my stomach doesn't drop with the thought of a week at work.

Thanks to the Almighty, I have made myself safe at home so that I can enjoy all the privileges of not working.

Yesterday worked out well for me.  I walked, went to yoga and Weight Watchers.  I even delivered my charity bag of groceries to PJC.   We did go to The Sands Point Preserve for the Fall Festival.  It was enjoyable.  He was in one of his decent moods.  He took me out to dinner at Rachael's.  I thought that I was paying and then I wasn't.  That's his craziness.  He even bought me an ice cream sundae.   I always celebrate my weight after I get weighed.   I texted the older one.   I was so happy that I had uninvited her from Rosh Hashanah years ago.  She doesn't believe in it and would have destroyed it for me.

I got to watch Boardwalk too!!!!!

Today I will walk.   I will do some errands.

I have a wonderful yoga class to take.

Then I will settle down with my book for the Yoga Book Club and read.

I am grateful to the Almighty because I made it.

I am grateful for Monday.